


I'm Older Than You, and Must Know Better

by RedIce



Series: Being Asexual in a Yaoi Novel [3]
Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Abuse, Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Anxiety, Asexual Akihito, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Child Abuse, Corporal Punishment, Depression, Dissociation, Domestic Discipline, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Submission, Nursing, Other, Overdosing, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Punishment, Sexual Abuse, Spanking, Succubi & Incubi, Therapy, Verbal Abuse, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 62,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27014698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedIce/pseuds/RedIce
Summary: Arc three of An Ace Down the Rabbit Hole. Here comes the promised hard-won fluff.Akihito has been fighting to return home all this time. But for a monster like him, where is home?
Relationships: Asami Ryuichi & Takaba Akihito
Series: Being Asexual in a Yaoi Novel [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828075
Comments: 320
Kudos: 153





	1. Sorry and Sorrow

“Open up, Aki-chan.” Akihito is sitting on the floor of their shared apartment kitchen, hugging Suzuki’s calves as the man peels bunny apple slices over the sink. The bodyguard places each apple slice into Akihito’s mouth as he finishes peeling the piece. 

Once Suzuki finishes washing the knife and placing it on the drying rack, he leans down to pick Akihito up, settling him on a hip. The blond peeks over Suzuki’s shoulder, still chewing his last piece. Kirishima is at the dining room table typing furiously into a laptop, phone besides him.

“We’re visiting Asami today?”

Kirishima grunts. “And Asami said to eat your onions and vegetables.”

The blond makes a face. Somehow Suzuki notices it. “Don’t pout. They’re good for you.”

“What Asami doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

Kirishima smirks. “Oh, he’ll know.”

Akihito purses his lips. “Oh, yeah? How can he? He’s not a know-it-all. I bet he won’t know that I just ate an apple. An apple is a vegetable!”

Kirishima and Suzuki snort in tandem. 

“Too bad. He already knows.” Suzuki carries him to the adjoining bedroom and starts picking out his clothes.

“An apple is not a vegetable, Takaba Akihito.” Kirishima murmurs from his seat. 

Ugh. Not knitted fish again. Akihito would prefer the polar bear sweaters from Misha. 

“Akihito, it’s not nice to kick your friend.”

Suzuki’s already taken Akihito’s pajamas off. The blond pauses mid-way from pedaling the stuffed bear held high in his hands with his feet. He’s laying on his back atop the covers, arms up, toes pushing the bear so it rotates and flips, back and forth. His wings hang off the edges of the bed, a few downy feathers here and there peppering the carpet. 

Phone in hand, Kirishima leans on the bedroom doorway. 

Kirishima’s staring in between Akihito’s legs. “He’s still bleeding?”

“Only a little bit. This morning’s only a few drops.” Suzuki replies and finally settles on an outfit that’s thankfully not as much of a monstrosity as the blond initially feared. In fact, it would be cute. If he were a girl, that is.

Kirishima nods, lips pursing. 

Suzuki slips briefs through his feet and up his legs. Akihito obediently lifts his hips. The man adds shorts and thin socks. The blond sits up, and after he retracts his plumage Suzuki wrestles a shirt embroidered with a cozy cat onto him. 

“Outside?” Akihito lets go of Teremok. Teremok the bear can hibernate in his bear cave below the bed today. 

“Yeah, little guy. We’re going outside today.” Suzuki’s eyes crinkle.

“Outside! Yay!” The blond flaps his hands.

“Excited, huh?”

Yeah, duh. Who wouldn’t be if they were stuck inside for months at a time? He dutifully bobbles his head up and down.

“Don’t mislead him.” Kirishima packs his electronics. 

“Okay, okay buddy.” Suzuki laughs. “Make sure to hold my hand, alright? We don’t want you getting lost.”

“I don’t wanna.” They’re all back in Kabukicho. Of course Akihito won’t get lost. Adults say the silliest things sometimes.

“Akihito, this is non-negotiable.”

“But why?” The blond whines as he slips his hand into Suzuki’s larger one. 

Suzuki sighs.

**

Akihito wraps his fingers around Suzuki’s pinky, swinging his fist between them. The three of them go into the lobby, into the elevator, and… up ten floors?

This is not going outside. 

The elevator operator tips his head as they enter the top floor. Kirishima knocks on the solid, probably bulletproof door, but it opens before Kirishima’s hand can connect to the door.

“You’re here early.” Asami smirks, in casual sweats and a long-sleeve shirt. “Come in.”

“Thank you, Asami.” Kirishima intones. Akihito and Suzuki follow inside.

“You were up here the entire time?” Akihito flaps as he toes off his shoes into the genkan. “You cheater!”

The interior of Asami’s penthouse is completely different from Akihito’s. It has modern decor and probably priceless art, lined with wall to ceiling thick glass windows. It looks like a display, not a home.

Asami chuckles slowly. “Who do you think paid for your apartment the past few days?”

Akihito glowers, uncurling his fingers from Suzuki. “No! You don’t get to pay for it! I can pay for myself!”

“The proper way to respond would be ‘Thank you’, Aki-chan.” Suzuki chastises.

“Nnnnnn! You’ll see. I’ll make money, and then I’ll be richer than you, and then I’ll be providing for Yoh and Suzuki and YOU! Just you wait! You’ll be eating me! From my money!”

In the kitchen cooking dinner, Kirishima’s lips twitch. 

“I mean you’ll be eating my money!” Akihito crosses his arms and stomps away somewhere. He doesn’t know where. “Bye, Glasses.” He whispers. 

He ignores Suzuki’s order to stay. There’s a hallway outside the living room and Akihito randomly chooses a door. 

It’s a bedroom. The blond throws himself on the king-sized bed and bounces on it. It smells like cigarette smoke and Bourbon and annoyingly like Asami. The bed is probably Asami’s. Akihito doesn’t care. What a git.

Wait. There’s a balcony! Suzuki said that he’s going outside today. Maybe the balcony’s what he meant! 

Akihito crawls across the bed and opens the double glass doors to the balcony. The sun shines strongly and the wind blows across his long, unbound hair. It’s a few minutes before the golden hour.

Wow! The blond takes a deep breath in and out. The air is fresh. The cars and people below look like toys in a diorama. Up here, everything earthly feels distant. All the other buildings around are below him. If he looks up and beyond, he thinks he can touch the sky. 

His wings are itching to get out. Akihito strips his shirt off, leaving it in a pile near the door. As he unfurls his wings, the wind tickles his feathers. His plumage and muscles automatically arch, trying to catch the breeze. It’s brisk, but he feels alive.

With more grace than he thinks he has, he hops onto the railing, one hand between his bent knees, balls of his feet balancing on the thin metal. His wings arc behind him and he squints up into the brightness of the sun.

The warmth of the sun rays feels good on him. Giggles bubble up his throat, beautiful and light like chimes in a spring breeze. 

_“Hey, there Mr. Blue Sky!_

_We’re so pleased to be with you_

_Look around and see what you do_

_Everybody smiles at you.”_

Akihito sings. A flock of birds passes by. The blond lifts his hand to reach the birds. They squawk back in greeting. Surprised, the boy gleefully chirps back in concord. 

“TAKABA AKIHITO! Get down from there!” Kirishima yells from the bedroom door. Behind him are Suzuki and Asami.

Surprised, the boy pulls his wings back and twists around, upsetting his balance. It takes nary a moment to regain his stability. 

The secretary lunges across the bedroom and into the balcony, pulling Akihito off the railing. In the man’s other hand is a wooden spoon. He must have come straight from the kitchen.

The blond caws in confusion as he’s hauled from the sweet, free air back into the penthouse. Asami picks his clothes up and locks the balcony doors with a click. Suzuki looks angry. Really angry.

“Do you have any idea how dangerous that was, Akihito?” 

“Noooo!” The blond shakes his head. It wasn’t dangerous at all! He just wanted to have a breath of fresh air. And he doesn’t want to stay here. Everyone looks angry. Even Kirishima.

He retracts his wings and tugs his arm free in one sudden movement and leaps to the door, taking no notice of Kirishima’s soft cry of surprise. 

As he dodges past everyone’s grasping hands, Suzuki catches his waist and wastes no time in administering three sharp smacks to his bottom. The smacks ring loudly in the room and Akihito yelps like a puppy. 

It burns! What the hell was that for? Akihito is a good boy.

Suzuki throws him onto the bed and takes Kirishima’s spoon. “You’re in big trouble, little guy.” 

Before the blond can scramble off, the man sits on the covers and pulls Akihito over his lap, hand pinning him by the lower back, spanking the boy in earnest. 

“First you ignored me when I told you to stay with us. Then you went off to stand _on top of the railing_ like a suicidal lemming. And then you try to run away?”

Akihito kicks and screams. No! It wasn’t like that at all! He didn’t run away! Nothing Suzuki said was true. Tears of frustration bead in his eyes. The sheer unfairness of it all makes his choke on his sobs. In the background, Akihito hears Asami and Kirishima talking about installing child locks.

The swats stop for a second, and Akihito inhales, gripping at the soft covers. The cloth is wet from the mess of his face. His hair is standing on end with goosebumps. But then Suzuki swings again, this time searing his ass with one hard spank. Oh God. It’s the spoon. 

“You were very naughty. You don’t listen to adults. You could have died, Akihito!” It lands again. Akihito shrieks, sharp and piercing, before devolving into sobs that shake his entire body. 

Another hit. The blond can’t help but bawl wordlessly into the covers. And then he’s being lifted up and into a crushing hug. Suzuki’s chin rests on Akihito’s head. There’s a hand rubbing circles into his back. 

Akihito’s too busy crying to realize that the punishment stopped. Once he does, he leans away from the comfort. He doesn’t want hugs from someone who just gave him pain. After all this time he’s trusted Suzuki, the man turns a hand on him, too?

“Aki-chan, you’re a good boy. But you can’t go pulling those kinds of stunts. If anyone sees you do that again, you’ll be over a lap before you can blink, you got that?” 

Various grunts of agreement echo across the room.

“And they probably won’t be as gentle as me.”

How in the world was that gentle?! He’s going to have to sleep on his stomach for the next week at least!

“Do you know that you were reckless? You could have easily fallen and then where would we be without Aki-chan, hm? Just one second and you could have plunged over a hundred stories. And your flight feathers haven’t even come in yet. ”

It isn’t fair! It’s so unfair! He wants to scream until Suzuki’s ears fall off. He’s the one with a swelling bottom.

The hand doesn’t stop rubbing. “I’m glad. Now apologize to everyone for being reckless, Aki-chan.”

Akihito shakes his head. He doesn’t want to. Everything is so unfair. Wasn’t the spanking enough? Suzuki must have learned to be cruel from Misha. 

“C’mon, Aki-chan. It’s okay. Just say, ‘I’m sorry for being reckless and I’ll try to not do it again.’”

The boy mumbles into Suzuki’s pec.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear it.” Kirishima states. Kirishima’s so unfair too. 

“Aki’s ssso-!” He yells from Suzuki’s torso between gasps from his crying. He can’t manage more than that. Every time he tries to open his mouth, he coughs and sputters. 

“Good enough.”

The blond continues to cry. He can’t help it, or stop it. The tears and sobs and hitching breaths keep coming. He climbs slowly and painfully off of Suzuki and into the bed, burrowing his head into a pillow. 

It smells like stupid Asami. Akihito hates everything.

Asami combs his large fingers through the mess of his hair, shushing him. If Asami ever wants to spank Akihito, his huge and calloused hands will hurt like hell. Same if anyone in this room ever wants to spank Akihito. Everyone is bigger and stronger and more trained than him. He won’t be able to do anything. What if they spank as hard as Yuri or Mikhail or FeiLong? Gods. Or if they use something other than their hands, like a spoon or a belt or… or a switch or a cane or a twase or hundreds of other things. Like an electrical cord, or a whip or a coat hanger or the buckle of a belt or-

He feels nauseous. Akihito doesn’t want to think about that.

The blond thought he'd escaped it. Escaped it all, coming back home. But now, he realizes that he hasn’t escaped it at all. It’ll just follow him wherever he goes, in different forms in different people, until the end of his life. He’ll never get out of under someone’s hands. And he’s asked for it, too, begging Suzuki not to leave him like a fool.

It hurts. It hurts so bad. The arm Kirishima grabbed, his ass, his chest, his throat. His sternum feels like it’s ripping itself out. It’s been feeling like this for who knows how long. Probably since he realized he’s just a monster at the knee of his mother he’s seen twice by then and then realizing that yes, he’s the common denominator. He’s the reason why everybody wants to disappear from him or ignore him or kill him. But they can’t kill him, because they’re nice people, so they just try to hurt him so badly that he’ll do the job for them and kill himself. 

Akihito’s tired of feeling like this. It gets better sometimes. Wait, no, it doesn’t get better. He just sometimes gets distracted by how he should feel. And then the bad feeling hits him harder. As it should. He’s been so stupidly stubborn all his life, ignoring his true purpose. He should have been killed at birth to make this world a better place. He’s only alive by the passive pity of real people. 

The blond feels cold and he’s shaking. It’s not the shivering shaking, but rather an adrenaline crash shaking that leaves him unhinged out of his bones. Akihito hates it, hates his sobbing, his double breathing, his dependence on others. Why can’t he ever stop being a parasite? He sucks the energy and time and life out of people. Literally, now. 

And he’s. He’s never gotten better. Akihito’s tried so hard every single day to be better, to be a good boy, to be a good son or a good neighbor or a good student or a good friend. But he always messes it up and ruins other people’s lives. It’s a pattern, and he knows it. He has known it. But he still tries to get better. And look where that’s gotten him.

Maybe if he suffocates himself into the pillow he’ll finally stop being a blight. He’ll die-for real this time. And everything will finally be better. There’s barely anyone who knows him. Nobody would mourn for him. He’s not a real person anyway. And if they do, they’ll get over it in a day or two. 

Be brave, Akihito. Be brave. It’s for the best.

Be brave, Akihito tells himself.

Akihito plants his face firmly into the pillow and presses down. It’s shocking at first to try to suck air in and not get anything, but he doesn’t move. He’ll actually try to die, this time. It’s good that he’s crying. He’s already halfway there, with all the irregular breathing.

How long has it been? 15 seconds? More? He can’t tell. He feels lightheaded now. Well, more lightheaded. It’s starting to work. Just be brave, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on-


	2. Check-ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akihito wanted to go outside so badly what seemed like eons ago. He doesn’t care about going outside anymore. He’s tired in a way he knows a nap won’t help. He closes his eyes anyway.
> 
> “Good boy, Aki-chan.”

Akihito finds himself under the covers, clothes gone, on top of a warm body. His cheek and lips are wet. Cracking open an eye, he finds that… he’s been sucking on someone’s nipple?

Oh. He didn’t die. The blond is vaguely disappointed. It’s not like it was going to work, he tells himself.

“You up, Takaba Akihito?” Huh. Glasses.

Akihito whimpers. He closes his eyes and rubs his cheek back into the chest below him. He wants to go back to sleep. Akihito misses the pulses of life in his belly that would lull him to dreamland. 

“Wake up, Takaba Akihito. You’ve slept over 15 hours already.”

Somehow in the span of the few seconds, he finds himself sucking on the wet nipple again and halfway to dreamland. 

Kirishima chokes faintly. Ugh. Akihito just wants to be left alone.

The man uncovers his foot. The blond whines and shifts it back under. The air is cold. Then, he feels an icy hand over his toes.

Akihito unlatches and sharply inhales through his teeth, eyes flying open.

“Time to get up, Takaba Akihito.”

“Did I do something wrong? Why are you calling me that?” The full name makes Akihito feel guilty, like he’s supposed to think through everything bad he’s ever done in his life. Oh. Akihito’s a bad boy. Of course he’s going to be treated like one.

“Up. Breakfast is ready.”

Akihito rolls off the stupidly big bed and then tries to sit up. Bad decision. His butt protests, vehemently.

But he just gasps a bit and moves on. He puts his feet under him and stands up, only to collapse on the ground not a moment later. His shaky legs only supported him a few seconds before giving out.

Kirishima catches him by the same arm the secretary did yesterday and Akihito can’t help but let out a little shriek. He’s out of breath, tears in his eyes again, muscles shaking the man’s grasp.

Glasses says nothing and picks him up, settling the naked boy on a hip, the strong arms supporting his thighs. 

The secretary noncommittally brushes Akihito’s hair, brushes his teeth, washes his face, and pats him dry to apply some fancy moisturizer. The boy doesn’t complain when Kirishima tugs a bit too harshly when dutch braiding his hair. By the end of it, Akihito’s shivering from the morning chill.

His shivering hurts. Moving hurts. Breathing hurts. Akihito just wants to go back to sleep.

Kirishima wraps a fluffy towel around him like a shawl, keeping Akihito on his hip all the while. Unfortunately, the towel is not long enough to cover his hips down. The blond is just thankful for the warmth, puffing little breaths into the secretary’s neck as he shakes.

In the kitchen, Suzuki hisses. “Aw, poor little guy. You must be hurting so bad. Suzuki’s sorry, 10 was too much.”

10 what? Oh. OH. The entire punishment was just 10 swats?! What the hell? It felt like 50!

Akihito sniffles into Kirishima’s clavicle. 

Suzuki approaches Akihito with a change of clothes. He must have gone back to the apartment and picked it out himself. Still on Kirishima’s hip, Suzuki makes quick work of dressing the blond. 

Akihito doesn’t stop shivering. It’s so cold.

Suzuki blows some heat into the boy’s fingers after clothing him. “He’s too cold. He’s shaking.”

Kirishima nods. The secretary produces Teremok from somewhere. Akihito reaches for the bear and Kirishima places it carefully within Akihito’s arms. A lance of pain flashes through his chest. He’s imagined cradling the babies countless times, just like this. FeiLong buried them under the cassia* tree. 

But no. That can’t be. They should be here, right here. Shouldn’t they? Are they really in the ground? No, that can’t be right. 

“Where are they?” Akihito buries his hands into the fluff of his stuffie. Where did they go? Everything feels so close yet so far away. A washed away fantasy. Everything’s been feeling simpler and simpler over the past few weeks. Like a dream he’s woken up from a few minutes ago that he’s already forgetting.

“Where’s what, Aki-chan?” Suzuki titters, setting out a small bowl and chopsticks. 

He rubs his belly. “Where are they? Why aren’t they here? Did they go away?” There should be two little heartbeats right here, right? Or did he imagine them, too?

Suzuki slowly sets down the breakfast prepared. Measures his steps, encroaching closer to Akihito. “Aki-chan.” Every word is heavy. “Do you remember what happened before you came to Japan?”

He nods. He remembers. It all feels like it’s not real. Is it real? Which parts did he imagine, in the murkiness and desperation and overflowing red horror of night, and which parts are true? He’s not sure. It doesn’t really matter. It’s over. 

It’s all over. It has to be over, right?

Suzuki blinks, slow and long. When the man opens his eyes again, he takes Akihito from Kirishima and settles the boy on his hip. “Yeah, Aki-chan. They went away. That’s why you’re going to the doctor’s today. We were supposed to go yesterday, but you just fell asleep! You must have been tired, huh?”

Yes. Akihito was tired. He is tired. The blond nods into Suzuki’s neck, crushing Teremok between their chests. “I’m tired, Suzu.” His hips hurt.

“I know, buddy. Why don’t you take a nap? I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

Akihito wanted to go outside so badly what seemed like eons ago. He doesn’t care about going outside anymore. He’s tired in a way he knows a nap won’t help. He closes his eyes anyway.

“Good boy, Aki-chan.”

**

“...rooting reflex seems healthy and diminishing. Human infants start to have a diminishing rooting and suckling reflex at around six months, but his other responses mark him nearer to a year old…”

Akihito wakes to brushes on the soles of his feet, the hollow of his cheek. A finger gently wedges inside his lips and tickles the roof of his mouth. His lips automatically create a suction. 

He drifts back to warmth. There are a few pinches in his thighs and arm. He whines, snuffling and a hand pats his hair. Something warm and chewy replaces the finger. When he sucks, sweet milky mixture squirts into his mouth. 

His eyes fly open. He’s on a raised bed? In an all-white room. There are lots of posters featuring anthropomorphized animals with inspirational quotes like “Say Cheese!” or “Totally Nuts!” The entire room is pastel. There’s a nursing bottle with a rubber nipple wedging between his lips. There’s a deep red plastic tube running down his arm.

“Shh, Aki-chan.” Suzuki rubs strong circles into his belly. “We’re at the doctor’s office. Say hi to the nice sensei.”

The doctor is a middle-aged woman with graying hairs and perpetual smile lines. Her face seems like she’s spent a lifetime smiling and laughing. She seems kind. Her aura, sunshine on skin, makes him feel like he’s glowing. It feels nice. Warm. Safe. She’s taking his blood. For what?

“Wahgh.” He flops over, buries his face into Teremok, and closes his eyes, still suckling on the warm milk. Sleep is so comfortable. 

Light laughter. “... supposed to be sleeping this much?” Some cloth is moving. Akihito unfurls his wings and sighs, stretching them out then relaxing to fold back into him. His fingers curl around the bear’s soft fur.

“...owls separated from their comfort object or their caregivers die within days...die if the temperature difference…”

“Akihito, wake up.” Asami gently taps his shoulder. “Sensei wants to play a game with you.”

Groggily, Akihito unseals his lips from the nipple, wiping away the spit with his sleeve. There’s no tube hanging from his arm now, just a small penguin-themed bandaid. Game? What game is it? 

His thighs hurt. Furrowing his brows, he funnels golden sparkles to his muscles, healing the hurt. Why didn't he heal himself earlier?

The doctor crouches so she’s eye level with him. “Want to play a fun game, Aki-chan?” A hand emerges from behind her back, holding a palmful of peeled and pitted lychees. “If you play, you can win these.” The woman smiles.

Akihito searches the room. Suzuki is to his right, hand on his shoulder. Kirishima is looking over some paper on a plexiglass kitten themed clipboard. There’s another man, large and blond and with shadowy eyes at the door. Akihito met that man before. Asami stands to his left, and nods. 

So Akihito holds a hand out. “Taste test?”

Sensei’s lips stretch and her shoulders shake a bit. “Okay, just one, Aki-chan. You can eat the rest later after the game ends.”

Akihito nods. “ _ Just _ one?”

“Just one.”

Akihito plucks a lychee lightning-fast, so quickly the posters on the walls and sensei’s lab coat flap. He plops the fruit into his mouth, crooning. Juicy! Sweet!

“Ready to play?”

Akihito nods, eyes beaming, cheeks full. 

“Alright! You and I are going to have a competition. Do as best as you can. I’ll do a pose, and I want you to copy me, got it?”

That’s easy. Akihito’s got it, no doubt. Is this it? He looks at Asami and Suzu. The men smile reassuringly at him.

“And, start!”

Sensei sits on the floor, legs straight and together. She leans over and grasps at her toes. 

“You go, Aki-chan!”

Akihito twists and copies Sensei, head resting between his knees, wrists effortlessly crossing beneath his heels. Somewhere behind him, Suzuki wheezes.

“Huh, was that an easy one, I’ll do a harder one.” The doctor pretend-grumbles, exaggerating her pout. She flips to her back and uses her palms to push up into a c-shaped backbend for a split second before collapsing. “I bet you can do it so much better than little old me, Aki-chan!”

Akihito bobbles his head and slides down the padded examination table. Standing, feet together, hands clasped and arms straight, he bends his shoulders all the way behind and then his back, easing into a backbend. When his hands are almost to the floor, he instead wraps his fingers onto the shins of his straight legs. 

“Whoa, Aki-chan! You’re definitely winning. We have a few more poses. You think you can do them?”

Akihito untwists to stand and nods, chirping. He wants those lychees. They’re juicy! And sweet. He likes them. And the doctor’s nice, too.

The blond opens his arms at Suzuki. “Suzu, up.” He wants to be on the table thing again. It’s higher up. Perching on high things soothes something inside him. 

Suzuki obediently picks Akihito up and onto the table. The blond immediately squirms out to Teremok. In his haste to reunite with his bear, he tips off the table. Suzuki reaches for him, but the man is too far. Sensei yells, and Asami runs, arms out, trying to catch him even though he’s halfway across the room. 

In midair, Akihito’s spine twists so that all four limbs face downward and his wings shoot out, arching downwards as if to catch some nonexistent wind. He lands on his toes, crouching, one hand on the floor between his knees and wings billowing above him like parachute canopies. 

His other hand holds Teremok. Cuddling the bear to his face, Akihito looks to Sensei. “Lychee? Please?”

“Sure, Aki-chan.” Sensei shakily nods. “I guess you won!”

Akihito loves lychees. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Legend has it that there is a cassia tree on the moon that can be used to make a drug that grants immortality. Osmanthus/cassia flowers bloom in the 8th lunar month, which is when FeiLong had Akihito and gave him the twins.


	3. Origin Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t like it here. It’s scary. It hurts.” He whispers. Another confession. Take him home where he truly belongs: one with the air, ash scattered to the winds over the seven seas. He’ll be free. 
> 
> “I don’t belong here. Take me home, take me home, home, pleasepleasepleaseplease-”
> 
> Asami sighs. “I’m sorry, Aki-chan.”

Akihito and the doctor play more games. The blond has to blow into a plastic container with a tiny pinwheel inside. He has to balance on smaller and smaller things. He’s sure he’s won all the games. His plum stained lips and lychee-juice sticky chin would agree with him. 

Sensei also likes his wings. Sensei wants to touch his wings and asks him all sorts of questions. 

At the end, Akihito gets tired and turns his head away when Sensei asks questions. It was fun, but Aki doesn’t want to see Sensei anymore. So he buries his face into Suzuki and ignores everyone else. Sensei then takes a big blanket and tightly swaddles Akihito into it, showing Asami and Suzuki step by step, mentioning something about kangaroos being better. Why do they need to know how to swaddle him? He can swaddle himself just fine. 

The adults talk for a few moments more, and then Akihito’s drifts back to sleep.

**

“You were a good boy, Aki-chan. Thanks for behaving.” Akihito is back at Asami’s penthouse, lying on the floor, fingers sticky with plum juice. Everyone’s been plying Akihito with food after the doctor’s visit. 

His dream was some weird familiar-unfamiliar. Like a mirror, tilted sideways. Everything is the same, but flipped. Like he was expecting something and got something shifted a step to the left.

It was FeiLong and Asami. No surprise there. But instead of Yoh, there was another man. That other man loves FeiLong. Loved? He doesn’t know. It’s a half-remembered thing by now.

But the thing that he keeps thinking about is how maniacal that man was. Like that man wanted to possess FeiLong, mind, body and soul. Devour him in the guise of love. He feels devoured. It leaves him unsettled.

The maw yawns wider.

He sniffles. 

“Blow, Aki.” Suzu holds a tissue in front of his nose. Akihito blows into the paper, grimacing when Suzuki wipes away the sleep snot. 

“Good job, Aki!”

Blowing his nose makes him feel so much better. The blond beams. He can breathe through his nose! For now. “Yay! Aki did a good blow job!”

“Yep, you sure did, buddy. Now let’s get these hands washed.”

Kirishima, in the kitchen making yet more food, coughs. Glasses have been coughing lots quite recently. Maybe he’s sick?

“Glasses sick?”

“No, honey. Kirishima-san is not sick.”

“Kay.”

Akihito doesn’t want to get up. Suzuki sighs and lifts him from the floor to the sink, the blond’s legs splayed around the older’s hip in a front-side piggyback.

After Suzuki dries Akihito’s hands, Asami walks over with a tape measurer and wraps it around the blond’s wrist, just above his BaiShe tattoo. 

“We can get rid of it, Akihito. Do you want to get rid of it?”

Get rid of a tattoo? Aren’t tattoos permanent? “Does it hurt? Is it scary?”

Asami stares at Akihito, searching for something. Resentment, maybe? “It will hurt, but only for a little while.”

The blond shakes his head. “No. That’s scary!”

“You can go under for it.”

At the thought of more drugs, Akihito whines. He doesn’t like how people drug him without him knowing about it. It makes him feel like he’s been betrayed. Like his body betrays him, or that his druggers betray him, or that he betrayed himself.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. I’ll be there with you.” Suzuki bounces Akihito.

Asami nods. “I’ll be there with you too. You have my word.” His lips quirk. 

“That means pinky-promise?”

Asami nods gravely. “That means I pinky-promise to be there, Aki-chan.”

Them there or not, Akihito doesn’t want to hurt. He’s already hurting from the cramps in his stomach. He shakes his head. “I don’t wanna.”

A pause. 

“That’s okay, Aki-chan. If you change your mind, we can always do it later.”

Asami steps closer like he’s approaching a wild animal. Akihito opens his arms in the universal sign for “up”. Suzuki sighs long-sufferingly and hands Akihito off to Asami. 

Kirishima hands a baby bottle to Asami, who feeds the nipple gently over Akihito’s lips until he latches. What’s up with them feeding him out of baby bottles? First the doctor does it and now they do it too?

Akihito’s not complaining, though. This milk is warm and creamy and sugary and chocolatey. The lids of his eyes droop to the rhythmic sucking and swallowing.

“Ready for another nap, little guy?”

Akihito mumbles, making little bubbly noises behind the rubber nipple.

Kirishima measures out more water. “Suzuki. I’ll make more oat milk and put it in the back of the top shelf of the fridge. Heat it for two minutes on medium beforehand. Test the temperature with a dab to your wrist.”

“Yes, Kirishima-san. Thank you.”

“He only needs one more atole feeding today, around 20:00. He needs his asthma medication at 18:00. I’ve set a timer to remind you.”

Suzuki cranes his neck closer to Akihito’s cheek. “He’s a mother hen, isn’t he, Aki-chan?” Suzu whispers, not so quietly.

Kirishima sears Suzuki’s soul with a laser glare. Akihito can imagine Suzuki’s soul leaving his body right then and there. “I have ears, Suzuki. Do not shirk your responsibilities.”

Asami chuckles.

Done the avena, Akihito unlatches and Asami takes the bottle. 

The blond bodyguard from before knocks on the door. Kirishima receives a package from him and hands it to Asami. Asami nods in thanks and opens the box carefully. 

It’s a bracelet? With a snake around a cane. The other side of the metal catches light. It’s engraved. 

ASTHMA

ALBUTEROL, 2 PUMPS

ICE: ASAMI RYUICHI 0xx-xxx-xxxx

“Keep this on you at all times, Akihito. It’s very important. Can you promise me to never take it off?” Asami slides it on and it latches smoothly onto the boy’s wrist, slipping two fingers under the metal to check for tightness. The bracelet is silver and cold and slim, but warming up quickly. 

Akihito nods. Extends his pinky. Asami crooks his lips and hooks his pinky to the boy’s. It’s an easy promise to make. The latch is designed to take two hands to undo the locking mechanism. Just from looking at it, he knows he won’t be able to open it himself. 

“Good boy, Aki-chan.”

“Aki-chan good? Really?”

Asami leans closer. Whispers. “Do you want to know a secret?” The blond nods, bobbing his head up and down. “You’re always a good boy. Always. No matter whatever other people might tell you.”

Akihito’s eyes widen. That’s a lie. Asami, like FeiLong, believes his own lie. Akihito wants to choke on his own spit, to meld into the air. He’s not good. Why can’t anyone see? He’s not good. He’s a monster, a terrible monster, a murdering monster…

“Here, Aki-chan.” Asami hands him an owl stuffed animal. The flannel feathers are pure white. “He’s called Akihito. He’s got wings like you.”

The boy squeezes the owl in his hands. The bird’s eyes are blue. The same exact shade as his. 

“How is Akihito feeling right now, Aki-chan?”

That’s easy. “Akihito knows he’s a bad boy. Bad boys don’t deserve to live. Akihito needs to die.” Aki-chan shifts so his hand is across the owl’s throat. He clamps down and squeezes on the stuffed animal. 

A fierce hatred for the owl burns through the blond. He doesn’t know where it comes from. He’s just met the owl for the first time a few seconds ago. But he hates the owl with all his being. He  _ hates  _ it. 

Kirishima, on his way out, pauses. Then closes the door. The click of the lock seems like a finality.

Asami mouths something. Suzuki bows and busies himself in the kitchen, keeping an eye on the incubus.

His wings are itchy. “Ryu-ryu, take it off.” He tugs on his shirt.

A pause. Asami recovers and carries them to his bed, settling Akihito on his lap. Akihito’s thighs splay on both sides of the businessman's hips, and he’s quickly stripped of his shirt and pants. Before he knows it, he’s naked and Asami’s shirtless. 

Akihito stretches out his wings. Downy feathers float down onto the floor. The muscles are hot and heavy and itchy. 

He shakes out his wings. More feathers fall off. In some places, pink skin can be seen.

It’s so itchy Akihito wants to scream. So he pushes Asami into the sheets. When the man’s back hits the fabric, Akihito buries his face into the chest and does scream. It’s the half-gasping, half-shrieking thing children do. 

“Shh, Aki-chan. Your daddy’s here. You’re a good boy.”

Aki clutches to Akihito tighter. Where did they go? The pulses of life that were in his belly. Where did they go? His chest hurts.

He knows he knows the answer. Aki knows it happened. They-they-. No. No. So where did they go?

Maybe he’s so bad they went away. They hate him, too. Why wouldn’t they? He couldn’t keep them safe. He kills everyone he meets. It’s no wonder why he’s killed them too. 

Red, red, red red redredredred dripping everywhere until it’s the only thing. It’s warm, thick, all over him. All over him and his babies. All over him and every life he’s taken. Murderer, monster, beast. He knows he’s not human. He’s not a person. This is fact. 

Red. Red. Red.

Drip. Drip. Drip. To the tempo of the heartbeat. Drop. Drop. Drop. Another one dead. Another. Another. Gunshots, ringing in the air. Salty sweat. Iron. Warm, then cold. Cold flames, everywhere. It’s so cold.

When will it be him? He knows he’s on borrowed time. He’s slipping. Silly. He’s always slipping down, down, down the ravenous cavern until there’s nothing left of him. Haha. There wasn’t anything of him in the first place, anyway. 

What’s there to mourn?

Where are they? WhEre ARe tHeY?  _ WheRE aRe ThEy? WHERE ARE THEY?  _ **_WHERE ARE-_ **

“They’re dead.” Asami croons, slow and far away. “Don’t you remember?”

But of course. FeiLong buried them under the cassia tree. Why didn’t he remember.

“Because you’re being useless again. Look at you, quivering, crying like a worm.”

Aki can’t argue with the truth. Akihito’s always been like this. What can he do, what can he do to repent? To wipe the slate clean, so he can maybe be good? He’s a necrosis. He can’t help it. But he can help it. It’s him. He’s the one that’s poisoning everything. 

It always comes back to full circle. He laughs. The same, simple solution looking him in the face. He’s always been a coward, not trying hard enough to ever be successful. Everything else was just excuses. Look at him. Pitiful, little him. 

Akihito’s known the answer all along. He’s realised it before so many times. Maybe this time he can finally do the right thing. The one right thing he can do in his useless life.

“Talk to me, Aki-chan.” Asami whispers, low and urgent. “What is going through your head?”

The blond tries to stop crying. His body doesn’t listen. His breaths hitch and carry. “Aki bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad bad badbadbadbadbad-” He throws Akihito the Owl into the pillow. “Where did they go? Why did they leave? I’m sorry, Aki sorry-”

“Aki-chan is a good boy. A very, very good boy. Always good.” Asami murmurs into his feathery mess of hair, over his half-delirious confessions. “What are you sorry about?”

“They’re gone. They’re gone because I killed them. Like how snake man tried to devour FeiLong. I devour. And I devoured them. It’s all red, red, red now, isn’t it?”

“Who did you kill? Does Akihito know?” Asami encourages.

The blond laughs. It’s high and long and unhinged. In the kitchen, Akihito spies Suzuki’s hair raise, like witnessing a wolf howl at the full moon. The bodyguard is no longer playing at preparing food. 

“You know who I’ve killed. A life for a life, but it’s already too much. I can’t pay it back, can I? What do I do? What do I do, Ryu-ryu?”

He sobs into the body below him. He smells iron. He’s dripping red on Asami. Red, red, red. It’s all red. The girl. The drunk man. Takahashi. Uncle Yura. Countless other bodies, other lives. Red, red, red, they all turn red...

Whispers. “What do I do? What- what do I  _ do _ ?”

“I don’t understand.”

Oh, where to begin. Where to begin? It’s all muddled now. Nothing seems real.

“Aki-chan, tell me. Explain. What do you mean?” 

Suzuki is by the doorway, stance ready. To protect Akihito or to protect Asami, he doesn’t know. 

“One day, she fell. No. I pushed her down. It was an accident! And she fell. So I went down, too. And she was red, so red. 

And then I woke up. I woke up here, where there were so many people and the air is so thick it’s hard to breathe. I couldn’t go back up. And nobody cared. Nobody cared that she fell, and I fell too.

But then wherever I touched, there was red. I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I tried so hard, but it always happened. And then Fei stole me away. And then Misha stole me, too. And now I’m yours, aren’t I?”

Aki heaves a breath out. He doesn’t wait for Asami to respond. 

“It hurt. It hurt so much. They’re not here. I can’t feel them here. I’m so scared, I just want to go back up. Please take me home. You said I’m a good boy. FeiLong said you could take me home.”

Akihito wipes the wetness of his eyes onto the sternum. Onto Asami’s ever-beating heart. He just wants to go back to the rooftop, before everything went to hell, and kill himself. Hah. Full circle. 

He wants to go back to before he knows he’s a monster in not just soul, but in body as well. Before he was bounced up and around until he had no home, not even what seemed like home before. Nothing is the same now.

“Please,  _ take me back up there!” _

“Oh, Aki-chan.” Suzuki breathes. 

“I don’t like it here. It’s scary. It hurts.” He whispers. Another confession. Take him home where he truly belongs: one with the air, ash scattered to the winds over the seven seas. He’ll be free. 

“I don’t belong here. Take me home, take me home, home, pleasepleasepleaseplease-”

Asami sighs. “I’m sorry, Aki-chan.”

Akihito’s tired.

**

  
  
  


ZhuaZhou (first birthday ceremony)

Interlude/Extra

**

When Akihito was sleeping, FeiLong and Yoh came to visit. Right after Asami woke him up, he found himself in the middle of the carpet. For some reason they spread out lots of weird things across the floor, like abacuses and pens and coins and fruit. 

Asami walks away and watches from afar. He hears Suzuki putting away the laundry.

What’s happening? Akihito’s groggy and tired. He registers that FeiLong and Yoh are silent and almost anticipatory. 

He hasn’t seen FeiLong and Yoh in so long. They’re here. What are they here?

Oh, well. That doesn’t matter. Akihito wants Yoh.

The blond yawns and crawls forward. He can feel the thickness of the tension in the air.

Someone chokes as Akihito bypasses all the toys and instead reaches for Yoh’s pants, tugging on the ironed cloth and entwining his limbs onto the leg. It smells the same as always: like old books, like rain on a windowpane, like a fire in a hearth. “Yoh-Yoh! Up?”

FeiLong muffles snickers into his long-sleeved changshan. 

Yoh picks Akihito up gently and slowly, as if reverent of him. Pah. What’s there to be reverent about?

“Happy birthday, Aki-chan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. Fluff. Fluff. ANGST


	4. In the end, it doesn't matter the truth. It matters the consequences.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay.” And the boy wastes no time in setting Teremok to sit upon the mats. “Let’s play!” He grins at everyone and runs towards the massive jungle gym. He taps Suzuki, yelling. “Tag! You’re it!”

The next morning, right after his new long-term asthma medication, Asami says that there’s a surprise. Asami has to go to work after the surprise, though. So the man bundles Akihito up in a swaddling blanket, the rubber of the glass baby bottle firmly tucked in the boy’s lips, and carries him into a building called Sion. 

There are air purifiers in every room and hallway here, just like at the penthouse. Akihito didn’t notice it before, but now that he does, he can’t unsee it. It’s the same brand Misha used, the same brand FeiLong used after his first asthma attack. They all use the same model of corner pads, child locks, tear-proof shampoo and soap. It’s the same five brands of “allergy-free” clothes, the same design of the scald-free switch in the bathtub, the same lactose-free and soy-free food products.

It’s like everything was passed along from one kidnapper to another, like parents conspiring tips and tricks. 

“Why won’t you take me home?” Akihito tries again, miserably, after he finishes the bottle. His face is still swollen from crying himself to sleep last night.

Asami gives him the same answer as last time, bouncing him as they approach what sounds like 50 men grunting and heaving. “I’m sorry, Aki-chan.” 

Suzuki appears from somewhere. “Don’t be so sad, Aki-chan. You’re going to be able to let loose and play. Won’t that be fun?”

“Play?”

“Yeah! Today you can play and make some friends. Are you excited?”

Despite Suzuki’s smiling demeanor, Akihito’s still petulant. He tries to hide how he perks up with meeting new people. He hasn’t met lots of new people since that fateful day he was kidnapped.

“Before we leave today, I need you to choose 6 friends that you would like to spend lots of time with, Aki-chan.”

“Why?”

Asami wastes no time sugarcoating it. Akihito appreciates it. He’s not dumb. “They’re to be your guards, Aki-chan. They’ll be with you at all times. Kirishima and Suoh and I will be busy sometimes, and can’t be with you.”

Oh. That makes sense. Nobody has all day to be with him. Even Suzuki is busy doing something else half the time, and Suzuki stays with him the most.

The sliding door opens to a large, padded dojo. There’s a rock wall on the right, and what looks like an urban jungle gym on the left. The ceiling must be six stories tall, and there are safety nets under the rafters. 

There are a dozen men and a woman, all in suits, pausing what looks like sparring and bowing towards Asami.

“Asami.” Kirishima intones. Was he briefing the people beforehand?

“Kirishima.” Asami nods. “Okay, Aki-chan. This is your time to have fun. I’ll be here until 10, but take as much time as you want.”

Asami crouches down and sets him feet-first onto the tatami mats, handing him Teremok. Akihito doesn’t want to stand, so he just sits. 

“Is this because you feel bad that you can’t take me home?”

Asami pauses. Something dark must have shown on the businessman's face, because Suzuki hastens. “Aki-chan, I’m really sorry. But nobody can take you home.”

The blond clutches Teremok. “But-but why?”

Suzuki sighs. “We just can’t, Aki-chan. Nobody can take you back up there.” Akihito’s close to tears. “But just because we can’t take you back up there doesn’t mean it’s not possible! Maybe you can find a way yourself one day, huh, Aki-chan?”

That doesn’t make him feel any better.

“And besides! It won’t be so bad. Your Suzu will be here, alright?”

“And I will be here, Aki-chan.” Asami intones. “We can talk about this later, honey. Why don't you play and make some friends? Feel free to let loose.”

“Don’t burn the dojo down, though, buddy.” Suzuki interjects.

Akihito doesn’t want to talk about it later. He wants to talk about it now. But he supposes that they’re not going to tell him anymore, so he might as well play. 

His clothes now have zippered or buttoned slits on the back. They just appeared. Suzuki or Kirishima must have modified them. “Unbutton?” He asks. 

“Sure, Aki-chan.” Asami leans down and unlatches the buttons on the two slits on the back of his cat-embroidered shirt. 

“Thank you, daddy.” He murmurs as he unbuttons Teremok’s wing slits so the bear can be free too. 

Asami freezes for a split second. Kirishima adjusts his glasses. Suzuki mouths, “Daddy?” incredulously. 

Akihito pretends to not notice. Adults, seriously. They’re ridiculous. 

“Go on, Aki-chan.” Asami recovers, lightly pushing Akihito towards the men. And woman. “At ease.” The man barks to the suited people. 

As if a switch is pulled, the men and woman relax like puppets after a show and smile towards Akihito.

“Aren’t you a handsome little guy?” A tall man crouches down to eye-level. “My name is Yamamoto Yuta. You can call me Yuta.”

They all make their respective introductions. Asami broods in the corner near the mirrors, eyes sharp while conversing quietly with Kirishima. Akihito likes the woman. She looks particularly kind.

His hips hurt a bit less than yesterday and the day before, and he’s starting to forget about it.

“How old are you, Aki-chan?”

Before he can open his mouth, Suzuki responds for him. “He just turned a year old, isn’t that right, Aki-chan?”

The blond nods twice. Yes, it has been more than a year since that fateful day. Suzuki means that it’s been a year since he’s turned into a monster in not just mind, but body.

“Wow, so you’re a big boy!” Haruto, a brown-eyed man exclaims. 

“Mnh hm! I’m a big boy!”

Suzuki interrupts. “Aki-chan, don’t you want to go play?”

Akihito really wants to go up the jungle gym and perch on the rafters. But the last time he perched on something, Suzuki beat his butt like the flames of hell descended on it. 

“Won’t you get mad if I play?” 

The man finally understands. “Oh, no sweetie. That was only because it wasn’t safe on the railing. Here there’s safety nets and lots of padding. See?” Suzuki presses on the floor. “If you fall, you won’t die.”

Akihito nods. So… it’s okay?

“Promise?”

“Yeah. I promise I won’t get mad, buddy.”

“Okay.” And the boy wastes no time in setting Teremok to sit upon the mats. “Let’s play!” He grins at everyone and runs towards the massive jungle gym. He taps Suzuki, yelling. “Tag! You’re it!”

Suzuki yells in indignation and he hears a dozen other pairs of feet swerving to avoid Suzuki. Akihito climbs up and up and up, twisting his body this way and that until he’s halfway to the top. 

Oh no! Suzuki is climbing up too. Akihito climbs up higher and higher until he swings himself on the first rafter. He waits for a second, configuring his balance, and then sprints across the beam. 

Running full force ahead, he whoops. He hasn’t had this much fun in forever. The energy runs through his muscles and fills his bones. He feels so light. What can he do? Oh, what can he do?

The boy spins and laughs. He slides to the edge of the beam until only his toes are balancing him. “COME AND GET ME, FAT SUZU!”

From his vantage point, Suzuki swears up a storm. Akihito sticks out his tongue, imitating preparing for a nap. He yawns, exaggeratedly. He has lots of time. Suzuki is  _ slow _ . 

When Suzuki finally makes it to the start of the beam, Akihito stretches and meanders to the other side of the beam. The giant nets start a fourth of a meter before the rafter ends, and so the drop is straight down six stories. 

Giggling, Akihito throws himself off, body automatically twisting so his legs and arms are facing the ground and wings billowing out the slits, slowing his descent.

“AKIHITO!” Suzuki yells.

But Akihito lands on his haunches without a thump and jumps to his feet without a hitch. “TOO SLOW, FATTY SUZU!” 

“YOU’RE TOO SLOW!” Suzuki retorts. “BECAUSE I’M NOT IT, YAMAMOTO-SAN IS!”

The blond gasps. When did this happen?! He spots Yuta coming straight at him. Akihito shrieks and runs as fast as he can towards the rock wall, dodging and jumping over obstacles as he goes. 

Yuta is five meters away from him when Akihito angles his wings to catch the little draft he can in the room, jumping as high as he can. He gains a meter or two in height to scramble up the rock wall, sucking his plumage back into his shoulders. He quickly gains a meter and then tucks his feet under his chest. 

“Not so tall anymore, huh, shortie Yuta?”

When Yuta starts climbing the walls himself, Akihito launches himself off and into a roll so that he sails right over the man’s grasping hands. The blond pops back into a sprint, looking backwards to make antler-hands at the man. 

“I thought so! Better luck next time, Tiny Yuta!” The blond blows a raspberry kiss at the chuckling man. 

“I won’t be so tiny when I tackle you to the floor, Aki-chan!”

Everyone else is on the mats, now. Oh no, is this a tactic? Are they planning to surround him? 

Seeing no escape, Akihito stomps his foot and stygian blue flames burst into a circle around him. Some suited men flinch backward. He takes no head and plops on the floor, crossing his arms. “Time out! No fair! You guys should be ganging up on fatty Suzu!”

Suzuki walks closer. Each footstep is loud and telegrammed. “Akihito, I told you to not burn down the dojo. Put those flames out, now.”

“But I’m not! See? They’re not spreading. And they’re not burning  _ anything _ .” 

Asami strides to Akihito. 

“Aki-chan,” Asami enunciates, “I think Teremok is feeling a bit lonely right now. You’re all playing and he’s been the side, watching. Why don’t we take a break and eat some sushi with Teremok?”

The businessman steps onto and over the flames to kneel and give the blond the teddy bear. 

Akihito hugs the bear tight to his chest. Ryu-Ryu is right. Teremok must be awfully lonely. And the blond  _ is  _ hungry, now that he thinks about it. 

“Sushi?” The boy lifts his arms for the universal sign of ‘up’. Asami dutifully lifts him up and to the side benches. Indeed, there’s a plate of sushi on a small kneeling table with a vase of roses. The flames extinguish as he’s carried towards the delicious smelling food and he hears some men release the breaths they were holding. 

“Sushi, sushi, sushi!” He sings. 

Asami sets him down before the plate. “I have to go to a meeting, now, Aki-chan. Be good for me.”

“But-!” Akihito just got the sushi. He wants to eat sushi with Teremok and his new friends  _ and  _ Asami. 

“I’ll be back later. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

The blond pouts. “O- _ kay _ .”

“Be a good boy. Behave.” The man pats his hair, messing his braids.

Akihito pouts more but nods his head.

“Good boy.”

Asami rises and takes his leave with Kirishima and Suoh, who was at the door. Suddenly, he doesn’t want sushi anymore.

He counts the pieces. There’s enough for everyone to have two. “Come eat with me and Teremok!” 

All of the men and one woman kneel awkwardly at the table around him. 

“Aki-chan, hands.” Suzuki squirts hand sanitizer onto his palms and rubs Akihito’s hands until they’re dry.

Hands finally ready, Akihito starts placing two pieces of sushi in front of each bodyguard on the table, ending with Suzuki. Suzuki got the last two pieces. 

“Aki-chan, that’s nice of you, but if you share you don’t have enough for yourself.”

Hm? Isn’t that obvious? He’s going to eat the roses.

When Suzuki is busy on the phone with a sushi place, (“Yes, please deliver. No, I don’t want sushi with raw fish. Yes, I know that’s the whole point of sushi. Yes, fifteen orders will be all.”) Akihito reaches for the flowers and plucks the flower buds out. 

“What are you doing with those, Aki-chan?” Sakura twinkles. “They’re pretty, aren’t they?”

Akihito nods. “Yeah! Pretty!” He’s glad someone agrees with him. “C’mon guys, eat. Aren’t you all hungry from losing?” 

They look at each other and start hesitantly eating. Silly adults. Why don’t they eat when they’re hungry?

Once all of the buds are on the table, he stuffs one in his mouth. 

Wow! Crunchy! Akihito likes the floral flavor. But there’s a lot of bitterness. Ew.

“Akihito! Spit that out!”

The word comes out muffled from his full mouth. “Whhhy?” The blond shakes his head and crosses his arms. No! It’s tasty. Ish. Not so tasty, the longer he chews. But just because fatty Suzu doesn’t like it doesn’t mean that other people can’t like it!

Each word sounds measured. “Akihito, spit that out. You have five seconds.”

“Five.”

Akihito chews more.

“Four.”

Akihito swallows.

“Akihito! I said to spit it out! Not swallow it!”

“I got rid of it!” Isn’t that what Suzuki wanted?

“Akihito, the next time I see you eat something that is not labeled as food you’re going to have a sore bottom.”

“No! No spanking! No! No! No!” Akihito shakes his head, but this time it’s filled with fear. He squeezes Teremok. “Teremok says no! You’re being mean!”

Some of the adults are holding back smiles. What is funny about this?

“Then don’t eat something full of pesticides and poison like roses again, okay? And we have a deal.”

Akihito eyes Suzuki suspiciously. “Why can’t I eat the flowers?”

“I just told you, they’re full of pesticides-”

A buzz on Suzuki’s phone. 

“I’m sorry, can someone go to the reception floor? There should be a delivery for sushi.”

Sakura smiles. “Haruki-san and I can. We’ll be right back.”

The woman and a lanky man exit the dojo. Just as the door closes, Akihito hears shrieking laughter. “ATE-” laughter. “The-the-” More laughter. “ROSES!”

The door closes.

“Suzu!” Akihito launches himself at Suzuki, hugging the man and knocking the phone out of the man’s hand. The day’s getting worse and worse. Akihito wants to cry.

“Aw, little guy, what’s up now?”

“The lady-the lady was laughing at me!” Akihito wails into Suzuki. “Take me back. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“But what about your sushi? Don’t you want some?” Suzuki strokes Akihito’s hair, pats his back. 

Akihito shakes his head. 

“Okay, then. But before we go back, you have to choose a few friends to stay with you from now on. We’re not leaving until you choose, little guy.”

Fine. Akihito points to four random people, calling out their respective nicknames as appropriate. Then he points to the door. 

A pause. What’s up with Suzuki and dramatic pauses? Maybe Suzuki is getting old and slow. “You want Sakura-san and Haruki-san?”

Akihito nods into the chest. 

“Are you sure, Aki-chan?”

Akihito nods again.

“You’re a kind child, Aki-chan. Yuta-san, Haruto-san, do you mind doing the first shift and coming with me?”

The men nod. 

Akihito dares to peek beyond Suzuki’s shoulder. “Can I play with the rest of you all later, even if I didn’t pick you?”

“Sure thing, kiddo. You’re a fast one, you’ll keep me on my toes.”

The rest of the men hum in agreement. 

“Okay. Bye-bye, uncles!” And then hides back into Suzuki.

“Looks like you’ve made lots of friends, Aki-chan.” Yuta chuckles. Akihito nods. 

“Let’s go home.” Haruto rubs Akihito’s shoulders. “When we get home, can you show me your favorite toys? I bet they’re super fun.”

Maybe today isn’t such a bad day after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suzuki is primarily a name for girls. It can mean a sea bass. Fatty Suzuki was a poke at fatty tuna. Delicious.
> 
> This was posted as a celebration of my final.


	5. Tout comprendre, c'est tout pardonner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reluctantly, Akihito opens his mouth. The texture of the sushi feels...off, somehow. Not real. But real. It tastes like food. He’s chewing. Everything is background noise.
> 
> “Where did they go, Suzu?”
> 
> Nobody answers.

Akihito dreams of blood and fire and brimstone, of war and falling and flightless wings. When he wakes, Yuta holds his hand and leads him to the kitchen. 

“Had a good nap, little guy?” Yuta asks.

Akihito nods, rubbing sleep from his eyes. 

“What did you dream about?” Haruto teases. “Was it sushi?”

The blond shakes his head. “There was a war. Someone fell from the sky and their wings couldn’t hold them. And there was lots of blood. And fire. It was sad.”

Suzuki sighs. “I know you miss home, buddy. But I can’t bring you back up there. No matter how much you ask, I just can’t bring you back up there. And neither can Asami-sama. Neither can anybody. I’m sorry, Aki-chan.”

“But-but  _ why _ ?” Akihito anguishes. They can take him back up to the rooftop so easily. Why don’t they?

“We just can’t, buddy.” Suzuki pats Akihito’s head. 

“ _ Why _ ? You can do anything. Ryu-Ryu can do anything. So  _ why _ ?”

“Aki-chan, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I can’t do anything. I’m just a person.”

“But you can! You’re lying! You can do everything! So why do you say that?” Why can’t they understand? He just wants to go back. Akihito clings to Suzuki’s clothes, letting the eucalyptus envelop him. 

“Aki-chan.” Yuta interjects. “Adults can’t do everything. Adults are people too, you know.”

“No, no, no, no no no nonono! You’re-you’re all liars! Adults can do anything! Suzu just doesn’t want to take me back because he’s mean!”

“Oh, Aki.” Suzuki crouches down to hug him fully on the kitchen floor. “I’m sorry, little man. I’m not doing it because I’m mean.”

Akihito hitches little sobs into Suzuki, hiding his face. 

“Do you not want to take me back because I’m a monster?” Akihito whispers. He knows he doesn’t deserve to go back. He doesn’t deserve anything. Maybe Suzuki is finally acting like how he should have at the start. The realization sends cold shivers down his spine. He doesn’t feel anything now, but the cold. He’s alright. It’s alright. 

“No, no, no. Aki-buddy, that’s not it. That’s not it at all. It’s not because of me or because of you, you got that? You’re not a monster. You’re perfect, just the way you are, even if you are a bit naughty sometimes. You’re Suzu and daddy’s little Aki-chan, and that won’t change.”

Akihito doesn’t say anything. Haruto is setting up the table while Yuta is washing the pots, pretending that there’s a veneer of privacy.

“How about this: once your flight feathers have grown in and you’ve learned to fly, why don’t you try to find a way back up there, huh? Won’t that be fun? And then you can come back down and visit little old Suzu and daddy once in a while.”

“Really?” His voice is small. He doesn’t believe Suzuki’s words. 

“Really. I pinky-promise, alright Aki-chan? You and Teremok can find your way back up there and then you can tell me all about it. I’ll be wanting lots of stories, you got that?”

Suzuki links his pinky to Akihito’s smaller, trembling one. They shake on it, like it’s an official business deal. 

“Aw, look at you. Let’s get you cleaned up, honey-bear.” Suzuki noncommittal picks him up onto a hip and carries him to the sink, where Yuta is. 

“Hey Aki-chan, come back to me. You’re alright.” Yuta croons as he hands Suzuki a warm wet towel. Suzuki uses it to wipe more aggressively at Akihito’s entire face. 

“C’mon, you’re here, you’re safe.” Akihito nods. Of course he’s here. Of course he’s safe.

“Won’t you be gay, for me Aki-chan?” Suzuki tucks the boy’s wild hair behind his ears, only for the hair to fall forwards again.

Yuta wheezes.

“I’ll drop it off in the laundry.” Haruto grabs the towel. Suzuki mutters a quick thanks. 

“Now who’s ready for some sushi? The doctor said that you shouldn’t be skipping meals, but I guess it can’t be helped. Just make sure to eat more, okay, Aki-chan?” Suzuki sets Akihito down on a kitchen chair, but Akihito doesn’t let his monkey grip go. 

“Okay, okay.” Suzuki sits in the chair instead, letting Akihito’s legs splay onto both sides of the man’s hips. The blond’s toes dangle to brush the floor.

Yuta chuckles. “Shy little guy.” Akihito snuffles deeper into Suzuki. 

“Open up, Aki-chan.” Suzu sings. Akihito turns his head away. 

“Aki-chan, don’t you want to eat with Yuta-san and Haruto-san? Look, we’re all eating.” Suzuki plops sushi into his mouth. “Yummy! Wow, it’s super yummy, Aki-chan.”

Reluctantly, Akihito opens his mouth. The texture of the sushi feels...off, somehow. Not real. But real. It tastes like food. He’s chewing. Everything is background noise.

“Where did they go, Suzu?”

Nobody answers. That’s okay. Yuta and Haruto bow and say goodbye and leave. Sakura and Haruki enter. 

Why are they entering? How much time passed? It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. He feels bad, bad, bad. Where did they go? Wasn’t it just a little while ago when he felt them, kicking in his belly?

“Where did they go, Suzu?” 

Nobody answers, yet again. 

His body feels like not his own. He wants to ruin this body, to destroy it so that nobody would look at him and want him. He’s so… fat. Useless. Weak. Get skinnier, get skinnier, so that he’s half-dead. Nobody would want to fuck a dead person, right?

He’s disgusting, on the inside. He needs to be on the verge of a chasm, so on the verge that everyone would know with one look. He needs his outside to match his inside, his body to fall apart to reflect the monstrosity of his soul.

His body is not his own. He hasn’t eaten a full meal since before being spirited away to Chernobyl. He loves the high that not eating gives him. Like everything can touch him, can grope and tear at him until he’s gone, but nothing will hurt him. Because nothing matters. 

Chernobyl seems like a lifetime away. A far-away dream. Nothing really happened there. Nothing really-

“AKIHITO!” Suzuki is shaking him. 

“Hm?” Akihito groggily moans like he’s waking from a nap. Everything still feels like background noise. It’s just a bit louder now. A bit more in tune. 

“I was calling your name for a bit.”

“Oh.”

“Say hello to Sakura-san and Haruki-san, Aki-chan.”

“Hello Sakura-san, Haruki-san. Please take care of me.”

“What a polite boy.” Haruki demurs. The man is holding back a smile.

Suzuki shifts. “Aki-chan, Sakura-san and Haruki-san will be here for the evening shift. They’re going to watch over you.”

“Thank you, Sakura-san, Haruki-san.”

“No problem, little guy!” Sakura beams. “I’m sorry for laughing at you. That wasn’t nice of me.”

“That’s alright, Sakura-san.” Has it really been just this morning that Sakura was laughing at him? “I already forgot about it.”

His hips ache. His wings are itchy. Why are his hips hurting? How long? Since… oh. Since then.

He turns his head so his mouth rests on the curve of Suzuki’s neck. “Hurts, Suzu.” He doesn’t want to see anyone else. He’s tired. Bare.

“Where do you hurt, Aki-chan?”

Akihito whispers. “Tummy.”

“Oh. Oh, Aki-chan.” Suzuki exhales, a bit shaky. “Still? Do you want some ibuprofen?”

He nods, eyes closed. Everything’s okay. Just not the same. It will never be the same. “Why does it hurt so much? Where did they go? Why did the bad men come and take them away?”

“Oh, Aki-chan. Aki-chan, Aki-chan, Aki-chan.” Suzuki holds Akihito closer. “I’m sorry I didn’t come. I’m sorry I was too late.”

“Why is everyone apologizing?” Nobody did anything wrong. What happened was what happened. It makes no sense that they’re sorry.

“Because if someone hurts you, they’re supposed to apologize.” Sakura declares, like how the grass is green. “And I hurt you. I’m sorry.”

The words phase through him. “You only hurt me a little. Many, many many people hurt me lots and never apologized. It’s okay. But Suzu doesn’t need to apologize. You did what you could. You didn’t need to save me. I’m not useless.”

“No, buddy, I didn’t need to. You’re right. You’re plenty useful, Aki-chan. But adults are supposed to protect their kids. And I didn’t protect you. I’m sorry, Aki-chan. Because I never came when you needed me. I never saved you when you needed saving.”

“That’s silly. I saved myself.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you did.” A long sigh. “Suzu is sorry for not coming in time to save you from the bad men. Suzu is sorry that the bad men took the babies away. Suzu is sorry that you’re still hurting so much. Suzu is sorry that he’s had to ignore you so long and leave you with Yuri. Suzu is sorry for lots of things.”

“Suzu shouldn’t be sorry for so many things.” And then. “I want Yoh.”

“I know. I’m sorry for that too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For what, for whom, must I kill and be killed?
> 
> -Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace


	6. Greek Hellfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Man is such a fool  
> Why are we saving him?  
> Poisoning themselves now  
> Begging for our help, wow!
> 
> Yes I'm quoting Billie Eilish now shush and read like a good little reader

Akihito stares off, eyes unfocused. There’s a strange waft of… energy in the air. Human and animal and  _ life _ -tasting energy. The atmosphere is filling with it, heavier and heavier. So much energy. Like a total combustion, burning, burning, eating everything in its path. The sweet stench of fresh death. 

So many human souls. So many, because he lost control. Yes. He’s familiar with this feeling.

“Aki-chan?”

He startles. “Huh?”

Yuta smiles. “You were giving me the 50-yard stare. Eat some more gyoza.”

Burnt flesh. Cooked meat. Akihito doesn’t want the gyoza anymore. He doesn’t want to eat meat at all. The sight of it makes him sick. It has the same death- _ life  _ energy taint. 

Akhito shakes his head. 

“What were you daydreaming about, Aki-chan?” Inquires Haruto. 

“Burning. So much fire. So many souls, lost control. Why do they pray to God to save them when they destroy what they were given? Actions speak louder than words, you know.”

“What? Aki-chan, what do you mean?”

“It’s burning. People, animals, souls. Oh, what do they do? What can they do, but lie in the grave they dug?”

“Can you explain what you mean?” Suzuki looks at him like he’s gone mad. Maybe he has. Akihito doesn't know. He wouldn’t be surprised if he were. 

Akihito doesn’t try to explain. The fire is still burning, somewhere. Somehow. Somehow, maybe he can help. He’s controlled a fire before, right? He can try. Something. He has to help. So many more souls are dying now, more, more, more. They keep on coming, thickening the air. 

He reaches inside him. Instantly, the room is filled with gold, life energy made visible. The taint is from the window, over the street, across the city. It’s far away. Farther away than Akihito’s ever dreamed. But Akihito preserves. There are more and more souls slipping away, slipping into the void. 

He feeds, large gulps, from the freely flowing energy. There’s too much energy. He can only take so much, so many souls. He’s taken, what? What feels like the energy of fifty lives. So many lives. His appetite has grown, it seems. His cavern has opened it’s maw wider. What is going on?

Sweat beads at his brow as he concentrates on following the thick smoke. He feels the cold tendrils of fire lick at his skin. Over Japan he goes. He focuses, harder, harder. Over the sea he goes. Just a bit more. A little bit more. C’mon, c’mon, Akihito. Don’t lose focus.

It’s a lifetime of following, of muttering assurances under his breath. Over the ocean he follows, little by little, breath by breath, step by step. The smoke of souls is so thick he doesn’t know which way more to go. But he trudges forward, on and on, hoping to find the fire. 

He’s faint. He knows his body is gasping for breath, sweat maring his face, muscles trembling. It’s not important. C’mon, c’mon, c’mon. Where are they? Where did they go? Please, no more souls, no more last desperate cries etched into flickering, floating souls. No more suffering, no more pain. 

Where are they?

Oh.  _ Oh _ .

No wonder.

When natural fire meets incubus hell-fire, the two forces explode, raging into a fire tornado. Unstoppable. Fierce beyond comprehension. Indomitable, swallowing up more and more.

C’mon, Aki. Control it. Control, control, control. No more deaths. No more deaths, please. Please.

Akihito thinks of Suzuki’s hugs, of Yoh rubbing his back, of FeiLong tucking him in. Of hearing the waves lap in and out, in and out, a millennium of give and take, as he waited to die in Cherenboyl’s ship headquarters.

He’s just a little boy, isn’t there someone else who can help? Who knows what they’re doing? 

But there isn’t anybody else. There’s just him. 

There’s just him. So it’s just him. Just him and his plan. Be brave. He inhales. Be brave.

Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. How did it go again?

Oh. Yes. Yes. Please, work. 

Akihito spreads his flames, taking over the swathes of land devoured by natural fire. It’s long, hard work. It takes a lifetime. Two. Time seems to tick slower and slower, until it doesn’t march on at all. C’mon, Aki. C’mon.

Control, control, control. What would the practice be worth if he can’t control it now? Lower the flames. Breathe in. Out. Pull in. Push out. Take away the fuel, starve the flame. Smother, smother, smother death with life.

For long, heart-stopping moments, the flames arch higher. But then they lower. Little by little, Akihito surrounds the flames and shields unburnt land and people with his own life energy. A barrier of blue-black, invisible other than a slight reflection in the flames. 

Protect. There’s animals, hurt. Their lungs, scarring. People, tipping the limbo of undeath-unlife.. Protect, heal. Breathe life back into life. Breathe life back into death.

Akihito breathes. And falls.

**

“Eighty-three people are confirmed dead as of this week...”

Akihito groans. Every atom feels stretched and dislocated. Someone turns off the TV. A sudden shift in movement, in front of his face.

“Aki-chan?”

It’s Asami. Yuta and Haruto putter anxiously in the kitchen. Suzuki is aggressively folding laundry, perking up when the man hears Asami’s question.

He groans again. 

“Suzu’s sorry he dosed you on too much ibuprofen. I know you’re sensitive to drugs, Aki-chan-”

“Fire.” He rasps out. Is the fire out? There’s too much ringing in his ears. It’s distracting.

“What?” 

“Did you dream of fire, Aki-chan?” Asami murmurs. The man is a blob, focusing in and out. His vision swims.

The blond nods. Opens his mouth to reply. But then he has to throw himself over the bed. He vomits the single gyoza and sushi he’s managed to swallow down. Everything else is water bile.

Ugh. He feels terrible. 

“Aki-chan, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Aki-chan.”

Haruto tuts and starts cleaning the mess on the floor. Suzuki wipes warm towels over Akihito’s face. 

The blond can’t manage more than a bob. He heaves and heaves. It hurts. His torso, his head, his hips. Everything still hurts. His wings are an itchy inferno, fluttering behind him. 

“Hrts.”

“Aw, I know, buddy.”

“Want Yoh.”

“I know, buddy. I know.”

Suzuki carries Akihito to the bathroom, filling the tub and testing the water every few seconds. Akihito inhales great lungfuls of steam. Rolls the taste of vomit in his mouth.

“Swish, buddy.” Suzuki hands Akihito a warm cup of water. After swishing and spitting, the man undresses the boy and gently submerges him in the bath.

Akihito hears Yoh’s tinny voice from under a mountain of cotton balls. “Yoh?” 

“Yoh’s here, Aki-chan.” Asami enters the bathroom and puts Yoh on speakerphone.

“...had him chloroformed for a minute and a half to bring him in. He didn’t wake until six days later, and even then, he was still under. Shaky pulse, shortness of breath, blue skin, the works. He was on the edge for a while. But if he threw up, that’s good. He’ll get better from here on out.”

“Yoh-Yoh!” Akihito squeals, syllables slow and thick. 

“Aki-chan? Are you behaving?” Yoh’s voice reverberates in the bathroom. 

Wow. Yoh’s really big. Akihito nods exaggeratedly, splashing clumsily and slapping his hand against the water, suddenly fascinated with the wetness. He’s wet all over!

The movement makes him a bit nauseous, but it’s a lot better than before. 

“...likely won’t remember this.” Yoh continues. 

“Yoh-Yoh! Yoh-Yoh!” Suzuki pats him on the head with lots of shampoo. 

“I’m here, buddy.”

Akihito quietens. Yoh’s here. Everything will be better. Akihito misses Yoh. “Miss you, Yoh-Yoh.”

A sigh. “I do too, Aki-chan.”

“Miss you lots! Miss you and Fei.”

There’s some shuffling in the background. Yoh’s talking to someone else, and then gets back on the phone. “How about this. If your daddy’s okay with it, maybe FeiLong and I can visit someday. Okay, Aki-chan? Does that sound good?”

Akihito nods. 

“Aki-chan nodded yes.” Suzuki declares, washing Akihito’s hair clean now. In the water below him, there’s a tiny clump of red.

“When he wakes up, make sure he eats and drinks slowly. His stomach won’t handle normal foods for a while, so start him off on soup. And whenever he’s conscious, encourage him to take from you. That will help him recover faster.”

“Thanks, Yoh.” Suzuki enunciates through Akihito’s flailing. Water! There’s water everywhere!

Suzuki is all wet. Haha. Suzuki gets wetter as the man tries to dry Akihito. Suzuki sighs and just hands him to Asami. 

“Daddy?”

Asami grunts in question. Fluffy towel. He’s warm and sleepy. 

“Why am I alive? Why didn’t you kill me?”

“I wouldn’t have killed you.”

The businessman settles Akihito into his arms on the bed, nudging his finger into the boy’s mouth and itching the roof of his mouth in a ‘come hither’ motion. He starts sucking on the finger, hard. The digit is quickly replaced by rubber, and warm honey water goes down smoothly down his throat. 

The roof of his mouth is now infernally itchy. Sucking makes it better for a moment, and then it gets worse. But he can’t stop sucking, harder and harder.

The bottle is just halfway done when he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? Whoa!
> 
> But honestly, I could have dropped chapters at any time I'm just lazy. I have like 10 chapters ready? I like comments and wait for comments until I update again like a gremlin lmao I have no shame


	7. Mommy and Daddy are Fighting Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FeiLong is mommy and Asami is daddy confirmed

“I’m sorry, Aki-chan. Are you feeling better?” Suzuki asks, fretting as he pushes back a lock of the boy’s hair. 

“Mnh.” Akihito hums. He’s on the kitchen chair, wrapped tightly in a blanket. Suzuki is feeding him soup slowly, spoonful by the spoonful while Asami watches on. Yuta and Haruto guard the door. For what, Akihito doesn’t know. 

The doorbell rings. Asami answers it. Fei and Yoh walk in. 

“Yoh-Yoh! FeiFei!” Akihito warbles, flapping Teremok as he waves his hands. He’s bouncing out of his seat.

FeiLong is carrying a giant pot. It smells like a traditional medicine shop. Ew.

“Hello, Aki-chan.” FeiLong purrs. He sways to Akihito, hypnotic step by hypnotic step. The long cloth of his robe sashays prettily. 

Yoh toes his shoes off and nods to Asami, also making a beeline towards Akihito.

The pot makes a clunk on the stove, heavy and thick. Suzuki gets up to retrieve a ladle and a fresh bowl. FeiLong starts the clicking thing to get a fire. The fire is blue.

“FeiFei! Yoh-Yoh!” He repeats. He can’t believe they’re here. 

“How are you, Aki-chan?” Yoh asks, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I slept lots. And now I’m awake! Did you know yesterday I made new friends? They’re called Sakura and Haruto and Yuta and-”

“Slow down, Aki-chan. Did you make new friends? And what have you got here?”

Akihito points to his bowl. He is drinking soup. “How are you?” He asks Yoh. “How are you!” He asks FeiLong. He’s polite.

“I’m good, Aki-chan.” They both say. Suzuki coughs.

Akihito regales them about Teremok’s adventures and him playing with his new friends yesterday. They nod and are appropriately grave. Then he says, “Ryu-Ryu is mean. He won’t take me back home.”

“What do you mean, Aki-chan?” FeiLong puzzles, eyebrows raised.

Suzuki interrupts. “What he means is that adults can do anything. And so Asami can take him back up into the sky. But we said we can’t, so we’re being mean on purpose.”

FeiLong’s mouth opens a bit, like the pieces of a puzzle are coming together. 

“What’s home like?”

Akihito thinks back to the rural town. “Fewer people. And the air’s lighter. You can actually breathe there!”

“That’s very nice, Aki-chan.”

Once he starts thinking of home, he can’t stop talking about it. He misses it so much. “I have a mommy and a daddy but I don’t remember them. I wish they visited more, but they’re so busy. I have an auntie who looks after me, though! She’s very nice. But I haven’t seen her since a long, long time.”

“There were lots of animals and plants! Trees and blue and green as far as you can see. Not like here. There’s barely any air to breathe here! And there’s not much green here, either.”

“Sounds like you miss your home a lot, Aki-chan.” Yoh rebundles Akihito into the blanket. “Fei’s soup is ready. Do you want to taste it?”

Hm? Soup? But hasn’t he just been eating soup? Why did Fei bring soup?   
  


“Why did FeiFei bring soup? Why are you visiting?” 

“You missed us.”

“What, I did? How did you know?” Akihito asks, eyes wide. Did they read his mind?

FeiLong chuckles. “Oh, I just know.” The man winks at Asami and Asami glowers back. The BaiShe leader ladles out a steaming, fat portion that almost can’t fit into the bowl. “Drink up, Aki-chan.” 

The bowl is pushed towards him. It smells like a medicine cabinet.

Akihito tentatively takes a sip. And then hacks it out. It’s hot! And spicy. And strong. Akihito doesn’t like it.

He shakes his head and snakes his hands back under the blanket. No thanks!

“You don’t want to drink it?”

He nods his head. 

“Is it too hot?”

He nods.

FeiLong gracefully sits beside Akihito and starts to braid his messy hair. Yoh retrieves the bowl and dumps the contents into another bowl. The man blows on it. Akihito can spot a gun on Yoh’s side when the man was rummaging in the cupboards. It’s like a banana!

Yoh dips a finger in and returns to the table. FeiLong pushes the bowl towards him. “You can drink now, Aki-chan.”

He makes a face. Making it cooler doesn’t change that it’s spicy and strong. He can’t smell anything but the soup. By this point, Akihito feels like he’s more soup than Akihito.

Grimacing, he tries again, looking at FeiLong. But it’s just as nasty as last time. He gulps the sip down, trying to smile so his face doesn’t get stuck, but it doesn’t work.

He pouts and crosses his arms, glaring at the soup. He wants the soup Suzuki fed him. That tasted better!

“You don’t want to drink it?”

Akihito nods. Who would want to drink this?

FeiLong’s eyebrows harden. “It’s good for you. Don’t you want to grow up good and strong like me or Yoh? Or your  _ daddy _ ?” For some reason when FeiLong said  _ daddy  _ the air was electrified. Asami opens his mouth, eyes promising death, but then Yoh interrupts. 

“Aki-chan, the soup will make you feel better. You won’t be sick anymore.”

“I’m sick?” Since when was he sick?

Asami nods. Suzuki, washing pots, bangs one in the kitchen sink. 

“You’ll feel better once you drink it. It isn’t fun being sick, right Aki-chan?” Yoh murmurs. 

Akihito nods. It isn’t fun being sick. But sick or not, he doesn’t want to drink it!

A few seconds pass. Akihito doesn’t make a move towards the soup.

“Akihito, drink the soup.” FeiLong mutters, eyebrows drawn.

Akihito shakes his head. Why doesn’t anyone understand? He doesn’t want to drink it. It’s nasty.

“Akihito.” FeiLong breathes, syllables long and measured. “If you don’t drink the soup, you’re going to be a sorry boy.”

What?! Akihito shakes his head. Under the blanket, he presses his hands into his armpits. No, Akihito isn’t in Hong Kong anymore. FeiLong can’t do this!

Back in Hong Kong, Akihito was made to drink many a soup like this. Nasty, spicy, abominations. But it usually wasn’t FeiLong who forced him to. It was Yoh. 

Yoh would push the soup to him and not let him leave the table until he drank it all. It would take hours, but Yoh never said a disparaging word. Just encouraged him, sip by sip. At times, Yoh would start to clean his guns, waiting for him patiently. And then they would visit Fei. Sometimes, Akihito and Yoh would make a competition of who was brave enough to drink all of it the fastest. But here, nobody else but he is eating the soup. It’s not fair!

Akihito hides his head under the blanket. He doesn’t want to see the soup. The air inside the blanket thankfully does not smell like soup.

“Akihito.” FeiLong growls. “You’re being a very bad boy right now. You have five to come out. Five. Four. Three-”

What?! Akihito quickly sprouts out of the blanket. The countdown scares him shitless. It never got to one, but for some reason, the numbers going down terrifies him. He doesn’t know what will happen if it goes to one. He never wants to know.

“Drink the soup. It’s getting cold.”

Akihito shakes his head. Suzuki, now drying the dishes, sighs like there’s a trainwreck and he knows what’s going to happen. Yuta and Haruto share long-suffering, commiserating looks.

“Palms out.” FeiLong bites. 

What? Akihito cautiously extends his palms out. Why does FeiLong want his hands?

_ Crack _ . Akihito yelps and retracts his hands close to his chest, cradling them. FeiLong just hit his hands! With the ladle! That hurt!

Sniffling and eyes wet, Akihito tries to hold in the crying bout welling up. His mouth screws downwards and his lower lip wobbles. The first cry bubbles up, hiccuping and miserable. Yoh shushes him, brushing the hair out of his eyes.

“Drink the soup, Aki-chan.” FeiLong sighs. 

Crying, Akihito does. 

**

Akihito is lying on the floor, burrito blanket spread in a mess around him, Teremok in hand. His wings are out, the itchy fiery torture things they are.

Yoh inspects his wings, interested in the way there are tiny furls of feathers just poking out of his skin. “Congratulations on getting your first flight feathers, Aki-chan.”

“... should have known, when he first reacted badly to the drugs. The same drugs alright to adults are poisonous or even deadly to kids. That was the first clue. I-” FeiLong murmurs, low and heated in the kitchen with Asami. The two businessmen are talking about something. 

Akihito rolls over, whining. He doesn’t like his wings. They’re itchy and hurt and they don’t let him sleep peacefully. Or breathe peacefully. He’s miserable. 

He ruffles them in the air. A rain of baby down feathers shake down like a broken-into pinata.

Yoh combs his fingers gently into his overstressed muscles. The cool fingers are soothing on his hot skin. Akihito sighs.

“Itchy, huh? Do they hurt?” 

The blond nods, groaning. They hurt so much.

“Okay. I’ll be back in a second, alright?” Akihito whines. No, he doesn’t want Yoh to leave. “Silly boy, I’ll be right back. Just sit tight. Be right back.”

Akihito lets go and flops, back to the ground. He lifts his feet and plays with blocking the light. When his toes block the light, his eyes can see everything in the room. When his toes move, the light fixture blinds him a bit. Everything looks more white.

“What are you doing, Aki-chan?” Queries Asami. The man is in loungewear, like the first time he saw him. Asami smiles down at him, amusement tugging at his lips.

“Ryu-Ryu! Look! I got my first flight feathers!” Akihito points to the pointed, inflamed part of his wings. Which was everywhere. He flips on his stomach to lay on Teremok, kicking his feet.

“That’s great, Aki-chan.” FeiLong twinkles. “You’re growing up super fast. Are you feeling better?”

He nods. Now that he thinks about it, he is feeling better. A lot better. The only thing bothering him is his wings. But it’s definitely not because of the soup!

FeiLong’s smile widens. “Good boy.” The man leans down to ruffle his feather hair. “Want to take from me?”

Hm. Akihito hasn’t taken from FeiLong in a long time. The poison tastes sweet, now. Nobody would mind if he does, right? 

“Watch it, FeiLong.” Asami grunts out. Fei smirks back like the cat’s got the canary. 

“Whatever you say, Asami. Next time, okay, Aki-chan?” FeiLong curls fingers into the back of Akihito’s neck. Akihito relaxes into a puddle of goo into the floor.

Akihito groans. His wings are itchy and painful but they’re more distant. He’s sleepy.

“Don’t do that, FeiLong.”

“What, this?” The man squeezes a bit harder. Akihito’s muscles relax more, somehow. 

“Don’t scruff baby cats and dogs without their permission.”

“Or what, what are you going to do, daddy Asami?” FeiLong pets Akihito down his back, not letting go of his neck, shushing him. Akihito just moans into Teremok.

The last time he was in this position was back in the bunker, in that godforsaken steel room in the depths of that Chernobyl ship. He hates it. 

Tears wet his eyelashes, the second time today. He’s getting spacey and sleepy. Why does mommy and daddy have to fight?

Asami doesn’t deign to respond. He just kneels down to Akihito and gently pushes in a finger, tickling the roof of his mouth. Akihito sucks automatically, chasing the itchiness, and Asami switches it for a rubber teat.

Mn. It’s cinnamon banana this time.

“Rooting reflex. Pretty handy for when he doesn't take to solids. You can also activate it by brushing his cheek. Like how you would to a chick.” Asami comments idly. 

“I… I didn’t know. When he sucked my fingers, I thought he wanted sex.” FeiLong mutters, low and shameful. The hand on Akihito’s neck leaves, slowly. Akihito stays in position, sprawled. He’s halfway to sleep, sucking rhythmically on the first calorie-full thing he’s having so far today. The doctor wanted him to eat more calories, or was it celery?

“Chicks feed from mouth to mouth for the first few months. It’s a natural mistake.”

FeiLong doesn’t reply, this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The characters just wanted it and forced me to write this IDK what even happened


	8. Comfort and Security

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why tell an adult? They won’t do anything, anyway.”

“Takaba Akihito, get back here!” Suzuki chases after the blond. 

“NOOO!” Akihito yells, wet feet pattering on the wood. He hates bath time.

He bursts into the living room, leaving a dripping trail of soapy water all over the flooring. He shakes his wings, fluttering more lavender soap everywhere.

Suzuki enters through the door, prowling and wet and at the end of his rope. “Takaba Akihito, come back here. Asami-Sama. Kuroda-sama. Apologies.” He politely nods at the men and then continues his hunt for the brat. 

“Ah, it’s no problem.” Kuroda smiles geniley. 

“Suzuki.”

“It’s not a problem, Suzuki-san.”

“No! I don’t wanna!” Akihito runs to the front door of the penthouse, irrespective of his lack of clothes. Suzuki catches him halfway to the door by his wrist. 

“Get back into the bathtub or so help me God, I will spank you. You’re being very disruptive to Asami-sama and Kuroda-san.”

Shivers run up his blood from the threat, but he’s so frustrated that he doesn’t care. “No! No!” He tries to wrestle his wrist from Suzuki, but it’s impossible. He plops down onto the ground, legs akimbo, wings jerking everywhere. They just burn more. “You’re a meanie! You’re… a big, _fat BUTTHOLE! I HOPE YOU STEP ON A LEGO!_ ”

Someone muffles a guffaw. 

When Akihito looks up, Suzuki looks ready to murder him. 

The man tightens his grip on Akihito’s wrist, ready to pull him up onto a very willing lap. Akihito crosses his arms and unbends his knees, kicking Suzuki’s shin in the process.

If he gets a spanking, so be it. He’ll fight all the way through. 

“If I may, Ryuichi?” Kuroda murmurs in the background. Akihito hears footsteps slog through the miniature puddles he’s left. 

His aching and already itching wings are burning from the soap. He hates it. He hates it so much.

“Akihito-chan, was it?” The stranger goes down on a knee in front of him. 

Akihito sniffs, turning his head the other way. 

“Suzuki-san was being a big, fat butthole, wasn’t he? He wasn’t very nice.”

The blond whips his head to face Kuroda. He nods. 

“Do you want to tell me why?”

“Suzu makes me hurt!” Akihito hears Sakura muffle laughter at the door.

“Where does he hurt you?”

Akihito points to his sad, burning, drooping wings. 

“He hurts your wings?”

The blond nods. Finally someone understands it! He’s been yelling about this forever now and nobody believed him!

“Do you mind if I take a closer look?”

The boy nods, and Kuroda leans in to inspect the wings. In some areas, only irritated pink flesh can be seen. In other areas, tiny pinpricks of feathers are starting to come in. There are only a few downy feathers attached at all by this point. “Ouch, it looks like it hurts a lot. You must be very brave, Akihito-chan.”

“I’m very brave?”

Kuroda nods. “Mnnh hm. That’s right. Your feathers must be coming in so fast they must bother you a whole lot, huh?”

“Yeah! They hurt all day! And all night! They hurt forever!”

“Oh no! They hurt so much you can’t sleep?”

Akihito nods so much he’s a bobblehead personified. Kuroda actually understands him. He’s been so frustrated and in pain and itchy and overstimulated all day every day that he can’t help it when his bottom lip wobbles and tears bead in his eyes. 

“Thanks for telling me, Aki-chan. I promise that Suzuki-san won’t hurt your wings any longer, alright? He won’t put soap in them and he won’t use hot water, okay little guy?”

“Promise he won’t be mad?” Akihito lifts the pinky of his other hand. 

“Promise.” Kuroda links their pinkies together and shakes on them. 

“Okay.” Akihito swivels to Suzuki and lifts his arms up, the universal sign to be carried. Suzuki is no longer angry, but rather holds a mystified expression towards Kuroda as the boy is perched on a hip.

Kuroda murmurs something about terrible twos and soap on open wounds and molting and toddler Advil and aloe vera or whatever while Akihito lolls his head on Suzuki’s shoulder, still achy but tired. He’s crashing from a long day.

Suzuki is getting wetter all over from the blond, but doesn’t seem to notice. His wings still burn, and he automatically flutters them to try to aerate them. He holds back a whimper as the aerating them just makes them burn and itch and hurt more. 

After a bit, Suzuki enters the tub, gently rinses the soap out of his wings and then the rest of him, toweling them both off slowly and tucking him into pyjamas, Akihito still clinging onto the man all the while. 

“Promise you’re not mad?”

“Promise, Akihito. I’m not mad.” In the bedroom, the man feeds him a sweet gummy bear and spreads a minty, cooling salve on his wings. His twitching wings finally stop and still, resting on the plush bedding. 

Comfortable and sleepy and not itchy for once, he reaches out to grab Suzuki’s hand to stop him from leaving. “Sleep with me?”

A pause. “Okay. But I have to go for just a little bit first.”

Akihito releases the hand, satisfied. “Okay. Come back really soon.” That’s something Yoh said. Yoh never lies. 

He slips into dreamland.

**

Then on, Kuroda visits more and more. Akihito likes Kuroda. Kuroda understands him.

“I miss mommy and daddy.”

The blond kicks Akihito the Owl over and over, toeing and flipping the stuffed owl that’s pinched between two hands. Bored, he stops and stretches, reaching as far as he can with his toes and fingers and wingtips. Suzuki rubs down his tummy, then leaves to clean up the living room and kitchen, complaining about Aki not cleaning up after himself all the while.

Akihito reaches for Kuroda’s glasses. The man lets him take them. The boy peers into them. Everything looks funny. The plastic is warm and bendy.

He puts the glasses on Akihito. “Look! It’s Kuroda-Akihito! Akihito the Owl is now Smart Akihito! He’s a judge, like you!”

“I’m a district attorney, Aki-chan. But yes. District attorneys are like judges in that we do go to court.”

Akihito plays with Aki-owl a bit more. “Why are you friends with Ryu-ryu?”

“Aki-chan, I need my glasses back.” Akihito pouts, handing the glasses back to the outstretched hand. “Good boy. Your-” cough “Ryu-ryu saved me and my little sister from some pretty bad people, back in high school.”

“Really? What did daddy do? Was he cool?”

A smile. Kuroda pats Akihito the Owl’s fur, then Aki-chan’s head. “Yes, he was cool. He was very cool. And now we’re friends.”

“I saved Ryu-ryu! There were lots of bad men. They hurt me. And then Fei saved me. But then I saved Fei and daddy and Yoh and Suzu. There’s no bad men anymore.”

Shinji’s eyes gleam under his glasses. Akihito doesn’t know what expression is on Shinji’s eyes. 

“But don’t tell anyone, okay? It’s a secret.” Akihito mimes shushing with his index finger.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want anyone to know that all the bad men died. I think I killed them. I didn’t mean to! I just did!” Akihito wails into Kuroda’s ironed pants. 

“It was a big fire, wasn’t it? Sometimes big fires are hard to control and you can’t help it. It’s okay, Aki-chan. It was your first time, wasn’t it?”

Akihito nods. Wait. How did Kuroda know about the fire?

Kuroda seems trustworthy. Maybe daddy told Kuroda about the fire. Kuroda is daddy’s friend. It makes sense.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Akihito whispers. Kuroda grunts an affirmative. The blond clambers up to sit, hips splayed, atop Kuroda’s lap. The blond stretches his neck to and pushes the DA’s shoulders down to whisper into the man’s ears. “The bad men are bad… because I don’t like them. They’re bad. They put weird _things_ into Akihito and then they put a gun into Akihito and shot Akihito. It hurt, lots. I didn’t like it.”

“Oh, Aki-chan.” Kuroda sighs. 

“Why did the bad men do it? It hurt so much. Why did they like it?” Akihito sobs into the shoulder.

Shinji doesn’t say anything for a long moment. “You know, when I was in high school, the bad men wanted to do that to me too. Not the gun part. But the other parts. It was scary. Very scary.” Shinji swallows. Massages the bridge of his nose. “The bad men did it because they want to see other people hurting. It’s not good. If anyone wants to hurt you, you tell me or your daddy or Suzu or Kirishima, okay? Tell an adult.”

“Why tell an adult? They won’t do anything, anyway.”

Kuroda grabs Akihito’s hands. Makes Akihito look into his eyes. “Aki-chan. I need you to understand. Adults are supposed to protect kids. If you’re in trouble, tell a trusted adult. They’re supposed to help you.”

“I always saved myself. I don’t need help! Nobody helps Akihito when Akihito needs it the most.” Akihito scrunches his face.

“Aki-chan. What the bad men did, it’s called rape.”

“Rape?” Akihito parrots. Rolls the word around his mouth. 

“Yes, rape. It’s when someone tries to have sex with you but you don’t want-” Kuroda sighs. Whispers, _I’m not qualified for this_ and _Fuck_. “Rape is when someone tries or has sex with you but you don’t want it. Or the other person doesn’t want it.”

“But there wasn’t only me and the other person. There were lots! A whole room full!”

Kuroda’s face blanches. Exhales shakily. In the background, Yuta chokes. Suzuki curses. “That’s still rape, Aki-chan. You didn’t want it. So it’s rape.”

Akihito scrunches his face in confusion. “But-but I asked for it?”

“Even if you asked for it. As long as you didn’t want it at some point in time- before, during, or after- it’s rape.”

Akihito continues to roll the syllables with his tongue. “Rape?” The word feels funny.

“Yeah, Aki-chan. Rape.” Shinji takes Akihito out of the living room and into the kitchen for a wet towel by the hand. The blond toddles after the district attorney. “Rape is illegal. So tell an adu-”

“Illegal? But I-”

“Shhh. It’s okay. It’s illegal because it’s not good for the person who doesn’t want it. You’re not in trouble, Aki-chan.”

“But-but-” Akihito blubbers. He’s so upset. Nothing makes sense anymore.

“Rape is illegal so the person who doesn’t want it can tell an adult. Then the adult will make sure the person who rapes does not rape again. It’s not your fault, Aki-chan.”

“But I asked for it!”

“You didn’t know what you were asking for, did you? The bad men took advantage of you. Even if you did know what you were asking for, you’re too young to have sex. It’s called statuary rape-”

“But-but! But I had sex! With lots of people!” Akihito is full-on crying now. Nothing makes sense. Akihito’s so confused. And scared. And hurt. It’s not that there’s something hurting him now, though.

“Aki-chan. Aki-chan.” Kuroda breathes. Centers himself. “Do you know what sex is?”

Akihito nods. Of course he does! “It’s when a boy’s _peepee_ goes into someone else’s hole.” He hiccup-whispers. 

Kuroda nods. “Good job, Aki-chan. That’s one definition. It’s also when someone’s hands or fingers or anything else goes into someone else’s hole, boy or girl. It’s called penetrative sex. When people kiss, that’s also sex. It’s called oral sex. There’s many other kinds of sex, too.”

“But-but that means I had sex with even more people!” Akihito bemoans into Kuroda’s shirt.

“Aki-chan. Listen. This is important. What I want you to know is in general, if someone approaches you with sexual intentions, it’s a form of sex. Even if someone just looks at you and you’re uncomfortable. Even if someone just touches you too long and you don’t like it. Tell an adult and they’ll help you, Aki-chan.”

“So when the bad man kissed Akihito and put a gun in Akihito, that was sex too?”

“Yes, Aki-chan.” Kuroda sighs, again. “That’s called rape. Both of those are rape. Sex is sex when you want it. Sex is rape when you don’t want it. And you didn’t want it, Aki-chan.”

“I. I tried to like it, I tried to be a good boy. Everyone else likes it, so why can’t I? I don’t like it, it hurt and there was so much red and they were so mean. I tried to be good for them, but it was so hard and I hated it and then afterwards I knew that I would never be a good boy anymore. I’m not a good boy. I’m a bad boy, because I made them do it.” Everything is so confusing. It hurts, but there’s nothing hurting him. Akihito starts to hit his arm into the edge of the kitchen counter. “I’m a bad boy, I’m a bad boy, I’ll never be good, I’m bad, bad, bad-”

“Aki-chan!” Kuroda holds Akihito’s arms tight in his hand. “Aki-chan. Stop hurting yourself! You’re a good boy. It’s just that bad men made you think that you’re a bad boy. You’re the best boy. You’re kind, and bright, and special. You’re always a good boy, Aki-chan. You can never be a good boy. Naughty sometimes, a headache sometimes, but never bad, okay? Okay, Aki-chan?”

Akihito nods and continues sobbing. Kuroda sighs and pats his head, carrying him, swaying him back and forth in circles around the penthouse, humming an old lullaby again and again and again.

When Akihito finally calms and only hiccups a bit once in a while, he whispers. “Do you promise, Shinji? That adults will help me?”

Kuroda bounces him a few more times with a smile. “Yes, Aki-chan. I promise that adults will help you. I promise that I’ll help you. How about this. If you ask the adults around you and make them promise to help you in the future, will you ask them for help when you need it?”

Akihito nods. That would. Promises are easy to break, but they’re easier to believe in. 

“Okay, Aki-chan.” Kuroda carries him to the doorway. Yuta and Haruto straighten up. Were they eavesdropping? “You ready, Aki-chan?”

Akihito nods. Faces his two adult friends. “If. If.”

Kuroda nudges Akihito. “You got this. Don’t worry. Just say it.”

“If I’m in trouble, will you help me?”

Haruto beams. It’s the kind of smile that holds lots of pain. “Of course, Aki-chan. That’s what I’m here for, after all. I’ll protect you and help you lots. Just tell me, alright?”

“Me too.” Yuta interjects. “I’ll help you for anything. So don’t be afraid to ask. We’re friends, and I want the best for you, Aki-chan.”

“Promise?” Akihito whispers. It can’t be this easy, can it?

“Promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.” Yuta swears. “Even if it’s not my job anymore, I’ll protect you, Aki-chan.”

“I promise, Aki-chan.” Haruto repeats. “Don’t you worry about a thing. If you need help, call me. Tell me. I’ll do my best to make sure you stay safe, kiddo. And my best means a lot.” He winks.

Kuroda smiles down at Akihito. “See, wasn’t that easy?” The blond nods. Waves goodbye to the two men as he’s carried towards the bedroom, where Suzuki is organizing and cleaning.

“Suzuki-san. Aki-chan has something to say to you?”

Akihito breathes. It was easier than expected earlier. Maybe this time it’ll be easy as well.

“If I need help, will you help me, Suzu? Do you promise to help me?”

“Aw, Aki-chan. Yes. I promise to try to help you. Suzu is so sorry he didn’t help you before. Suzu is always too late to help you when you need it, huh?”

Kuroda puts a hand on Suzuki’s shoulder. Nods. Suzuki nods back and steels a breath.

“Yeah, Aki-chan. Suzu promises to help you, no matter what. Suzu loves you lots and lots, and that means Suzu wants you to stay safe and happy. Suzu will try his best to help you in the future, so don’t be afraid to ask for help, okay Aki-chan?”

Okay. Akihito nods. Suzuki takes off his gloves and sets down the cleaning supplies. Kuroda gives Akihito to Suzuki, who accepts the blond onto a hip easily. 

“It’s almost time for your nap, huh little guy? Want to say bye-bye to Kuroda-san and snuggle with Teremok?”

Akihito dutifully follows Suzuki’s suggestions. “Bye-bye, Shinji-ji! Have a good time being a judge!”

Kuroda chokes and recovers admirably. “I’m a district attorney, not a judge. But goodbye, Aki-chan.” The man’s eyes sharpen. “Thank you. I will have a good time.” He turns and puts on his shoes at the genken. Akihito waves him goodbye, as well as Yuta and Haruto. And then Kuroda is gone.

“Milk?”

“Yeah, buddy, let’s get some calories into you.”

Yuta takes a bottle out of the fridge and pours the mixture into a saucepan, heating it up over the stove fire. The man tests it on his wrist and pours the liquid back into the bottle, screwing the nipple with a _squelch_ on. Shakes the bottle.

Yuta smiles and gently inserts his index finger into the roof of Akihito’s mouth. When he takes the finger, Yuta replaces it with warm milk. “There you go, little guy.”

“Mngh.” Akihito murmurs, eyes already drooping. The morning was an emotional rollercoaster. He’s crashing.

“Sleepy little guy, huh?”

Suzuki smiles. “Yeah. All tuckered out. Could you get Teremok, Yuta-san? I’ll put him down.”

“Sure thing, Suzuki-san.”

Akihito snuggles to sleep amidst a fortress of men who promise to protect him. For once in a long time, he feels safe. Cradled. Protected. 

For the first time in a long time, he feels okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot will pick up in a few chapters


	9. Domestic Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami picks the blond up, not caring for the udon-broth stains transferring to the undoubtedly expensive suit. And starts filling a bath. 
> 
> As he’s lowered into the warm water, Akihito falls asleep to the taste of udon on his tongue.

Akihito giggles, loud and bright, into the chilling fall air. 

“Yay! Again! Again!”

Akihito’s flight feathers have finally come in. They’re gleaming and golden, reflecting all the colors of light on a white veneer as they scintillate. In the suns’ rays, they look like the surface of water. There’s still lots of down feathers, but he has more than enough primaries and secondaries to jump excitedly off all the tall structures he can climb. 

In this case, today’s tall structures are the laddered rafters on the back wall of the dojo. Asami looks on, indulgent. 

“Two more, then lunch.”

Suzuki, next to Asami and Kuroda, looks to be having heart attacks every time Akihito jumps. The poor man is clutching at his chest.

Kuroda continues to mutter, low and serious, to Asami. The men look grim.

Yuta and Haruto clap on the sidelines, cheering him on. 

“Good job, Aki-chan!”

“Way to go!”

Akihito shrieks in delight as he opens his wings and jumps off the third story rafter. Again. This time, he drifts even farther than before! He manages to hold a whole 15 seconds in the air, gliding from one wall to almost the other before tumbling into a heap of limbs.

He pops back up. 

“Don’t you want to practice the landing a bit more, buddy?” Suzuki asks weakly. 

“Nope!”

And Akihito runs to the other side of the gym, back up the rafters.

The boy falls forward, the rush of air like a rush of adrenaline in his face. His wings unfurl and catch the draft, gliding him forward. He tucks his wings in to dive, and Suzuki makes a warbling noise. 

At the last moment, he snaps open his wings, grabs Teremok, and then rolls to safety. Wow! He went super fast!

  
  


“One more? Please?”

“No, Aki-chan. That’s enough for today. It’s lunchtime.” Asami smiles. 

“It’s not Fei’s soup, is it?” Akihito grouses, suspiciously. The medicinal soup from many weeks ago still haunts his dreams. He’s just waiting for it to pop up again, after that terrible few weeks of having to drink it three times a day.

Asami chuckles. “No. It’s not medicinal soup.”

Akihito grins. He’s home safe.

Suzuki lets go of his chest. “Aki-chan, please don’t do that when you’re not in this gym. You’ve shaved a few decades off Suzu’s life.”

“Huh? Aren’t you super old already? Oh no! Are you going to die?”

“Super old?! You brat-!” Suzuki lounges for Akihito and the boy dodges, shrieking mercy. But Suzuki never lets up on the tickles. 

Finally breathless, Akihito gives up and stops consciously struggling in Suzuki’s hold. The man’s too strong!

Only then does Suzuki stop. “You learn your lesson yet, you little rascal?”

“I did! I did!”

Suzuki laughs and lifts his shirt, smacking a raspberry below his belly button. Akihito’s legs come out to wriggle on either side of Suzuki’s head as Akihito tries to squirm away. Suzuki just jabs his fingers into Akihito’s sides, and Akihito starts to laugh again, throwing his head back. 

“Stop! Stop!”

Miraculously, Suzuki stops. “Lunchtime, little guy?”

Akihito nods from his prostrate position, too lazy to move. “In a bit. Naptime first.”

“Nope, food first. You need to eat more, buddy. C’mon.” Suzuki grabs the blond from the armpits and easily lifts him up and up until he’s on Suzuki’s shoulders. 

“I’m tall! Look! I can see everyone!”

Yuta and Haruto wave from the sidelines.

“C’mon, let’s eat!” Akihito shouts. The bodyguards look uncertainty at Asami, but the businessman just nods and moves over.

Suzuki drops Akihito into Asami’s lap. Akihito curls further into the businessman and clings his long monkey arms around the chest. 

“Hi daddy. Hi Shinji-ji.”

“Hi, Aki-chan.” Kuroda smiles. “I think you forgot to ask your daddy a question last time.”

Last time? The last time Kuroda visited was a week and a half ago? Was it that long? How long did Akihito know Kuroda? 8 weeks? 12? Akihito doesn’t know anymore. It was after he was sick and Fei and Yoh visited.

Kuroda ruffles his wild hair. “Aki-chan. Don’t worry. Adults will protect you. Okay? So just ask.”

Oh. Was it the promise thing?

“Daddy?” Akihito starts. Asami stares at him, eyes dark. 

“It’s okay, Aki-chan. Go on.” Kuroda encourages.

“If. If I’m in trouble, will you help me?”

“I promise to help you, Aki-chan.” Asami simply says. “You have my word.”

Akihito, eyes wide, holds up a pinky. Asami doesn’t hesitate to link it with his own.

“There you go. It wasn’t that hard, wasn’t it, Aki-chan?”

Akihito nods and leans forward until he’s enveloped by the heat and smell of Asami. He’s sleepy.

“Udon time, Aki-chan.” Asami scoops some vegetables and broth into the spoon. “Open up.”

Akihito opens his mouth and receives the perfect ambrosia. It’s so good! His eyes are wide with wonder, looking at Asami. 

“Tasty?” Akihito nods vigorously, still chewing. Asami smirks. 

Yuta whispers a long, half-whispered, “ _ Cuuuuuttteeeee. _ ” Haruto elbows the man.

That was so good. Akihito wants more, focusing on the chopsticks. His butt wriggles in anticipation. Asami takes another portion of noodles and broth. And then slowly puts it in his mouth.

Why so slow? Go faster, Ryu-Ryu! He’s here, waiting half a day for those noodles. 

The man seems mesmerized by how Akihito licks his lips to catch the excess broth. “Yummy!” The blond exclaims. “More? More?”

Asami chuckles. So does Kuroda, who takes a break from his own noodles. “Let your daddy have a chance to eat, too, Aki-chan.”

Asami hands the chopsticks to Akihito, who takes the entire bowl and starts to slurp. More of it gets on his face than in his mouth. Kuroda chokes but then goes back to his bowl as well. Asami looks on, sipping on his broth like a nonplussed statue. 

Suzuki just faceplants into his bowl. Yuta pats Suzuki’s back. “Looks like the kid’s run you ragged. How much sleep did you get this past week?”

“Eight hours.” The man moans. “Total.”

Haruto inhales through his teeth. “I feel that. In my soul.”

“Man, just give us Aki-chan when we’re on duty. Get some sleep. I know basically everything there is to know. Seriously. Sleep.” Yuta emphasizes. 

“Sounds tempting.” Suzuki moans. 

“Don’t sweat it, bro. I’m sure we can handle Aki-chan for a few hours. He loves us.”

“Okay, okay. Okay.” Suzuki seems to take the time to think. But it’s clearly no decision at all. “Just this once, okay?”

“Sounds good.” Yuta subtly high-fives Haruto.

“Tomorrow?” Haruto clasps Suzuki’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, yeah. Tomorrow.”

Akihito wriggles his butt. He’s now thoroughly covered in udon. “More! Yummy!”

“What do you say, Aki-chan?” Suzuki groans tiredly from his seat. 

“Please. More!”

“Good enough.” Suzuki gets up to stagger to the pot on the stove, but Yuta takes the bowl from Suzuki’s stunned hands and returns the bowl to Akihito, full of tasty udon. Suzuki falls back onto the chair and slumps.

“Thank you.” Akihito bobbles. He has manners.

“Next time you want something, ask me or Haruto-san, okay buddy? Give your old Suzu a rest.”

“But I like Suzu!”

“I know, buddy. But sometimes your Suzu needs time to himself. Like how you need time to nap, he needs time to nap too.”

Akihito’s mouth widens in understanding. “Okay! Does Suzu need some ambrosia?”

“Ambrosia?” Yuta’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. 

The blond scoots closer to Suzuki. Puts a small hand on Suzuki’s neck. Then pushes, liquid gold dancing in the air to the body in the chair. Little by little, Suzuki’s wrinkles disappear and his skin reddens, full of life. If Suzuki looked 50 before, he now looks like he’s pushing 25.

Kuroda and Asami stare at him, not even pretending to eat. Creepy. 

How long has he fed? Since the fire? That must have been a few months ago. He doesn’t want to take, anymore. He’s tired of taking. He just wants to give. That’s all he’s good for, right?

Suzuki grouses himself to open his eyes. “Aki-chan? You want another bowl?”

The blond shakes his head and goes back to his udon. “Old Suzu wants a nap?”

“Haha. Yeah, sometimes old Suzu needs a nap. Don’t worry, I’ll take one later, little buddy.” The man grunts.

Kuroda is still staring. At least Ryu-Ryu has the decency to continue eating. If Shinji-ji doesn’t finish his udon, Akihito will finish it for him! What a waste, letting udon get cold and fat.

The blond finishes his second bowl as fast as his first. He’s so full, he feels like a bursting watermelon. One poke and he’ll explode.

“Naptime?” Akihito yawns. Eating lots always makes him sleepy.

Asami conjures a towel from somewhere and starts wiping Akihito’s face. “After a bath, Aki-chan.”

Kuroda is still staring. 

Asami picks the blond up, not caring for the udon-broth stains transferring to the undoubtedly expensive suit. And starts filling a bath. 

As he’s lowered into the warm water, Akihito falls asleep to the taste of udon on his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute cute Akihito is still on break. Angsty Akihito will appear soon, folks


	10. Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I won’t play anymore, I’ll be good, I promise! I promise!”

“Aki-chan? If you wanted to disappear, where would you go?” Kuroda asks one day, reading over documents next to Asami. Kirishima sighs for the upteenth time this week. It’s been a long few days for the adults, but nothing seems different. What’s making them tired?

“Huh? Why would I disappear?” 

“Lots of reasons. Maybe you don’t want someone to find you. Maybe you’re scared because you have a stalker. Maybe you’re too famous and you’re tired.”

“Why would I have a stalker? Or be famous?”

“Just suppose, Akihito. Where would you go?”

Back to the carpet, feet up, Akihito stops squishing Teremok and rests his arms out above his head. “If I wanted to disappear… I would want to go somewhere nobody I want to knows about! I’ll be a different person! And I’ll be with Teremok and daddy and Suzu and it’ll be somewhere nobody knows to look because it’ll be hidden. Like it’s a tea shop… but underneath! And it’s not a tea shop! Well, everybody knows it as a tea shop. But underneath, it’ll be a hideout with just me and my best friends.”

Kirishima straightens. Shuffles papers vigorously around for a few long moments. The only other sound in the room is breathing. “Asami. There’s a bookshop on 17th street that looks legal. But the basement floor plan is a bit unusual.” 

Kuroda tilts his glasses and leans forward. “Shit. Momohara Ai could have really been there, then. It fits her schedule. It’s close enough to where she was last seen.”

“And nobody could have tracked her if she went underground. No signal.” Kirishima nods.

Asami tips back the crystal and drinks the rest of the whiskey in one long gulp. “Momohara Ai and Aoki Mayu-”

“Aoki? There’s someone in the police department called Aoki! She was going to be my senpai!”

“Aki-chan?” Asami’s eyes seem to smolder. “Do you know Aoki Mayu?”

“Yamazaki-sempai died one day. So they wanted me to go to Aoki! She organizes evidence and photographs and mugshots. And something else too, I forgot. She’s nice.” 

Asami hums. “That’s helpful, Aki-chan. Thank you.”

Akihito nods, grinning. He’s proud of himself. “Huggies?”

Asami wordlessly bends down and carries Akihito on his hip with one hand. Akihito clings on like a limpet and snuggles into the warmth. He yawns into Teremok.

“Bedtime, I think.” Asami grunts. “You’re getting heavier, Aki-chan.”

“What? I’m getting fat?”

Asami snickers, quietly. It’s more huffs of air. “No, sweetie. It’s a good thing. It means you’re growing.”

“Oh!” So that’s why after the doctor’s visit they’ve been making him eat what seems like his every waking moment and some of his unwaking moments.

“Yeah, oh. One last bottle, sleepyhead. Daddy will be here with you.”

Asami’s steady heartbeat lulls him deeper and deeper into sleep. When Suzuki hands Asami the milk, he’s already snuffling and comfortable.

When the nipple touches his lips, he takes to suckling. It's a habit by this point. Mn. Pumpkin milk tonight. 

Asami strokes his hair and his back, soothing him down. The skin to skin always settles him. It seems like everyone knows how to cradle him asleep, how to open his appetite, how to manipulate his body to their liking. But he likes it. They care for him. They love him. Daddy loves him.

Daddy will love him and care for him and protect him. Akihito doesn’t have to worry about a thing.

**

  
Yuta and Haruto are taking him on a walk. Suzuki is asleep in the penthouse. Suzuki’s been sleeping a lot recently, so Yuta and Haruto play with him instead.

Akihito loves outside, especially where there’s trees and grass. And open sky! He wants to touch the clouds. 

Yuta holds Akihito’s left hand. Haruto holds Teremok and Akihito’s right hand. There are lots of people who give them weird looks, but Akihito is used to it. Nobody talks to them.

“Why is daddy always busy?”

“Because he has to work, Aki-chan.”

“That’s  _ boooring _ . Do you have to go to work too?”

Yuta laughs. “You’re our work, cutie pie.”

“Huh?”

“We stay with you. That’s our job.”

“What?! But I thought we’re friends!” Akihito gasps, scandalized. 

Haruto pats the blond on the head. “We’re friends too. Don’t worry. We’re friends first and foremost. It just so happens that you’re our work too.”

Oh! They’re at the park already? Aki spots a few dogs. There’s lots of sakura trees and a few willows. Birds chirp and rest on branches. 

“Do I  _ have  _ to keep my wings in?”

“I’m sorry, Aki-chan, but yes. Keep your wings in until we get back home, alright?”

Akihito nods seriously.

“Good boy, Aki-chan.” Yuta croons.

The blond grins back in joy. He’s good!

“Can I play?” The boy excitedly asks. 

Haruto chuckles. “Yes, you can play. Remember, run back to us if there’s anyone bothering you or if you want to go home.”

Akihito nods. Then sprints to the trees, fat with plums. The air is sweet and crisp. 

He shimmies up the trunk and climbs, up and up. The birds have flown away, and he perches on a branch. Reaching down, he plucks a plum and bites into it. It’s sweet and juicy and sour. Akihito loves it. 

“Yuta! Haruto! Plums!”

“Yeah, buddy. Why don’t we take them home to eat them? We gotta wash them first.”

“Later? But why?” Akihito pouts. He wants to eat more plums now. Not later.

“There’s lots of dirty stuff on them, buddy. You can get sick if you eat too much dirt.”

Akihito still wants to eat more plums. But Haruto and Yuta look serious and scary. “Here, Yuta.” Akihito drops plum after plum into the bodyguard’s hands. 

Haruto opens his tote bag to produce a smaller tote, handing the bag to Yuta. “Aki-chan, we can’t carry that many plums. We can pick some more next time, alright?”

“Okay.” Akihito grumbles. “Thank you, Mr. Plum Tree!” The blond pushes out a tiny bit of golden life energy into the tree. Mr. Tree is happy! Through the gentle wave of life energy in the tree, Mr. Tree thanks him back. 

The branches thicken and the trunk widens. Plums sprout and ripen in front of his eyes. 

“Takaba Akihito, stop that right now!” Haruto yells. Haruto never yells. Shocked, Akihito retracts his hands and falls from the tree. A tree branch catches him and sets him down to safety. 

Everyone at the park is staring. “Bye-bye, Mr. Plum Tree! Thank you for the plums and for catching me!”

“Akihito, stop talking.” Haruto whispers, grabbing the blond by the wrist and dragging him away, hand over the boy’s mouth. Yuta is on the phone furiously muttering to Kirishima. 

The walk back to the penthouse is thick with tension. 

Yuta sighs. “Aki-chan, you can’t do stuff like that in public. If you expose yourself, then bad people will get interested in you and then you’ll be in danger.”

Akihito pouts. “Why would anyone be interested in me?”

Haruto helps Akihito take off his shoes and then sets the plums on the kitchen counter. The bodyguard moves into the living room to shake Suzuki awake. They’re talking in low tones about something. Probably him.

Yuta leads Akihito into the bedroom. “Because you’re different from them. People are interested in people who are different from them.”

Suzuki and Haruto enter the bedroom. Suzuki looks incensed. The most mad he’s ever seen the man.

“Akihito.” Suzuki begins. “You did a very bad thing.”

Akihito whimpers, walking backwards until his thighs hit the bed. He lands on it, back to the comforter, and quickly sits up. 

“If you can’t behave yourself outside, then you can’t go outside.”

“Wh-what? No!” Akihito shouts out. They can’t just shut him inside! He only goes outside once a few weeks already. He needs to taste the air, to listen to sounds of animals, to feel the wind on his skin. If he can’t. If he can’t, he doesn’t know what he’ll do. He’ll shrivel away. 

“Well judging by the way you’ve exposed yourself to a few dozen people, I doubt that you can behave yourself.”   
  


“I’ll be a good boy! Suzu, I’m sorry. I’ll be the best boy! I was just thanking Mr. Plum Tree for the plums. I’m good, I’m good, Suzu.” They can’t do that to him. He needs to feel life as much as Suzuki needs to breathe. They can’t, they can’t-

They can.

“Akihito, you’re a good boy.”

He’s a good boy. Yes, he’s a good boy. Akihito’s relieved.

“You were very naughty, very  _ very  _ naughty. The only reason why the entirety of Japan doesn’t know about you right now is because Yuta-san thought quickly enough to call Kirishima-san to bribe everyone who saw you to stay silent. This cannot happen again. Do you hear me? This  _ cannot  _ happen again.”

Suzuki stalks forward to grab Akihito from the bed. The terror returns at full force. He lets out a little squeak and dives under the covers. “I won’t do it again! I won’t! I won’t, Suzu, believe me!”

“Oh, I believe you alright. You won’t ever do it again once I’m done with you.” Suzuki fishes Akihito’s ankle from under the blankets and yanks the boy out. 

“No! No! No! I’ll be good! I’m good! I’m a good boy!” Akihito shrieks, flailing and kicking. It does nothing. Suzuki’s grip is strong and his face is hard. “I won’t play anymore, I’ll be good, I promise! I promise!”

Yuta just sighs and walks out. Haruto follows suit. The door shuts with a finality.

Suzuki’s belt snaps open. Two seconds later, Akihito screams. He doesn’t stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot begins to pick up around here.
> 
> This is an early update to celebrate All Saint's Eve.


	11. Never assume loud is strong and quiet is weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An image comes to him. Akihito, slumped on the kitchen floor, back to the refrigerator. It’s dark. The midst of the night. Everyone is asleep. The clock ticks on.

“Aki-chan, open up.” Suzuki pokes impatiently. 

Akihito tries, but all he does is choke as he hiccups. 

“Is he okay?” Sakura worries. “I don’t mean to pry. But. He’s been crying all shift long.”

Suzuki, giving up, puts away the soup. “Might as well tell you. You’re going to hear about it anyway.” The refrigerator door bangs closed. Akihito flinches. “Akihito exposed himself while at the park with Yuta-san and Haruto-san. Wasn’t the flames or the wings, but. Yeah. It was undeniably unnatural.”

Undeniably unnatural. He’s unnatural. Who could love someone as unnatural as him? Someone who makes as many mistakes as him? He’s definitely not human. 

Sakura nods gravely in understanding. “Must have been hell in a basketcase to clean up.”

“I pity Kirishima-san. Honestly, what a headache.”

He’s a headache. He’s useless, except for making trouble. He’s so bad. His sternum hurts. 

He feels bad, so bad. It hurts. His heart hurts.

Suzuki returns with a bottle. He doesn’t want it. Just looking at it makes him nauseous. Suzuki tries to stick it in his mouth anyway. 

Akihito’s crying too hard to latch. Eventually, the man gives up. 

Suzuki betrayed him. Again. He should have expected it, but he didn’t. 

Flinching from Suzuki’s touches, he cries himself to sleep.

**

“...hadn’t been able to get him to eat or drink anything at all the past 20 hours. He finally fell asleep around 16:20-”

Akihito wakes up crying. His head hurts so much. So does his throat and butt and thighs. Breathing hurts.

He’s bad. He’s so bad. Suzuki’s angry face was terrifying. He never wants to see it again. Everything he does is a mistake. He can’t afford to do anything. He’ll just go along and do everything they tell him. 

  
  


Talking has gotten him in trouble. So he just won’t talk. Nobody listens to him, anyway. Every time he tries to suggest something or tell them something, they say no, later, in a bit. It’s better if he doesn’t talk at all. It’ll be better for everyone. 

It hurts, so much.

“Aki-chan! You’re awake.”

A flash of cold fear. It’s from Suzuki. How can he act so concerned and worried when he just showed his true face to Akihito a little bit ago? How can he act like nothing’s wrong?

Well, nothing is wrong. It’s just Akihito who’s wrong. Akihito’s a monster, but he seemed to have forgotten that somehow. 

Stupid, stupid.

His crying isn’t loud. If not for the snuffling and shivering, it can pass for regular breathing. 

Suzuki reaches for him. The blond shifts out of reach. His pupils dilate in fear. Akihito knows Suzuki won’t hurt him. It’s just that his body and mind doesn’t know it, really. Akihito trusts Suzuki in lots of things. Akihito doesn’t trust Suzuki in a lot more.

The sunlight is too strong. Akihito feels cold. He hates the brightness, the normality, the fake happiness. 

Suzuki retracts his hand. 

Asami interrupts. “I’ll take care of him. Go.”

Suzuki seems to want to say something but doesn’t. The man walks to the kitchen, leaving the door open.

“Aki-chan. Are you okay?”

He nods. It’s hard work to not speak, but his voice is horse anyway. It’s all for the better.

Of course, he’s okay. What kind of question was that?

Asami drapes more covers on him, shushing at his shivering. 

“You’re good, you’re good, Aki-chan.” Asami murmurs. “You’re a good boy.”

“Walgh-” Akihito manages out before sputtering into coughing. His throat is so scratchy and dry it hurts, too. 

At least he didn’t say anything.

Asami retrieves a glass of water and feeds it directly into Akihito’s lips. Some water trickles out the corners of his mouth but most of it goes down his throat. Some of it is coughed out as he hiccups through his crying.

He can’t help it, but he’s a mess. A big, stupid baby. He’s a burden on everyone. He’s ugly and fat and a taker. He makes messes and makes everyone else clean up after him. 

_ I’m sorry _ , he mouths. 

“Don’t be sorry, Aki-chan. You’re good. Everything is forgiven. And you’re not going to expose your powers in public anymore, are you?”

The blond quickly shakes his head. No, he won’t. He won’t use them again. It’s shameful to be different. It’s creepy. Weird. Unnatural. He’ll keep his wings and fire and energy to himself. He won’t take ever again. Now that he truly knows how much of an abomination he is, he knows better than to show off how different he is. 

“That’s all Suzuki wanted. He went about it hard-handed, admittedly, but the results speak for themselves.” Akihito can hear the rise and fall of Asami’s lungs. The loud, echoing heart. “I’m sorry, Aki-chan. Sometimes adults have to do things you don’t like to keep you safe. Adults don’t like doing them either.”

Akihito already knows nobody liked being with him. It’s okay. It’s all true, anyway. Nobody deserves being stuck with him, nevermind taking care of him and picking up after him everyday. That’s torture.

_ I’m sorry _ , he mouths again. 

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Aki-chan.”

Akihito’s big eyes just stare at Asami. The time between his hiccuping breaths starts to lengthen. 

“We promised to protect you, Aki-chan. I’ll keep you safe. And sometimes, keeping you safe means keeping you safe from yourself.”

Yes. Keeping him safe from himself. He’s a monster. What is there to keep safe? How can Akihito be so selfish, all this time?

Akihito says nothing and just lies there, eyes losing focus. He just woke up, but it’s been a long day. His chest hurts. 

“Aki-chan.” The voice is like from underwater. Slow-fast. Clear but muddled. “Aki-chan, come back to me.”

Everything hurts. Hurts. Hurts so much.

“Aki-chan.” Asami shakes his shoulder. The floaty feeling leaves a bit but then clamps back in. This is comfortable. He doesn’t want the feeling to go away.

He feels better and better. The pain isn’t as bad now. 

“Aki-chan.” The man returns with wet towels. Asami puts one on his forehead. Cold. He giggles. Everything is so…  _ distant _ . 

There’s the hot on his toes, cold on his forehead. Sharp on his fingertips. Soft on his stomach. 

No, no. Don’t make the floaty feeling go away. Don’t make it go away, Ryu-Ryu. It’s the only thing that makes everything okay. 

Akihito inhales, shuddering. The world comes back in full force, bright and harsh and loud. 

He’s unmoored. He doesn’t like it. He wants to float. 

_ No _ . He mouths. 

Asami’s eyebrows furrow. “Akihito. Talk to me.”

_ Daddy _ . He replies. The word comes out like a whistle, a mere wheeze. Akihito’s hand shoots up to cradle his throat. It hurts. His throat hurts. His chest hurts. His stomach flutters viciously.

The older man’s eyes narrow. 

Akihito throws up.

**

Asami, at the kitchen, tries to feed him soup. He gags at that, too. 

Akihito doesn’t want any food. He doesn’t want to rely on Suzuki or anyone. He’s enough of a burden, of a mistake. He doesn’t have to rub it in their faces too. 

Besides, he has to lose weight anyway. Asami called him fat. And all he’s been doing the past few months has been eating, all day and all night. He’s lazy. He doesn’t contribute. No wonder they don’t like him. 

And. Nobody will fuck a skinny person. Nobody will touch a skinny enough person, someone tipping their toes into death, because one touch can break them. 

He’ll be safe, at last. Safe from everybody. And he’ll be so weak, everybody will be safe from him. That’s the most important part.

Asami sighs. “We’ll try again in a bit.”

At least that’s done. 

An image comes to him. Akihito, slumped on the kitchen floor, back to the refrigerator. It’s dark. The midst of the night. Everyone is asleep. The clock ticks on. 

There’s the knife Suzuki and Yuta use to cut fruit. It’s sitting in the drying rack, along with his chopsticks and matching spoon. His utensils are easy to identify: they’re smaller than the rest.

The knife is in Akihito’s hands. He gently slides it between his ribs, up to glide into his warm, beating heart. It hurts. Of course, it hurts. But it only hurts for a while.

There’s red. It’s warm. He can’t feel his fingertips, his toes. Then his legs. His arms. His heart. Everything is slow and peaceful. He’s had practice waiting to die. He knows this will be hard, but not impossible. 

And then it’s peaceful and beautiful again, at last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst incoming
> 
> Happy November, y'all stay safe. Or else Asami and Fei will forever wear cabbage costumes


	12. Idealation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The clock continues ticking. Suzuki’s checks are fewer now. Everything gets distant. Background noise. It’s just him and the knife. The knife sitting innocently in the drying rack.

The image haunts him. Sometimes it’s a longer knife. Sometimes his wrist is also slashed, jagged and clumsily, up to his elbow. Sometimes he draws with his blood, to pass the time. Sometimes he doesn’t.

The kitchen is always the same, though. As well as the clock. And it’s always night. Everyone is asleep. Nobody will interrupt him. Nobody will “help” him.

It’s been four days since the punishment. He hasn’t eaten since then. The smell of food is mouth-watering and tempting, but he holds it back. Excuses that he’s nauseous. It’s true. He is nauseous. Nauseous at himself. 

He also doesn’t talk.

By the fifth day, Asami has had enough. “Akihito, you’re going to eat or you’re not leaving the table.”

It’s chilly. He’s been shivering since he woke up. He just wears more clothes. It covers up his disgusting body, too. 

Breathing has been hard, too. But he’s had trouble breathing for so long, what does he expect? To be magically free from it?

So Akihito moves a shaky hand to the spoon. It slips out of his grasp, clattering on the floor. 

“That’s it, Akihito. I know you didn't like the punishment. I get it. Be angry at me. But stop being a drama queen. Everyone’s busy. ”

His chest hurts more. Asami leaves the penthouse. He’s a burden. It’s true. He’s a drama queen. It was just a punishment. Suzuki did it for his own good. And his temper tantrum has been unnecessarily extra for busy men like Asami and Kirishima and Suzuki. And Yuta and Haruto. And all his other guards. 

He’s been nothing but a burden since he came here. 

“I don’t want to see you leaving the table until you’ve eaten.” Suzuki thunders. The man stands up and starts washing the dishes. Cleans the kitchen counters, looking up periodically to check on the boy’s progress. 

Five minutes tick by. Fifteen. Thirty. An hour. Suzuki sighs and goes into the living room to vacuum the carpets. Yuta and Haruto are in the bathroom, washing laundry. Nobody’s here. It’s perfect.

The clock continues ticking. Suzuki’s checks are fewer now. Everything gets distant. Background noise. It’s just him and the knife. The knife sitting innocently in the drying rack.

Half a day passes. The sun is setting. It’s beautiful. Suzuki’s checks are every hour and a half now. 

“Akihito, this is getting ridiculous. Just eat some soup, then you’re free. Just one bowl.”

Akihito knows he’s ridiculous. Nobody should have to deal with him. He shivers, pulling his cardigan closer. 

Suzuki sighs. The three of them- Suzuki, Yuta and Haruto- start prepping for dinner. It’s udon. But Akihito doesn’t want it. He probably won’t be allowed it, anyway. He hasn’t finished his soup.

Akihito bends down and reaches for the spoon on the floor. Dips the spoon into the soup. It’s gone cold and fat, mushy in the wrong places. But it’s okay.

Lift the spoon to his mouth. Take a sip. Swallow it. It’s hard. Akihito can feel the calories sliding down his throat, going into his disgusting pot belly, his fatty thighs. It’s not Suzuki’s who’s fat. It’s him, all along.

His lungs rattle. His breaths are shallow. His skin is clammy. It’s been clammy all day. His chest hurts. Oh god, how his chest hurts.

“You ready to talk, Akihito?” Yuta entreats. Not Aki-chan. Akihito.

Akihito opens his mouth. The words are stuck in his throat. His heart beats loud. 

“When are you going to stop the silent treatment, bud? I know it wasn’t fair, but you’re being really sensitive and immature. We were doing what was best. You can’t keep this up forever.”

Akihito already knows all this. The truth hurts, but it’s the truth.

Akihito sits through a silent dinner. Yuta and Haruto talk about trading sparring partners with Suzuki. Nobody talks to him, as usual. The blond’s chest hurts. 

They clean up. It’s 8 pm. Asami still isn’t home. Of course, Asami doesn’t want to see him. Neither does Kirishima or Kuroda. Kuroda hasn’t visited in a long time. Why would they?

If Asami still isn’t home by now, it means he’s coming home sometime in the middle of the night. 

Suzuki waves off Sakura and Haruki, saying he’s got this, to take the night off. 

The man busies himself by deep cleaning the oven and refrigerator. When he’s done with that, he moves onto the living room, dusting and scrubbing.

The knife glimmers gold in the kitchen lighting.

Akihito knows Suzuki only checks about every two hours now. 

Slowly, as quietly as he can, Akihito gets up to retrieve the knife. Suzuki doesn’t notice.

Akihito returns to the kitchen table, knife in hand. He’s not allowed to leave the table, after all. 

It’s different. Fantasy from reality, that it. The knife is unwieldy in Akihito’s hands. Bulky. The edge is sharp. Of course. All the knives are kept in tip top shape.

He never dreamed about the mechanics of it. He has to take off his cardigan. His hoodie. His shirts. It’s cold. His shivering is worse. 

The clothes drop to the floor. He’s always leaving messes. It’s okay, it’s his last mess. He opens his wings. His monstrosities. The feathers are molting, his wings ugly masses of pink. He hasn’t unfurled his wings in weeks. It feels good to have air on them, but also painful. All the fallen feathers drift to the floor in a layer so thick Akihito can’t see beyond his face for a few seconds. 

The knife is steady in his hands. He lays his wings on the table. He traces the veins in his wings. So fragile. So breakable. He presses the metal harder. Blood beads onto his skin. He has no golden energy left. He hasn’t fed in months. He’s not going to heal.

Be brave, Akihito. It’s okay. It’ll only be for a little bit. Then everything will be beautiful again.

Be brave. So everything can be better. 

Akihito presses hard, fisting the knife. He drags the gold up the vein. Up one wing. Turns. Then the other. The other is easier. It’s easier to breathe, now. He can’t even see the clumsy, jagged cuts. It’s under a layer of gushing blood.

For the first time in a while, he feels powerful. The red drips down the little feathers still clinging onto his monstrosities. 

He lets his wings fall gently to the floor so that Suzuki won’t hear any dripping. The clock ticks on.

The knife is warm under his wet hands. Steady, steady Akihito. Be brave. The pain is temporary.

He eases the knife between his ribs, gently, sliding it in like it’s always supposed to be there, centimeter by agonizing centimeter. 

His arms are tired. It takes two tries to finally lodge the knife into the hilt. His heart stutters. God, it hurts. 

His hands slip. Eventually, he gets the knife out again. It clatters on the kitchen table. Blood gushes out. Pretty. He slumps in the chair. 

Pretty, pretty red. He used to love red. Then he was scared of it. Why was he scared of it? It’s so beautiful.

There are so many things he wishes to say. It’s too late to say them now, he guesses. But he can still say something.

_ I’m sorry _ , he traces, trembling, sloppily. His annoying arm won’t stop shaking. His uncooperating body won’t stop shaking. 

_ I’m a bad boy. _ Hm. Will that be enough? Akihito hopes it will be enough. Everything is more peaceful now. He’s not cold anymore. Nothing really hurts. He draws a heart. Hm.

His heart is slower than the ticking of the clock. Akihito painfully paints out a slow  _ I’ll be better- _

And then everything slowly fades to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to destress. Election stress is no joke.


	13. Tick Tock Goes The Clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, what has he done?

_ Take me to the rooftop _

_ I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turnin' blue (blue) _

_ Tell me love is endless, don't be so pretentious _

_ Leave me like you do (like you do) _

_ If you need me, wanna see me _

_ Better hurry 'cause I'm leavin' soon _

Akihito wakes. 

_ Sorry can't save me now _

_ Sorry I don't know how _

_ Sorry there's no way out (sorry) _

_ But down _

_ Mm, down _

Where is he? There’s lots of blurry noise. Shrill beeps. Yelling. 

_ Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek _

_ That's what a year long headache does to you _

_ I'm not okay, I feel so scattered _

_ Don't say I'm all that matters _

_ Leave me, deja vu (mm) _

His eyelids are heavy. Almost unfathomably heavy. It takes all his effort to open his eyes. Hm There’s Asami. And Suzuki. Where are we going?

_ If you need me, wanna see me _

_ You better hurry, I'm leavin' soon _

_ Sorry can't save me now (sorry) _

_ Sorry I don't know how (sorry) _

_ Sorry there's no way out (sorry) _

_ But down _

_ Mm, down _

He closes his eyes. It’s not important. 

_ Call my friends and tell them that I love them _

_ And I'll miss them _

_ But I'm not sorry _

_ Call my friends and tell them that I love them _

_ And I'll miss them _

_ Sorry _

**

“-animals refuse to eat when they know they’re going to die.” The sensei continues. Suzuki pretends to listen. His face is stoic. His hands, in his pockets, shake. 

“His digestive tract was clotted with vomit. He had complications from pneumonia and malnourishment. I’m sorry to say that he went into organ failure. We put him in a medical coma. He also lost a frankly incredible amount of blood. If he doesn’t respond to treatment-”

Suzuki clenches his hands. Kirishima is stiff next to him. Asami is chain-smoking, uncaring for the no-smoking rule. It’s the first time he’s seen Asami smoke.

He was returning from a quick trip to the konbini for a surprise. He knows he’s been hard on Akihito. He’s tired, and he was harsh. Something to perk the boy up wouldn’t hurt. 

He told Akihito to not leave the table until he finished the soup. And then he comes back to find Akihito, listless, wings open and bloody and half hacked off. Body in red. Soup still on the table. 

He can still smell the iron, sharp and tangy. Can still see the messy, red promise. 

_ I’m sorry I’m a bad boy. I’ll be better- <3 _

His little angel. Dead, by Suzuki’s cruelty. He’s just a boy. 

Oh, how he regrets.

He was just so scared and worried for Akihito when he found out he exposed his powers in public. There has already been a few dozen assassination attempts over the months. The Momohara case was not making things easier. To make it worse, there have been whispers of a new criminal organization in China and they’re making a ruckus in Japan. 

It’s all his fault. He almost killed Akihito once. And now, he’s doing it for real. He can’t even measure out a proper dose of ibuprofen. How did anyone expect him to raise a boy with powers?

He’s never there to save Akihito. The boy was right. He never needed saving, because he saved himself. Maybe Akihito got tired of saving himself. 

Just a boy. He’s just a little boy. Not even two years old yet. His flight feathers just came in, for God’s sake!

Suzuki can’t bear to think of Akihito’s last words. They were promises to be good, to be better, that he would not play anymore. Akihito was begging him to listen. And he didn’t.

Those were Akihito’s last words before the boy just. Stopped talking. He should have known then. He should have known when Akihito couldn’t eat. He should have known when Akihito stopped singing little inane songs to himself about Teremok or bathtime or clean up, all those months ago. He should have known.

He’s just a little lost boy. He just wanted to go home. And Suzuki killed him.

Suzuki’s always too late to do anything. Was too late to save him from Yuri. Was too late to save him from Chernobyl. Was too late to save him from Suzuki.

God. He can’t believe it. Wasn’t it just last week when Akihito was giggling and running around? How long was the boy unhappy? What happened?

Akihito… Akihito was the one who released him from the Bratva and from the Chinese mafia. Nobody gets out of the mob. Once they’re in, they’re in for life. 

But Akihito chose him. So Mikhail gave him immunity. And FeiLong gave him immunity as well. He’s as free as he can be. Given, he had to leave his coworkers and contracts. But Akihito gave his bachelor life some meaning, instead of just paying off some medical bills for his parents. 

Akihito. Kind little angel Akihito, who forgives too easily and cries at the sight of meat. Who healed him and reversed about twenty years of aging because he said he needed a nap. Adorable, adventurous Akihito, who chirps back to the birds in the window like he’s having a conversation and who loves everyone around him wholeheartedly. 

Oh, what has he done? He’s crushed little Aki-chan’s spirit. Aki-chan is just a baby. Barely a year old. Who scolds a baby? Who hits a baby?

Akihito calls himself a monster, but he’s the real monster. His harshness and cruelty have finally killed the endless light inside the boy. 

Akihito. His bright little boy. Without a light any longer. How long was it since his light dimmed? How did he not notice the effect he’s had? How did he not notice the life he was strangeling? 

“Aki-chan will pull through. He always does.” Kirishima expels through the silent room. The doctor has long gone, busy with other patients.

“Kirishima. Inform Yoh and FeiLong.” Asami flicks through the last cigarette of his pack.

Kuroda bursts through the doors. “Is Aki-chan alright?” The man’s hair is afly, his tie loose. He must have come from the police department. 

“Multiple organ failure. Sepsis. Pneumonia. Near-fatal blood loss. Heart failure. They’re not sure if he’s going to pull through yet.” Kirishima lists.

Kuroda’s face falls. “Blood loss? Was it-?”

“Yes, it was a suicide attempt.” Asami makes no move to sugarcoat it.

“We should have put him in therapy, talked to him, something! He told me that bad boys don’t deserve to live, and I just brushed it off. He told me so many times.” Kuroda shakes his head. Like he’s handling a difficult case and needs to get back on track. “What. Why did he have pneumonia? And sepsis?”

Suzuki is full of shame. He accused Akihito of faking it for attention, of being a drama queen. Suzuki knows what happened at the Bratva. Harsh punishments, if unhealed, can get infected. And he called Akihito’s abilities unnatural. No wonder why the boy didn’t dare to heal himself. If he could.

When was the last time Akihito fed on someone? Suzuki can’t seem to remember. How did it just slip his mind? Akihito needs physical affirmation and energy. Has Suzuki been starving Akihito as well as letting his worry and anger get the best of him?

The thought sends shivers down his spine. Oh, what has he done? 

“His wounds were infected.” Kirishima spells out. “And his body was malnourished.”

“But I thought he was gaining weight recently? What the hell happened?!” Kuroda catches himself and takes several deep breaths. 

“He couldn’t stomach food for a few days. It reversed all the progress and more.”

Kuroda doesn’t ask why. Suzuki doesn’t want to think the way Akihito cried for hours, and then continued crying in his sleep until well after he woke up again. The way his hiccups were so miserable they didn’t allow him to latch. The way his nausea from the pain made him throw up everything he swallowed.

The pain that Suzuki inflicted.

He was just a baby. No. Stop thinking of him like he’s already dead. He is just a baby.

Somehow, over the months, caring for Akihito no longer felt like a babysitting job. Akihito spreads joy and laughter everywhere he goes. Akihito began to become the light of his life. 

And then now, without Akihito, he doesn’t know what to do. His whole purpose- to protect and care for Aki-chan- is null. He’s free and trapped. He doesn’t know what to do without Akihito.

The lemon yogurt cake is still sitting in the fridge, next to the unopened anti-nausea pills. Akihito would have loved it. Suzuki can picture it clearly: how Akihito’s little face would brighten, how he would grin, and make cute little noises of amazement. Of how he would hum with happiness when eating it, of how his eyes would widen. How the cake and frosting would get all over him, and Suzuki would have to clean him up again, scolding the boy all the while. How much he would enjoy the cake once he got better. Suzuki can imagine just how much soup Akihito would eat to taste the cake.

Aki-chan will not be able to eat the cake. By the time he gets well, the cake will have long gone bad. 

God. It was just a five minute trip to the konbini. Just a little surprise. He regretted being so harsh. He loves the kid. 

Oh, what has he done?

Suzuki leaves to enter the decontamination spray. Suited up in masks and gloves and shields, the man enters the sterile room where Akihito sleeps.

Akihito is still crying, even in a coma. The wings are so heavily bandaged they’re more gauze than flesh. The blond might never get function back into his wings, so heavily they bled. He might never fly again, just when he was learning to.

After a while, Kuroda joins him in silence. Just the two of them, side by side, watching the heart monitor and Akihito’s shallow, pained breathing. 

Oh, what has he done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feeling bloodthirsty now, might delete later


	14. Kiss and Make Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakazaki grins and walks to the bed. Every step is like a drumbeat to Akihito’s execution. “Hey. Sudou. Come here.”
> 
> The other man’s shoes step closer to the bed. A few seconds later, Sakazaki’s eyes peer at Akihito’s wide, terrified ones. The boy clutches Teremok tighter. Sudou joins them.
> 
> “Why, hello there.” Sakazaki smiles slickly.

“-death of five year old Yua Futano, who died from pneumonia complications and sepsis brought by starvation and malnourishment. It is reported that she was locked up inside her home, fed only soup, and was regularly kicked and beaten. The last hiragana she’s written in her journal was “Please forgive me. I won’t play anymore. I’ll try so hard to do better tomorrow than today. Please forgive me, forgive me.” Her death is one of the many child abuse deaths across Japan-”

Isn’t that what Akihito has? Pneumonia and sepsis with malnourishment? If his blood loss and organ failure won’t do him in, his pneumonia and sepsis would have done him a day later. It’s scary to think about. That Akihito could have died in the penthouse, without anyone knowing why or how. In some ways, his suicide attempt was a blessing in disguise. It got the blond to treatment faster than he would have otherwise. 

“Shut that off, Kirishima.” Kuroda sighs. What a clusterfuck. With the rising publicity of child abuse cases, if anyone finds out about Akihito Asami would be thrown under the bus quicker than one can blink. Forget the black-market gun dealings or clubs. Akihito himself can arrest the great Asami Ryuichi in less than an hour by just existing. Or dying. 

Oh, that boy. That poor little boy. Kuroda made him ask promises from every adult around him to keep him safe. But he failed Akihito. He didn’t think that it was his caretakers he needed protecting from. 

Asami knocks back a crystal of whiskey, pouring another. The bottle is halfway gone, and it’s not even midday yet. But nobody comments.

“Fuck.” Asami whispers. “How’s Akihito?”

“Still not responding to treatment. His condition is steady, though.”

Kuroda has not seen Asami this untethered since that fateful day in high school. From then on, nobody could shake Asami Ryuichi. But Akihito has wormed his way inside his best friend’s heart. Akihito has wormed his way inside everyone’s hearts, of every blood-soaked man he’s touched.

It’s clear that nobody has gotten sleep since Akihito slipped into his coma. 

Especially Suzuki. The man looks halfway to death’s door, with his designer eye bags. The man is riddled with guilt. But nobody dares to help him. The man spends day after day besides Akihito, listening to the weak, fluttering heartbeat. Shinji wouldn’t be surprised if the man hasn’t taken a shower or eaten in days. The man probably sleeps in that chair, too.

“Fuck.” Asami mutters again. Takes another swig of whiskey. FeiLong replaces the alcohol with orange juice. Asami raises an eyebrow but then gulps that down too, with no quippy rejoinder.

“How did you let it get this bad, Asami? I left him in your care.” FeiLong thunders. 

Yoh sighs from besides the BaiShe leader. Sits heavily into the visitor’s chair next to Akihito’s feet.

Leave a child in Asami’s care? Of course, Asami wouldn’t go within five feet of him. No wonder why things got this bad. Asami’s too afraid of messing up the kid. His best friend would be too cautious about tainting light with darkness, or whatever he thinks he is. 

What did FeiLong expect? Aren’t they long-lost lovers? Shouldn’t FeiLong know better?

What a clusterfuck.

**

Kuroda’s been swamped at work. There’s the Momohara case, then the diet member scandal. There’s the new Chinese mafia dipping their toes in Japan. And of course, the dozens of child abuse cases, one more gruesome than the other, now funneled to the police instead of the overwhelmed and understaffed child services. 

He rubs at his temples. He has a headache. He’s been having a headache since last week. 

Kuroda hasn’t visited Akihito today. He probably should. It’s getting dark already. 

Poor Akihito. The boy just turned one. He’s too young to die. 

And his case is a mirror to Yua Futano’s. When this gets out, the press won’t leave Akihito alone. 

Kuroda packs his briefcase and readjusts his tie. Makes out into the open Tokyo air. The moon is out. 

The wild pull: wolves howling, waves crashing. It reminds him of Akihito. Lots of things remind him of Akihito, now. 

**

_ 3 weeks later _

One day, Akihito wakes. Everything comes in murky, bloating flashes. 

His body is heavy. His eyelids are molasses. Tar baby. Eyes are the window to the soul. His soul is stuck, forever lost. Caught by it’s greed. 

He wakes. 

“Daddy?” He tries to croak. Nothing comes out. Nobody is here. It’s sterile, white. Beeps accompany his breaths. There are tubes winding up and down, everywhere. He lifts his head, only for it to fall back down. 

Everything is hard. There’s a vase of flowers and Teremok by his bedside table. His wings are spread, bandaged in white. The medical bracelet dangles on his wrist, right below the BaiShe tattoo. 

He’s alone. He wants someone, anyone, so bad. 

“Daddy.” He whimpers. He just wants someone to come and hold him. It didn’t work. He’s still alive. Oh, why is he still alive?

A man leans forward. Akihito rears back, but the only thing his body does is huff out a breath. His wings twitch. The man is tall. Scruffy. In a hospital gown, just like Akihito. Since when was the man here? 

The man bends over. Akihito’s medical bracelet seems to catch the man’s attention. The stranger’s face turns ugly and he snatches the bracelet off the boy’s wrist, sending it clattering to the linoleum. He whimpers. He promised daddy he’ll never take it off. But he didn’t take it off… so it doesn’t count?

Akihito opens his mouth, but then closes it. He’s scared. He tries to speak, but nothing comes out.

The man seems to come to a decision. “I’ll be your new daddy.” The stranger drawls, eyes alight in a not good way. It makes Akihito’s skin crawl. The man stuffs some papers into a bag from the foot of Akihito’s bed. A long pause. “I’ll take care of you better than your daddy ever did. I’ll treat you right.”

Shinji-ji said to tell an adult when he’s someone is scary. But isn’t the new man just being nice?

Akihito just wants everything to be over. The worst was supposed to be over, right? Why is he still hurting?

“Daddy…” 

“Shhh, shhhh.” The man croons, brushing Akihito’s hair from his face. The stranger starts to untangle his wires, to unplug the machines from the outlets. “You’re safe. You’ll be safe with daddy, Aki-chan.”

Akihito’s scared. He doesn’t like this. The man scans the room and takes Teremok from the bedside table. 

“Be good for daddy, Aki-chan.”

**

The man drives Akihito away in a van, shushing him whenever the boy whimpers. Then the man carries him like a princess up a flight of stairs to a cramped, sordid apartment. It looks and smells like the place hasn’t been cleaned since the man moved in.

There are hundreds of photography magazines and newspapers. Stacks of it overflow on the floor, the tables, the chairs, the countertops. There are old takeout boxes, dishes stacked a meter high in the sink, trash lining the floor. White maggots crawl out of the mess to greet him. 

Akihito recoils. 

Weirdly enough, the walls are taped floor to ceiling with photos of a girl. The girl is pretty and small and her smile is bright. Akihito wonders who she is. She doesn’t look related to the man. 

“Here’s your new home, Aki-chan.” The man bypasses the filth to set Akihito down on an unwashed bed. It’s the only space vaguely clear.

The man putters around, putting away things and cleaning. Akihito just wants his daddy. He wants his Suzu. He shifts on the bed. His hospital gown crinkles. 

“Daddy?” He croaks out. He’s so thirsty. The man pauses and turns around. 

“Yes, Aki-chan? Daddy’s busy, but daddy will get you something to eat and drink. You must be so tired, huh? Why don’t you sleep first?”

Akihito shakes his head. He just wants to go home. He lifts up his wrist with the BaiShe tattoo. Maybe the man will know what it means and take him to Fei. Fei will take him to daddy.

The man walks closer and his face turns ugly. “That-!” The unshaven man heaves. “That man is not your daddy anymore, Aki-chan. I am. Okay? I’m your daddy.” The man roughly grabs Akihito’s wrist.

Akihito recoils back, squeaking. 

The man seems to change moods at a drop of a hat. The man smiles. “Just relax and take a nap, okay, Aki-chan? Daddy will have lunch ready when you wake up.”

Akihito, scared out of his mind, obeys. He doesn’t dare move, tracking the man with his eyes, clutching Teremok. Eventually, he falls asleep.

**

A few hours later, Akihito awakes. From the bed, it seems like the kitchen is cleaner. There’s room to walk around, and there’s a lot less trash. There are still hundreds of photos of the girl lining the wall, though.

“You awake, sleepyhead? Daddy prepared some congee for you, baby.” The man croons. The congee is thick and burnt, but Akihito inclines his head in thanks. 

“Good boy, Aki-chan.” The man hums. “Make sure to eat all of it, okay?”

Grateful for some food, he reaches for the spoon. The man stops him. 

“Daddies feed their little boys, sweetheart. Open up.”

What? Oh. Does the man want to feed him? 

Weird. But okay. Akihito leans over and opens his mouth. The hospital gown crinkles. The first spoonful is hot, but he gulps it down. Finally. Food at last.

The man watches, mesmerized, as Akihito sips on the soup. “Let’s get you out of these hospital clothes, huh?”

After the bowl is finished and Akihito licks the spoon clean, the man returns with a dress shirt that’s five times too big for the boy.

“I don’t have any clothes your size, little guy. This will have to do for now.” The man murmurs to himself. The stranger nonchalantly tears the hospital gown from Akihito and leads the boy’s hands through the shirtsleeves.

The man, weirdly enough, stops and inhales sharply, staring at Akihito. The man licks his lips. “Oh, you’re a harlot. Look at you, pretending to be innocent.”

What?

Akihito wants the man to hurry up. It’s getting cold in only a dress shirt. He wants pants and socks and maybe a jacket. And some water. Man, he’s thirsty-

The man grabs his chin and growls. “Be good for daddy, slut.” And sticks a tongue inside Akihito’s mouth.

What the hell? 

“Stop!” Akihito turns his head and cries. He doesn’t like it. It’s disgusting. Akihito spits out the taste of rotten meat and stale bread. He doesn’t like it at all.

“Playing hard to get? Well, we can do it your way.” The man grins. Akihito’s scared.

The boy tries to flop over and crawl away, but he doesn’t get far with his atrophied muscles until the man grabs his hips and raises them. The stranger forces Akihito’s chest to the bed and his back to arch and kicks the boy’s knees open. 

“Stay, little boy. Oh, you’re so sexy.”

Akihito whimpers. It’s going to be like the men in the boat again, isn’t it? His nerves make him jittery. His heart is in his throat. Help, someone help.

He wants Yoh. But he sent Yoh away. He wants Asami. He wants Kuroda. He wants Suzu. He wants Misha. He wants Yuta and Haruto and Sakura and all his other guards. Just someone. He wants someone to help him.

But he’s always had to save himself. This isn’t new. Akihito can do this. Akihito knows how. 

“Help…” He quavers. “Daddy. Daddy!”

“Oh, yes, Aki-chan. Call for daddy. Daddy’s here.” The man moans. “Daddy’s here.” The stranger strokes a hand down Akihito’s neck and spine. He unravels the bandages on Akihito’s wings. There are long, silvery scars down the veins of his plumage.

Desperately, he searches inside himself. Is there any way-? There are old bonds, dissolving and half-transparent. It’s faded so much he almost didn’t notice them. It’s the protection he’s placed on Asami and Fei and Yoh back at the warehouse. 

Without hesitation, he tugs on the bonds with all his might. Someone, help him, please!

There’s no response. Of course not. 

Akihito’s on his own.

The man plunges fingers into Akihito’s hole. It burns, and the boy cries out. “Please!” He can’t see past his tears. His hair is standing on end, goosebumps rising up his entire body. His breath comes in short pants like he’s a dog.

“Good boy, Aki-chan. You’re taking it so well. Be a good boy for me and stay still.”

Akihito doesn’t want to be a good boy for the man. But he takes it. It’s all he can do. He can barely move. Whatever he does, the man can just drag him back into position. 

He does have something the man doesn’t, though. His unnaturalness. He can take and suck the man dry.

Akihito shudders. He doesn’t want to do that. He can’t allow himself to do that. He can endure and take it. It has to end sometime, right?

But nobody knows where he is. It’s just him and the man here. He can be locked in here for days, months, without anyone the wiser. 

Nobody was there but the man when he woke up in the hospital. Maybe everyone forgot about Akihito. Maybe there really is nobody coming for him.

That thought settles like ice in his veins. That’s most likely what happened. After all, if people did remember Akihito, they would be in the hospital room when he woke up, right? They would leave personal artifacts. There would be something, something to prove that they were there.

But there was nothing. Just Teremok and some flowers. And that man.

Maybe Fei finally decided to sell him to be fucked and drugged up for the rest of his life. Maybe the man is who Akihito’s been sold to. 

Maybe this is a punishment. 

Akihito closes his eyes. He’s too tired to keep them open. Of course, it’s a punishment. He’s a bad boy. That’s all he ever is. It’s the only thing that makes sense. He complained too much about the last one and gave everyone trouble, so he’s being punished again. It’s only fair. 

“There we go. Shhh. Just submit. You’re such a good boy for me, Aki-chan.”

Akihito snivels into the dirty sheets. 

The man stabs more fingers into his hole. His muscles flutter from the pain. 

“Please. I’m a good boy.” He sobs. 

“Yes, you’re such a good boy. So beautiful. Be obedient and take it.”

He reaches for Teremok. Buries his face into the fur. It hurts so much.

The man finally stops. Akihito sighs in relief, but then something larger pokes at his hole. “No, no, please! I’m a good boy, I’m a good boy, I’m a good boy-” He chants. It doesn’t work.

“Such a good boy.” The man agrees. And thrusts in.

Akihito screams. 

This is his worst nightmares come to light. It’s a nightmare, right? He can wake up. Please, let him wake up. Wake up, Akihito. Wake up, wake up.

No matter what he does, he doesn’t wake. The thrusting doesn’t stop. The hurt doesn’t end. His screaming doesn’t cease.

“Daddy! Please!”

The man, above him, moans. “Oh, yes. Clench up like that, whore. You’re grabbing at my cock. You want more, huh?”

Take it like a good boy, he tells himself. Take it. Take it. Be a good boy. This is a dream. Nothing is real.

He. He can just take. Suck the man dry. The golden energy is just there, for grabbing. So ready. And he’s so hungry. He can just take a sip, right?

Just a sip. Just one.

Akihito opens his maw. Golden energy rams into him like floodgates have opened. 

He tries to clamp shut, but. It just. It tastes  _ good _ . He can’t help but eat more. Just a little bit more. It’s been so long.

The stranger moans in delirious pleasure and the rod inside him gets harder. 

Akihito’s wings flutter. He feels energy lining his bones, building up his muscles, and strengthening his body. The scars on his wings fade. Fire bursts between their bodies. The boy opens his eyes. 

The man catches on fire. Akihito, shocked, jerks backward and tries to rein the blaze back. But he’s too late. The man is incinerated so fiercely there are not even ashes left. The fire disappears, as suddenly as it came. Nothing else was burnt. The air doesn’t even have the lingering taste of smoke.

He feels stronger. He can move. Breathing is easier. Everything is brighter. 

There’s banging and someone bursts in. The world narrows and focuses on the apartment again.

He can move, but fear cements him to the bed. Slowly, he moves to crawl under the bed. He can barely fit, but he does. Teremok disappears underneath last.

There’s a blond man and a dark-haired man. He can see their shoes.

“Look at all these photos. Fuck. What a perv. Honestly, no wonder why Momohara was so scared she went to you.” The blond man grumbles, kicking at a dirty pile of laundry.

“You’re not so perfect yourself, Sudou.” The black-haired man replies with a chuckle. “But man, you’re right. What a perv. Well. We definitely have the right man. So the question is, where is he?”

Oh no. Akihito’s wings are still out. Hurriedly, he retracts them. He winces when they hit the bedpost.

“What was that noise, Sakazaki?” 

“It came from the bedroom.” Akihito spies two pairs of feet hurrying to the bedroom. His heart palpitates. They’re getting closer. 

“Weird. There’s nothing here.” Sudou mutters. “Thought it might have been a cat or something.”   
  
“You think a slob like Onoda Mitsugo can keep a cat alive? Pah.” Sakazaki stops at the bed. The man’s shoes are close enough for Akihito to reach. He doesn’t dare move. Or breathe.

“Hey. What size is that stalker guy?”

“In clothes? He’s a 32-year-old gravure magazine writer turned attorney assistant. He's like all the other boring salarymen. What size do you think he is?”

“...Sakazaki. This is a child size small.”

The raven-haired man’s feet shuffle to the other man. “Shit.” He hears the distinct rustling of the hospital gown. 

A pause. “Sudou.” The man hisses. “The bed’s still warm. He’s- someone is still here.”

“Well, they’re definitely still in this room then. Close the door.” The men fan out. The bedroom door locks closed. One of them throws the closet open, but the only things in it are more photographs of the girl and cameras. The other man starts to shift the mess of dirty clothes everywhere, stomping around.

Akihito concentrates on controlling his breathing, trying not to wheeze while inhaling all the dust accumulated under the bed. His heartbeat thrums through his ears, so loud he’s sure everyone can hear him.

His limbs tremble. Please, please, don’t look under the bed. There’s nothing here, I’m nothing, I’m not here.

Sakazaki sighs and crouches down to pick up a photograph of Momohara that’s fallen to the floor. “Honestly, what a sleaze. Stalkers like them always make troub-” The raven-haired man stops mid-sentence as his head turns. Akihito stays still, breath shuttered in his lungs. Shit. Did the man see him? “Bingo.” The man whispers.

Sakazaki grins and walks to the bed. Every step is like a drumbeat to Akihito’s execution. “Hey. Sudou. Come here.”

The other man’s shoes step closer to the bed. A few seconds later, Sakazaki’s eyes peer at Akihito’s wide, terrified ones. The boy clutches Teremok tighter. Sudou joins them.

“Why, hello there.” Sakazaki smiles slickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The case of Yua Futano indeed was one of a series of child-abuse deaths in Japan that spurred the government to ban the use of corporal punishment on children in late 2019. It sure would be a good idea for a society with such a low birth rate and one of the highest child-abuse cases per capita to impose restrictions on... hmm... the abuse of children? So that more children survive and become adults? What a novel idea!
> 
> Anyway, I am glad that Japan finally stepped up. It's about time. Unfortunately, I think that family/domestic disputes and other injustices will still be treated as a "family matter" and not something outsiders should be involved in for a long while yet. The culture that freely perpetuates child abuse is not something easily done away with by just a law. It takes time. Years. Generations for real change to happen. Hopefully, that change will happen soon enough to save more lives while it can.


	15. Please, Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That’s better. Beg nicely. And maybe I’ll be nice to you. Now listen to me and answer my questions. Where is Sakazaki, and what did you do to him?”

“Takaba Akihito. One and a half years old. Abused. Suicide case.” Sudou reads from the pile of papers. It must be his medical records. “It reads like shit. Look, here. Sepsis, blood loss, blood poisoning, malnourishment, pneumonia, organ failure, shock, and a month long coma. No wonder nobody wanted this to get out. It sounds exactly like Yua Futano. If anyone got wind of this, the entirety of Japan would be up in arms. Again.”

Sakazaki tuts. “No way that boy is a year and a half. You think I was born yesterday?”

“Look at it yourself, smartass.” Sudou quips back, throwing the papers to the other man.

A few moments of quiet pass. “Wait. Sudou. Wasn’t that tree incident around a month ago?”

“... yeah? What about it? It was hush-hush. Weird, but I’ve seen weirder. Seems like a few kids and single moms just got high on drugs together and had a collective hallucination. Must have been something in the fountain.”

Sakazaki shifts, raising an eyebrow. 

“No way. I know it sounds shifty, but it’s not like those kinds of things can happen. Magic doesn’t exist.”

“Or does it?” Sakazaki sighs. “Obviously, some of the file is not here. And other parts are redacted. But why would parts of a patient file be redacted? And of all the incriminating parts, why not have the abuse part be redacted?”

The two men turn to stare at Akihito. The boy whimpers and grips Teremok tighter, curling into himself. He’s on a bed in an empty room someplace underground with lots of girls dressed up pretty like they’re princesses. It’s like an underground hotel. But how would people know to come here to sleep if there’s no sign saying this place is a hotel?

“Take me home, please.” He whispers. It’s the first thing he’s said to them. “I’m a good boy.”

Sakazaki smirks like the cat’s got the canary. “Well, your home isn’t a safe place to be. You’re staying here, sweetie.” The man smiles like he’s never tried to talk to kids before and doesn’t know how. It comes off creepy. Sleezy.

Sudou leans on the backrest of his chair and throws the files on the desk, putting his feet up, silent and watching in curiosity.

Sakazaki straightens up and leans over Akihito. The boy wraps the dress shirt tighter around himself and clenches his teeth. Breathe, Akihito. 

“Why don’t you tell us about your home? Who’s your daddy and mommy? What do they do?”

Akihito shakes his head. He doesn’t want to. He just wants to go home. 

The men ask him other questions, but Akihito stays silent. The more worked up the men get, the more his mouth clamps shut. He tries to squeeze himself under the bedcovers.

“Akihito-chan. I see you don’t like talking. How about a deal? You’ll tell me answers to any question I ask, and I will return you home.”

“Sakazaki-!” Sudou protests. Sakazaki shakes his head at the other man, and the fake-blond man settles back into his seat, albeit unhappily. 

Akihito nods. That sounds fair. He lifts up his pinky. Sakazaki smiles and hooks his pinky to Akihito’s. The man’s smile is greasy.

“Good boy.” The man sits on the bed and cages Akihito, petting the boy’s head. He trembles. “First question. Who are your mommy and daddy?”

His mommy and daddy? Who would they be? Definitely not his biological parents. They probably forgot he existed a solid decade ago. “Fei-Fei and Ryu-Ryu.” He admits.

“Fei-Fei and Ryu-Ryu?” The man repeats. It takes a few seconds for the information to compute. “FeiLong and Ryuichi? Asami Ryuichi?”

The boy nods. Holds up the wrist with the Baishe tattoo. The sleeve of the dress shirt slips enough for the oroborus to be visible. 

Sudou sucks in a breath. “I need a moment.” The man steps out of the room.

“What magic can you do?”

Akihito doesn’t have any magic. He shakes his head. 

Sakazaki laughs and puts a hand on the small of Akihito’s back. Akihito stills and retracts his wrist. “If you don’t have magic, what do you have?”

“I want daddy.” Akihito whispers miserably into Teremok. “Take me back to him, please.”

The hand on his back wanders lower, smoothing over his flank. It stops and lifts. “You’re wet here. Did you sleep with Onoda?” Sakazaki sneers.

Akihito shakes his head. He didn’t sleep with Onoda. He slept on Onoda’s bed while Onoda was making soup.

“Liar. Your body tells the truth. You’re a whore, aren’t you?”

He doesn’t understand the words, but he understands that it’s supposed to hurt him. That it’s ugly. Bad.

“I’m a good boy! I’m a good boy, I swear-”

“If you’re a good boy, tell me why there’s cum in your dirty little hole.”

The words stab something nasty and mean into Akihito’s heart. It’s sharper than the knife in the kitchen. “Because he stole Aki away and was mean. Aki didn’t like it. He was so, so mean to Aki. It hurts.” He cries out. The words are hard to say, sticking in this throat and getting stuck in his mouth.

“So you’re Onoda’s little whore. Tell me, are you Asami’s fuckhole too? FeiLong’s? Mikhail’s There was a big ruckus about a boy a couple months back. I bet it was you.”

Akihito shakes his head. He doesn’t understand, but he understands enough. He just wants to go home. Why can’t he go home? “Please, I want daddy.”

“Of course you want him, you whore.” Sakazaki runs a large hand over Akihito’s thighs and ass. “I wonder what kinds of charms you’ve worked to ensnare men like Asami and FeiLong.”

Akihito whimpers. “I don’t have magic.” He protests.

“Spread your legs. C’mon, be a good boy.” Sakazaki flips the boy around and clamps Akihito’s hands above his head. The man trails his fingers down Akihito’s chest and nipples, his belly button, his hole. “Look here. Your hole is so greedy, sucking in my fingers.”

Akihito sobs. He just wants to go back home. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it good for you.” The digits search for something, and then hits a bundle of nerves. “So what do you have, if not magic?”

Akihito can’t help but moan. His legs spread and his back arches. His breath shortens. “Nothing! I’m normal!”

“That’s a lie. But that’s okay. I’ll wring the answer out of you soon. There we go.” The man murmurs. “Surprisingly good, isn’t it? I’m good with men. Or boys, in your case.”

Akihito whimpers and his legs shake. His knees open wider and wider. His bones pop to stretch his body open like a flower blooming. It feels so good. White-hot pleasure runs through his veins, in the pool of his belly. His inner muscles clench and unclench rhythmically. His hips jerk, trying to impale himself further.

“Be a good boy. Take everything I give you.” Everything feels too much. It’s overwhelming. 

“Daddy… help…” He croaks. 

“You’ll be with your daddy soon, little boy.” 

Just as he escaped one bad man, another came. There’s nobody else here. Should he burn this man just like how he burned the one before? It stopped the hurt, if only for just a bit. 

But he promised not to use his unnaturalness anymore. Look how that turned out. He doesn’t want to kill. But it hurts so much.

Does it, though? It doesn’t hurt as much as feels too good. He wants it to stop, but he doesn’t at the same time. 

He just wants his daddy. He wants someone to come and cradle him and shield him from pain. He wants it to stop.

For the second time that day, fire roars. This time, Akihito knows what he’s doing.

**

Akihito finds a spare outfit from the dresser next to the bed. It’s full of costumes. He chooses the least eye-watering one. It’s girly, but it’s clothing. He doesn’t care. 

He throws the clothes on and dashes out the door with Teremok. The hallway stretches into a confusing maze. Which way did he come in?

Ah. There are girls out in the common area in the very front of the hotel. He’ll follow the congregation of heartbeats.

After a few wrong turns and he finally emerges into the large common space. Girls of all looks and ethnicities startle at his entrance. One of them looks exactly like the girl in the photos of Onoda’s apartment.

“What can I do for you, honey?” One of them breaks the silence. 

“I need to get home. Please, pretty lady, can someone take me home?” His voice breaks. All he ever wanted was to go back home.

He needs to go back home before Sudou realises Sakazaki is gone. He needs to leave. But where is here? And where is home?

“Oh, sweetie.” The woman’s eyebrows draw together. “What’s your name?”

“Takaba Akihito.” He chokes out. Why are tears squeezing out of his eyes now? “And this is Teremok.” When he says  _ Teremok _ , he switches to Russian. 

“Like Teremok the bear? Very clever.” A blond woman with a Russian accent interjects. Akihito nods. It is very clever.

“Aki-chan. Can I call you that?” The first woman touches his shoulder. Akihito nods. “Aki-chan, how did you come here?”

His breath hitches. “There was a man. He stole me away. And then two other men came and stole me away some more! And now I’m here.” He finishes. “I just want to go back home.”

“Do you know where your home is, Aki-chan?”

“It’s a big place, high up! You can see lots of sky.”

“That’s very helpful. Do you know anyone we can contact to help you home? Do you have anyone you want to call?”

Akihito nods. But he doesn’t know anyone’s phone number. “I don’t know phone numbers.” He murmurs, dejectedly. “But my daddy is very busy! He meets people every day! So maybe you’ve met him before and know him.”

“Maybe.” The girls take the information in very seriously. “What’s his name?”

“Daddy’s name is.” He thinks back to the medical bracelet. It was Asami Ryuishi? No, that doesn’t sound right. Asami Ryuichi. Ah. “Daddy’s name is Asami Ryuichi!”

Some of the girl’s faces pale. “Is your daddy a businessman?”

Akihito nods. They know his daddy! “Can you help me go back home?”

The girl from Onoda’s photos pipes up. “I can, Aki-chan. Don’t worry. I’ll get you back home.”

“You sure, Ai-chan?” One of the girls flutters her hands. “How about your stalker? I can do it. I have nothing to lose.”

“Stalker?” Akihito interrupts. “Was he a tall, ugly guy who has tons of photos of you in his apartment?”

Momohara stares at Akihito. “...yes, he is.”

“Oh! He won’t bother you. Did he hurt you?”

“What do you mean, Aki-chan? Why won’t he bother Ai-chan anymore?”

“Because he’s not here anymore.” Duh. “Are you pretty ladies hurt anywhere?”

Maybe if he heals them they will help him get back to daddy quicker. 

The ladies look confused. “Um. We’re alright for now. Are you hurt, Aki-chan?”

Can he trust these ladies? Shinji-ji told him to tell adults when he’s hurt. Akihito thinks maybe he’ll try. Maybe Shinji-ji can be right.

“I. Aki hurts. Down in Aki’s  _ no-touchy area _ .” He whispers the last part. “But! It’s okay. Because Aki’s used to it.” He’s had lots of experience. It’s nothing new.

“Oh, Aki-chan.” Ai-chan says. The first lady he talked to covers her mouth with her hand. 

“Can someone take me home? Please? I’ll heal you! Just. Please. Please take me home before the man who stole me finds that I’ve run away!”

That seems to wake the girls up with urgency.

“I’ll take you home, Aki-chan. Take my hand.” Just when Akihito is about to take Ai’s hand, Sudou marches in. 

“Takaba Akihito! Get back here!” The man yells. 

Akihito squeaks. He scans the room for exits and runs towards the door opposite to Sudou. He tries to open the door, but the door is locked. Deja vu hits him.

Momohara tries to take his hand. “Momohara, if you get involved, you’ll be in big trouble.”

“It’s okay. Don’t get involved.” Akihito whispers. He tried. Adults can’t help him. He learned his lesson.

Momohara shakes her head. Akihito doesn’t care. He can’t drag other people into his problems.

Akihito yells. “Pretty ladies, go! I’ll be okay!” He searches for another door. The only other exit is the one Sudou came from. 

Vaulting above the couches, Akihito runs full out to Sudou and then slides between the man’s stunned legs into the corridor. He doesn’t know where he’s going, but somewhere must have a window.

He enters the bathroom and right above the sink is a tiny window the size of a notebook. Akihito can fit in there. He must fit in there. 

Hauling himself up the sink, he jams the window open as far as it can go and sticks his right leg into it. He grabs the window ledge with his hands. As he swings his left leg into the window, Sudou slams open the bathroom door and hauls Akihito back inside. 

Akihito fights the man all the way. “No! Let me go! I want to go home!”

“You brat! Stay still and be obedient!” Sudou slaps Akihito clean across the face. The boy is shocked into stillness for a precious few seconds that Sudou uses to manhandle Akihito to a private room.

Akihito raises his hand to his cheek. He… he was just slapped.

“I see you’re in sore need of a reminder to listen to your betters, little boy. You listen to me or they’ll be more where that came from.”

No. He needs to get away. He needs to escape! Akihito resumes struggling in Sudou’s grip. 

Sudou throws Akihito onto the bed and delivers slap after slap to Akihito’s face, ears, and throat. Akihito struggles to see, hear, and breathe. He’s crying, hard.

“There you go. So you only respond to discipline, huh? Should have known. Brats like you are just begging for someone to take you to hand.”

“Please.” He rasps out. 

“That’s better. Beg nicely. And maybe I’ll be nice to you. Now listen to me and answer my questions. Where is Sakazaki, and what did you do to him?”

  
  



	16. Insomnia Mares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The starting bid price is 4 million.”

“Takaba Akihito. Year and a half old. Angel. You’ll want this one.” Sudou passes the man Akihito’s medical files. 

“Look, Sudou. I know you’ve done lots for us. But we’re not dumb. Angels don’t exist. Stop trying to sell us a subpar product.”

“I’m not joking this time. Akihito. Open your wings.” Sudou prods the silently crying boy in the stomach with a polished Italian leather shoe. “Or else I’ll spank you again.”

Akihito hangs his head. And opens his wings.

The grizzled human trafficker stares. “You’re not kidding.”

“Yeah, no shit I’m not kidding. Now give me 80% upfront. Or else no deal.” Sudou grits out. 

“Fine, fine. 80% now. The money will be wired into your account by the next hour.”

Sudou smirks. “See you later, little boy. You better hope your new daddy treats you as nicely as I did.” And leaves the warehouse without a backwards glance. 

“Shit.” The stranger runs a hand through his hair. 

“Are you going to take me home?” Akihito dares to whisper. He retracts his wings. “I want daddy.”

The man whirls around. “Fuck. Kid. Kid? You’re a kid, right? Shit.” The man takes a breath. “Look. Your daddy just sold you. Probably to cover up for all the embezzling he does. But that’s besides the point. Akihito. Aki-chan. You’re going to be auctioned to the highest bidder tonight. From now on, you’re not going to be treated as something living. You’re going to be treated as a product. It’ll do you good to get used to it now.”

Akihito misses Teremok. Teremok is still in the underground hotel. 

“Fuck. This is not the way we’re supposed to do things.” The man curses more to himself. “Kid. What do you eat?”

Eat? Does the man think he eats things humans don’t eat?

“Milk?”

“Of fucking course.” The man smacks his forehead. “Yeah. Should have expected that. You’re not even two years old, for fuck’s sake. Two goddamn years old. I shouldn’t be surprised by this shit anymore, but I still am. Honestly, how sick can some people get…”

**

Akihito silently sucks on a bottle of formula. It’s cold, but it’s something to soothe his stomach. As the hours pass, more and more people of all different colors and ages are chained and shoved into the room he’s in. 

Akihito is laying on a blanket, eyes wide and watching the people. All of them are drowsy and clumsy, eyes barely open. 

“Mr. Beard Man?” He whispers, reaching over to tug on the man’s pants. 

“Want another bottle, kid?”

Akihito nods. He would like another one. He’s still hungry. “Why are the people sleepy? Are we all going to have a sleepover?” The boy hands the bottle over to the man. Akihito was just suckling at the nipple on the empty bottle the last few hours.

“They’re sleepy because they’re about to be sold off, kiddo. It’s so they don’t panic. Screaming products aren’t very palatable, you see.” The man seems to gather himself. “I’ll get you another bottle. Hey! Ivan! Mind picking up some formula and a few bottles of water? I’ll keep an eye out on the products while you’re gone, don’t worry.”

Ivan, a burly man fitted with kevlar, grunts and walks over to Akihito’s mat. “You better watch over them. I’ll be back in 5 minutes tops. If anything happens to the products, it’ll be on your head.”

Mr. Beard Man laughs nervously. “I know, I know. I’ll pay you back.”

Ivan leaves.

Mr. Beard Man kneels down and holds Akihito’s gaze. “I’m sorry I can’t do more, Aki-chan. When you grow up, I hope that the one thing you’ll remember about this is that it isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. Okay? You got that, little guy?”

Akihito nods. It feels important. 

“Okay.” The man sighs. “You’re a good boy, Aki-chan.”

Akihito opens his arms in the universal sign for up. The man laughs in surprise. 

“You want up?” Akihito nods, and the man lifts the boy by the armpits to settle on the man’s hip. Akihito links his arms around Mr. Beard Man’s neck and snuggles into the warmth, smiling in contentment. The man is stiff and awkward for a few moments before relaxing. “Cuddly little guy, aren’t you?”

Akihito makes vague bubbly sleepy noises. 

“Aw, you’re so cute. Look at your dimples.” Akihito misses Yoh and Suzu and daddy. He wishes they could be here, cuddling him and soothing away his anxiety and wiping away his tears. Bouncing and singing him to sleep. He just wants to feel another familiar heartbeat. He misses them so, so much. 

“I miss daddy.”

“I know you do, little bud. I know you do. I’m sorry.”

That’s all adults say these days. Sorry. Akihito’s tired of it.

**

Akihito wakes and there’s no more Mr. Beard Man. The bottle is still in his mouth. There’s a thin sheet above him, and so many heartbeats all around him. What-?

“-And for the finale, we have an angel.”

The sheet is torn off him and he blinks against the brightness. 

“Only a year and a half old. So you get to raise him to your liking.” The announcer winks. “He’s free to a good home.” The crowd laughs. He can hear the murmur of many people. There’s the clinking of dinner utensils on porcelain. 

The announcer bends down to Akihito, ripping the bottle out of his mouth. “Show your wings, boy.” 

Akihito whines. He doesn’t like the people. He doesn’t like how everyone is watching him. He turns the other way so he can’t see all the people he knows are there. There’s a spotlight on Akihito. Everything is in shadow. He smells a bit of eucalyptus. He misses Suzu.

The announcer laughs into the microphone. “Excuse me, just a little mishap.”

Akihito shrinks from the announcer’s approaching hand. He sits up and leans away. 

“Show your wings now, boy. You’re not doing yourself any favours.”

Akihito shakes his head and slides his feet under him, steadying himself and then trying to toddle away. He wobbles and falls.

His feet and legs aren’t cooperating. He feels like a toddler, trying to run away from a bathtime.

His mouth presses into a frown, his chin wobbling. He doesn’t want the man. He wants to run away. He just wants to go home. 

He feels tears coming on. Why is it always like this? The announcer strides to where he’s fallen and sticks the bottle back in Akihito’s mouth. The man’s grip on his arm is tight as he’s dragged back into the spotlight. 

“Show your wings, boy.” 

Akihito, eyes and cheeks wet, slowly unfurls his wings. 

The man taps the microphone. “As you can see, ladies and gentlemen, we have a little escape artist here.” Some tittering in the crowd. “He still hasn’t quite learned to walk and fly yet. In any case, you can get his flight feathers clipped here before he goes home. Don’t worry, it’s complimentary.” The man chuckles.

Akihito retracts his wings but some men grab his wings. He unlatches from the nipple and tries to shake the men off, but the grip on his delicate pinions are crushed even harder. The bottle falls with a thud to the floor.

“The starting bid price is 4 million.”

Akihito doesn’t hear anything else. He’s being bidded? Sold off? It’s his worst nightmare. It’s just what FeiLong said about what will happen to him. To bad boys.

The boy tries to wriggle away harder. His breaths come faster and faster. He hiccups. “Let me go, Misters! It hurts!” Feathers bend and break under their hands. Tufts of pinions fall to the floor.

“Stop wriggling, brat.” One man slaps Akihito’s upper arm open-handedly. Akihito stills and bursts into miserable tears. 

In the background, people continue bidding. The price gets higher and higher, so high that Akihito isn’t sure if he knows how big they are. How much is a million? How much is a billion? He knows that there are a lot of zeros, but he doesn’t know how many. How much is a trillion?

“I want daddy!” He bawls in between his heaving breaths. One of the men returns with a full bottle and sticks it in his mouth, quieting him.

He takes to it and sucks. It’s the same cheap, chalky formula as this afternoon. It soothes him, though, and he latches easily. 

He wishes Yoh or Suzu is here with him. 

“Thank goodness one of us is good with kids.” One man remarks, relieved. 

Akihito mewls disconsolately. 

“Quiet, kid. Soon enough you won’t remember your daddy.” The man scoffs. “You’ll be living in the lap of luxury.”

Akihito doesn’t want to live in the lap of luxury. All he wants is Yoh and Suzu and daddy.

A few minutes later, he finishes his bottle. He unsuctions his mouth from the nipple, letting it fall to the ground. He’s tired.

The grips on his wings are not as hard. He tugs his wings a bit. They let him. In one motion, he shakes and arches them up, stretching the kinks. And then he folds the wings back in.

The men eye him, but he just reaches for the sheet and buries his face in it. It’s balled so that he can hug it like he hugs Teremok. 

Suddenly the announcer bangs his gravel. “Going once, going twice? Any-”

“Three billion!” Some indistinct voice yells from the audience. Akihito can’t pay attention.

“Three billion. Going once, going twice. Aaaaand that’s it, folks! Angel is going to Suzuki-san!”

The men take him by the shoulders and tug him away to a familiar room. All the other people he’s seen earlier are here. Some men wander around, looking at the chained people. One of the chained people whimpers. 

Akihito stares closer. The arm of the person is bent at a weird angle. Is it broken? It must hurt lots for them to be crying in their sleep.

The men deposit the boy next to the chained person. 

“Hey.” He whispers, nudging them. But they don’t respond. Akihito feels bad for them. He checks around if anyone is looking at him. 

He doesn’t see anyone noticing him. Good. 

Taking a breath, he gently leads a string of gold to the person’s arm. Slowly, the purpling skin clears and the arm straightens. The bone pops into place after a few seconds. Akihito rears back, shocked, but then continues healing. 

When he looks up, everyone awake in the room is staring at him.

“I’m sorry!” Oh no. Everyone knows about his unnaturalness now. More of his unnaturalness. He thought nobody was watching him? How did it come to this? “I.” He sniffles. “I want daddy.” He snivels, as softly as he can.

He’s so tired. He just wants someone to comfort him. 

Some men approach him. “Stick out your wings, Angel.” 

Akihito doesn’t want to. He crosses his arms and sits criss-cross apple-sauce. One of the men lifts him by the arm and pops three smacks to his butt. The blond yelps.

“Stick out your wings, or there’s more where that came from.”

Reluctantly, Akihito unfurls his wings. Immediately, the men each grab a hold of a wing. A third man comes forth with scissors. Their grips rip out some feathers. It hurts, so much. He tries to shake them off, but they’re too strong.

As the blade touches his feathers, Akihito screams at the top of his lungs, struggling as much as possible. The men ignore him as they cut his flight feathers. 

He feels his soul is being cut away with every snip. His shrieks alarm the other prisoners. Some of the men milling around congregate in a circle around him, chuckling along.

The man holding his left wing slaps him soundly across the face. “Shut up, little birdie. Or else I’ll give you a reason to cry.”

Akihito can’t stop screaming. His voice pitches even higher as the scissors slice more of his iridescently white feathers. One of the men sighs, losing patience, and starts spanking him hard across his thighs and posterior. 

The blond chokes in between his screeches. 

Suddenly there are popping sounds in the showroom. Lots of people scream. The men curse and get up, disregarding Akihito. They scramble and duck and hide. 

Akihito hates the sound of guns. 

His shoulders shiver. He covers his ears. He’s belly to the ground, flat down, whimpering into the concrete. The remnants of his wings drip blood onto the floor. Every pop makes him press his hands tighter to his ears, to shut his eyes more firmly closed. 

Someone grabs his arm. Another person picks him up and the boy squirms, trying to get away. 

“Aki-chan! Aki-chan. Hey, hey. It’s me. Mr. Beard Man. You’re safe now. I’m with the police.”

Akihito calms. His heart still beats frantically. “Will you take me back to daddy?” The boy clings to the man, burrowing his head into the neck. 

“We’ll try, Aki-chan.” 

**

Apparently, the police had undercover agents in the human trafficking ring are now busting the operation. 

Mr. Beard Man huddles in a dark corner with Akihito until there are no more popping sounds. He smells blood and death and hurt. The tinge of eucalyptus becomes stronger then dissipates. 

Ito-san hums little lullabies as he rocks Akihito. “Don’t be afraid. Everything will be alright.”

The frazzle of a radio breaks the silence. “All clear. Start extraction, plan K. Over.”

Mr. Beard Man says something back on the radio. But Akihito doesn’t pay attention. As Mr. Beard Man carries them out, amidst the destruction and wreckage and bodies, there lies Suzu. Suzu is not moving. Akihito can’t feel any life left in the man.

There’s something breaking inside Akihito. Suzu came to save him. Suzu is dead.

Suzu is dead. 

Akihito shivers. Everything is distant, close, and so so red. 

“What’s wrong, little guy?”

For a second, Beard Man’s voice overlaps with Suzu’s. And then he’s back to the present, in front of a police car, a blanket gently shrugged on his shoulders. 

Akihito buries his face into Mr. Beard Man and clings. He doesn’t let go until he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akihito does not get a break, does he. Fortunately, this is his last hurdle before he's home safe


	17. Love and Related Powers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aki gets a cute cameo

Akihito wakes to Mr. Beard Man trying and failing to tie the blond’s hair up. There are many other officers in the room.

“-settled the survivors into temporary housing along 45th and Park. We have thirty caseworkers working through with each of them right now. In total, there are fifty six survivors and twenty three of them have been reunited with their family. That leaves the rest of-”

The boy inhales. There’s no eucalyptus. Akihito thinks he might never smell eucalyptus again. 

“Aki-chan? You awake, bud?” Mr. Beard Man awkwardly pats the boy’s back. 

Akihito whines in response, hiding into Mr. Beard Man. There are so many people. “Where are we?”

“We’re in the bull room of the police station, Aki-chan. You’re safe.”

The man presenting stops. “You alright there, Ito-san?”

Mr. Beard Man smiles. “Yeah, I’m good. Can anyone get a bottle of formula real quick?” 

A young-looking cop nods and exits the room. Mr. Beard Man runs a hand over Akihito’s back.

The blond ducks his head out of Mr. Beard Man to look at the officers. The collective is grumpy and tired and smelling of blood. Some of them are hurt, but none of them are hurt that badly. The really hurt ones must be in the hospital. Or dead, like Suzu.

“Are your friends hurt, Mr. Beard Man?”

Some officers startle. Others chuckle. “Mr. Beard Man, hm?” One of them ribbs. 

“Yeah, Aki-chan. We’re hurt, but we’re good. Are you hurt?”

Akihito nods. His wings ache something terrible. He feels wrong-limbed like someone took something important away. He’s bound. Chained. 

His wings spread out of him. They’re great and mangled, terrible red monstrosities. Dried blood flakes off every time he moves them. Someone in the background gasps. A cup falls to the floor and shatters. “Hurts, Mr. Beard Man. Hurts lots.”

Akihito hugs Mr. Beard Man tight. It hurts so much. He’s always being hurt, it seems like. He’s tired of the hurt.

“Hurts lots and lots and lots. Please, help?” He whispers. 

The same young cop who returns with the warm bottle walks backward, out of the room. “I’ll-I’ll get some first aid!”

Mr. Beard Man sighs. “You must be in so much pain, huh? Poor baby.”

Akihito nods, miserable. “I want daddy.”

“I’m sorry, Aki-chan. Your daddy’s the one who sold you. I don’t think he’ll like taking you back.” Mr. Beard Man pats Akihito’s hair. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Captain. I’ll be back.”

**

Mr. Beard Man carefully cleans his wings in the police station’s locker room shower. The man entertains Akihito the entire time, making airplane noises and mimicking butterflies with his hands until Akihito joins. By the time the shower is finished, his wings are bandaged, and he’s dressed in an extra uniform that’s five sizes too large, Akihito is giggling and clapping along to very bad renditions of Studio Ghibli songs. 

The officer who was presenting in the bull room walks in. “Ito-san. Something urgent came up.”

“What is it, Yamanaka-san?” Mr. Beard Man straightens up.

Yamanaka looks pointedly towards Akihito who is still gleefully clapping his hands in the long, draping sleeves. 

Ito acquiesces. “Aki-chan, sweetie, I’ll be back soon, okay? Stay here and behave for me.”

Akihito nods. Where is Mr. Beard Man going? What is happening?

The two men exit the locker room. It’s just Akihito in here now. 

It’s boring. Akihito starts to rummage through the lockers. There are lots of interesting things in here. He presses the nozzle of one can. 

Oh! There’s some white stuff coming out. It’s foamy and smells nice. Akihito laughs. 

He presses it again. More white foam squirts out, landing all over the place. Akihito scoops some into his hands. Wow! When he claps, they make his palms stick together for a second. The foam on both hands forms peaks.

It’s like bubbles but better. Akihito squirts more and more until there’s none left in the can. The canister rattles on the tiles as it rolls away. 

Akihito’s giggles echo over the bathroom walls. The entire floor is filled with the foam. He gets on his belly and rolls in it. It’s really soft and fun! And it makes his skin look shiny!

There’s a gasp at the doorway, and then a click of a camera. Someone screams about him being cute. 

There’s more clicking of the shutters. Akihito looks up and giggles, clapping his hands with the foam. 

Another head pops in. It’s the man who got him the first aid kit. “Is that my _shaving cream_?” The man cries out, scandalized. 

**

After another bath, another change of bandages and clothes, and another round of older policemen and women taking photos, Akihito lies with his back on the cot, a cozy blanket thrown on top. An older policewoman hums him a lullaby while stroking circles on his belly under the blanket.

Akihito giggles. It’s tickly! It feels really nice. 

The woman smiles at him and leans down, dragging the blanket and oversized uniform up his stomach to raspberry him loudly right above his belly button. 

The blond can’t help but shriek in laughter and stomp his feet into the cot. Some other policemen look over fondly and shake their heads, going back to their paperwork.

There’s a bang on the door. Some heads look up. 

“Tanaka-san?!” 

A man on crutches limps in with great effort, looking ashen and smelling like a hospital. “Yeah, yeah. It’s great to be back. Anyway- oh. What’s this little guy doing here?”

One of the officers deigns to fill the man in. “Seeing as the little guy’s dad sold him off into that human trafficking ring on 60th ave, we can’t exactly return him home. And he’s not registered, so he’s staying here for the moment.”

A long pause. “Shit, is he the angel they were talking about?”

Akihito gurgles and reaches up to touch the man. The blond transfers some life energy into the man, concentrating hard to heal with the tiny bit of skin contact he has. 

The man retracts his hand immediately. “What was that, boy?” When the man steps backward in defense, the crutches fall to the floor. The man stands without the crutches. 

“Tanaka-san… your crutches…” 

“It’s not nice being hurt.” Akihito explains. He doesn’t like being hurt. Why wouldn't he heal others? Being hurt is not nice at all. 

Akihito reaches up again. The man stays stock still as the blond infuses ambrosia into the man until there’s nothing much left to heal. It only takes a few minutes. But those few minutes are completely silent. The blond can feel the dozens of hard stares. 

“Feel better, Mr. Crutch Man.” Akihito finishes with a pat on the man’s hand. “I hope you don’t get hurt soon again. It’s no fun being hurt.” The blond flutters his bandaged wings in commiseration.

The boy’s tired. He wants to sleep. He clutches to the bottle and starts sucking on it, supporting the glass with a hand. His big blue eyes look straight up at the dumbstruck man and policeman.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Tanaka mutters. 

People are still staring at him. Why are they? There’s nothing interesting going on. 

Akihito rolls over and sleeps, one hand entwined with Tanaka’s. 

**

“Su _shi_ ! Su _shi_!” Akihito chants, wriggling his butt in the chair of the breakroom.

“You sure like sushi, huh?” Yamanaka-san chortles. After a day, the man is finally softening up to him. 

Akihito empathetically nods his head. 

Tanaka-san sits down next to Akihito. Yamanaka opens the sushi box. 

The smell of death hits the blond like a freight train. He rears back, shocked. He hides in Tanaka-san’s shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Tanaka-san brusquely asks. 

“There’s. They were alive! And now they aren’t. I don’t want to eat them!”

Yamanaka, on the other side of the table, raises his eyebrows. “You… you mean the fish, Akihito-chan? You don’t like eating meat?”

Akihito nods. Who can bear to eat someone who had a life? Those fish were swimming happily in the ocean before getting trapped and caught and skinned and killed. Their final moments were torture. Akihito can read the echoes of life on the flesh. 

“I’ll make you a deal, kid. I like fish. I eat all the fish sushi, and you eat all the avocado ones. Sounds good?”

Akihito nods, shyly peeking his face out from Tanaka’s shoulder. “You really like fish?”

“Sure do. Now eat up, Akihito-chan.”

Akihito hesitantly reaches for a piece of sushi. Yamanaka-san and Tanaka-san encourage him in their own ways, cutting his sushi portions into tinier, more manageable ones so he doesn’t choke. Soon enough, Akihito is stuffing his cheeks full. He bets he looks like a chipmunk. It’s not his fault! The sushi is just too good.

He hears someone muffle a laugh and the clicks of a camera. Oh, why do they keep on taking pictures of him?

**

Sometime later Akihito is drawing with crayons. He hums a little tune* to himself. 

_On est bien peu de chose_

_Et mon amie la rose_

_Me l'a dit ce matin_

The color he uses most is red. There’s red everywhere. 

_Mon cœur est presque nu_

_J'ai le pied dans la tombe_

_Déjà je ne suis plus_

Oh, why did Suzu have to die? Akihito didn’t even get to say he’s sorry. Akihito didn’t get to do anything right yet. 

Tu m'admirais hier

_Et je serai poussière_

_Pour toujours demain_

It’s so unfair. He just wants to talk to Suzu, to hear Suzu’s heartbeat one last time. Why is it that people around him always die?

_On est bien peu de chose_

_Et mon amie la rose_

_Est morte ce matin_

One of the crayons cracks in his hands. He fishes for another crayon the same color. He’s got a lot more red to cover. 

“Aki-chan? What’cha got there, hun?” Ito-san smiles. 

Akihito holds up the sheets to Ito-san. 

The man’s smile strains. “Lots… of red there, honey. What is it?”

“Blood.”

“... that’s very nice. Do you want to tell me what this one is about?”

Oh. That one? “The people didn’t want Akihito to fly away back home, so they made Akihito hurt and then they clipped his wings? See here? They’re cutting off his wings!”

Ito’s face pales. “I see.” He answers shakily. A few officers stand stock still, not even pretending to go back to their paperwork. “What’s _this_ one about?”

“Someone stole Akihito away on a ship and told him to heal lots of people. So Akihito healed them. But the people started putting things into Akihito’s hole. It hurt lots. And then someone put a gun into Akihito’s hole and pop! Splat! Lots of red everywhere. See?”

In the background, someone heaves. 

“Yes...Splat.” Ito repeats. “Those pictures are very nice, Aki-chan. I see you’ve worked very hard on them. Why don’t we take a nap now, huh?”

“Okay.” Akihito’s tired. It’s a pity Ito didn’t ask about the picture of Suzu. He yawns, opening his arms up to be carried. Ito lifts him and settles the boy on a hip, careful of his bandaged wings. The man pops a warm bottle in Akihito’s mouth and runs a hand through the blond hair. 

“Sleepy little guy, hm?”

The boy nods into Ito’s strong shoulders. Ito holds him tight. Ito’s trembling as he carries Akihito to the cot. 

Akihito is glad that there are no camera clicks now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Mon Amie La Rose, sung by Natacha Atlas
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss8s3bhEHcM


	18. Grant Me Serenity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But if I have to ask, then daddy has to not take the last sushi! Ever! Or I’ll molest daddy again!”
> 
> And yes, the title is yet another Slaughterhouse 5 misquotation

Kuroda shakes Akihito awake. 

“Aki-chan! We’re here.” 

“Shinji-ji?” Akihito groggily asks. He thought everyone but Suzu forgot about him. 

“Oh, Aki-chan! We missed you so much! We were so worried.”

Behind Kuroda stands Asami and Kirishima. 

“Daddy!” He yells, waving. “OKei-Kei!” He wants to say more, but his throat suddenly closes up. Butterflies flutter viciously in his stomach. 

He remembers being bad. That he’s bad all the time. He remembers the pain in his chest, tearing him apart, breath by breath.

“That’s your daddy?” Tonoka mutters incredulously in the background. 

“ _ Asami Ryuichi?! _ ” Some cop whispers hysterically. 

Akihito’s face falls. He’s not happy anymore. He ducks his head, hiding in Kuroda.

“Let’s go home, Aki-chan.” Asami’s voice is the same serious intonation as ever. Akihito misses Suzuki. He thinks back to Suzuki’s voice, but he can’t quite place it. He’s forgotten Suzu’s voice already.

The thought shocks him. He feels more guilty. How could he have already forgotten parts of Suzu?

“Wait! Asami-sama. We. We had a good time with Aki-chan. He can visit us anytime.” The policewoman who sang him to sleep interrupts, thrusting a manilla envelope to Asami. 

The businessman opens the file. A multitude of photos spills out. Akihito in a mess of shaving cream in the locker room, clapping his hands. Akihito coloring, bandaged wings fluttering behind him. Akihito eating sushi, cheeks bulged. There’s even one of Akihito sleeping, lips still latched to the bottle, fist curled on Tanaka’s pinky. 

“Isn’t he the cutest? Look at those dimples! He’s our mascot now.” The woman coos. “So treat him well. If you don’t take care of him, I know I wouldn’t mind taking him in.”

“And I do too. He’ll fit in perfectly with my family.” Ito-san declares, arms crossed.

“Aye, mine as well. He’s easy to love and loves easily back. He’s stolen my heart, I’m afraid. If I see a scratch on him, I can’t help it that I’ll spirit him away.” Yamanaka winks at Akihito. 

“Me too!” Another policeman joins. Soon, everyone is chiming in. 

“You’ve got lots of friends here.” Tanaka murmurs to Akihito. “If you ever need someplace to go, come here. We’ll take you in.”

Asami smirks. “Well. I suppose more eyes on our troublemaker won’t hurt.” Asami nods at the officers, picks Akihito up, and carries the boy out of the station.

Akihito waves at the policemen over Asami’s shoulder. 

“Bye, Aki-chan! Stay safe!”

“Don’t forget to visit!”

“Come back soon!”

“Goodbye, cutie pie!”

A chorus of goodbyes echo. Akihito smiles toothily at the officers. They smile and wave more vigorously back.

The car door opens. Inside, there are people. 

Akihito takes a closer look. It’s Yoh! And Fei! The blond makes incomprehensible garbled excited noises. 

FeiLong chuckles. “Missed us, Aki-chan?”

Akihito nods a dozen times consecutively. Of course, he’s missed them! Adults ask the silliest questions sometimes.

Akihito clumsily climbs over to the two men and sprawls on both their laps. His arms circle around Yoh’s torso. FeiLong rests a hand on the small of Akihito’s back, petting him down his rump. Asami glares at FeiLong. FeiLong’s Cheshire smile retaliates back. 

Akihito knows it won’t be the same without Suzu. But at least for now, it feels the same.

**

Akihito is on the couch with Asami and Yoh watching TV. The nature documentaries always suck him into a pseudo-hypnotized state. 

The blue of the ocean is so vivid. The falcon dives headfirst, so fast it’s a blur on the camera. Then the bird opens its wings and claws. And it comes up with a fish longer than the bird itself. 

Akihito wonders if he can do it too. He daydreams about catching fish, about diving, about opening his wings in the expanse of ocean and wind. How sweet and salty the air must taste. How bright the sun. Akihito imagines spending carefree days with animals who will never hurt him.

Animals don’t hurt others on purpose. Only humans can kill in cold blood, can plan another’s suffering and take pleasure in it. 

Akihito imagines running barefoot across the wide planes, tasting the electricity of lightning in the air during the rainy season. 

“-chan!” The TV is turned off. 

Akihito swirls around. He feels off-kilter. The world returns at full force. It’s disorienting.

“There you are. Sorry to shake you out of hyperfocus. It’s dinnertime, Aki-chan.” Yoh smiles down at him. 

“Hyperfocus?” What’s that. Akihito shakes his head. There’s something vastly more important. “Dinner?”

“All of your favorites.” Asami reassures him.

The blond steadies his feet under him and then waddles as fast as he can to the dining room. 

“Slow down, Aki-chan. It’s not going anywhere.”

The table shocks something grim in him. The image of the bowl of soup haunts him. 

It’s the same table. Akihito sees a spot of dark brown next to a steaming pot of ramen. It’s some of his blood that wasn’t washed out.

The blond takes a stumbling step backward. He doesn’t dare breathe. FeiLong wipes his hand on a towel, returning cleaned dried knives into a lockbox. Kirishima unties his apron.

FeiLong stands up. “Breathe, Aki-chan.”

Akihito spins and runs back into the living room, his feet pattering on the hardwood floor. But he doesn’t notice. The beating of his heart is loud and whooshing in his ears. 

**

They end up eating in the living room, lounging on the couch and floor like a symposium. Eating on the indubitably expensive wool rug like that, with fingers instead of chopsticks. 

Akihito eats until his belly is bulging. 

“Slow down, little squirrel. The food’s not running away.” Asami nonchalantly lifts the blond’s shirt and palpates Akihito’s stomach, manhandling the boy. “You can eat more of it tomorrow. It’s time to take a break.”

“Mmngh!” Akihito shakes his head. He wants to eat more now. It’s too tasty. 

Asami lifts the last piece of sushi to his mouth. Akihito dives forward and nabs the sushi right out of Asami’s mouth with his teeth. He crows in victory, munching on the sushi. Tasty! But then he needs to swallow. Oh.

He swallows, with some difficulty. He’s so full. He regrets eating more. But he loves sushi...

FeiLong snickers into his long sleeves. “In-Indirect kiss!”

“What are you, a high-school girl?” Asami quips back. 

“Aki-chan, that wasn’t very nice.” Kuroda smooths a hand over Akihito’s fringe. Akihito’s back is to the carpet, legs bent so his feet rest on the floor. 

The blond makes a questioning noise.

“Remember our consent talk?”

Akihito shoots up to sit, eyes wide. “Oh no! I’m sorry I raped you, daddy! Are you okay?!”

Oh no, he’s such a bad boy, he just hurt his daddy so much-

Kirishima hides a snicker behind the back of his hand. FeiLong outright snorts. “You didn’t rape Asami, Aki-chan.”

“But! But!” He flaps his hands, helpless. “I’m  _ so  _ sorry!”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, Aki-chan. You didn’t rape him. You just molested him.”

Akihito hides behind his hands. That’s even worse!

“You’re not making it better, Kuroda.” Yoh shares a secret smile. “Akihito. What Kuroda means is that you should have asked for consent before kissing. This time, it’s okay. Just ask next time, okay?”

“Okay.” Akihito mumbles, peeking from behind his hands. “But if I have to ask, then daddy has to not take the last sushi! Ever! Or I’ll molest daddy again!”

“I won’t mind that.” Asami leers. 

FeiLong slaps Asami on the shoulder. “Stop that.” The Chinese man is all straight lines, serious. “He’s barely two, you cradle robber. At least wait a decade or two.”

“I’ll consider it, pot.” Asami takes FeiLong’s hand off his body. FeiLong withdraws, shaken.

“Treat him well.” Fei’s voice takes on a strangled quality. Yoh puts his hand on Fei’s knee. FeiLong takes a breath. “This is your last chance. Treat him well. Or else I’ll take him.”

“Is that a threat?”

FeiLong lifts his chin. “That’s a promise.”

“Mommy, daddy, don’t fight.” Akihito yawns into Akihito the Owl. 

FeiLong sputters. “Mommy?” He repeats, incredulously. 

“Your long hair doesn’t help.” Kuroda dares to add.

Akihito yawns again. Yoh sighs, unwinding the bandages from the boy’s mangled wings. “Aki-chan. Do you want me to pluck out the broken ones? I’m sorry. They must hurt.”

Akihito nods. He trusts Yoh. The blond lays out his wings flat. Yoh bends over and plucks each broken spine as gently and painlessly as possible. Akihito still whines and squirms in pain. By the end, he’s shivering and sweating. There’s a pile the size of two of his heads full of broken quills.

Asami runs a cool cloth on his forehead. “You’re good. You did so well.”

Akihito nods. He did so well. He’s good. His leg jiggles. At first, he thinks it’s from the pain. After a few breaths, he figures out it’s due to his full bladder. 

He tugs on Asami’s sleeves. 

“Bathroom, Aki-chan?”

Akihito nods. Asami motions to Kirishima for something. The man returns with three plastic stick things. The men stare at the sticks in stony anticipation. FeiLong especially seems strangely uneasy at the sight. What are they?

“Alright, let’s go.” Asami hoists Akihito up in a bridal carry. Akihito ate too much. If they don’t carry him, they’ll have to roll him. 

Asami slides down Akihito’s pants and briefs before seating the boy onto the toilet. The man noncommittally places all three sticks right under his pelvis. 

“You can pee now, Aki-chan.”

Akihito swings his legs on the toilet. Why pee on Asami’s hand? That’s weird. Akihito shrugs, and pees. 

Asami puts the sticks on the sink and washes his hands while Akihito pulls up his pants and flushes. Akihito bends over to lather soap on his hands. 

The man seems to be preoccupied with the sticks. 

Akihito finishes cleaning his hands and slowly sways his way out. Asami picks him up midway to the door and swings him to the man’s hip in a baby carry. The businessman has all three sticks in one hand. 

The men in the living room are on the edge of their seats. 

Asami slowly drops Akihito to the couch. Yoh immediately snuggles up to the boy. Asami lifts the blond’s shirt and his fingers search for something, doggedly palpating his lower stomach. Akihito’s legs wriggle a bit to the stimulation. The touch is ticklish, but not simultaneously. It’s weird. 

Kirishima takes a look at the sticks. “Boss. The results.”

Kuroda leans in. “Shit.” And leans back out, collapsing onto the arm cushion of the couch. He rubs the bridge of his nose from under his glasses.

Asami stares at all three sticks for a long beat. And then passes the sticks to FeiLong and Yoh. 

FeiLong curses in hawker Cantonese. Akihito doesn’t know what it means, but judging from Kirishima and Kuroda’s winces, it must be pretty bad.

“What is it?” Akihito finally asks, his curiosity burning. “Can I see?”

Yoh angles the sticks so Akihito can see. There are two pink lines in the middle of each stick. “Pretty. What are they?”

“Aki-chan, you’re going to need to take some pills tonight. Do you remember how to swallow pills?” Yoh finally chooses his words, diplomatically.

They’re not answering the question. Something’s suspicious here. But Akihito nods. He’s so good at swallowing pills. At least, he thinks he remembers how to swallow them. 

“That’s good, Aki-chan.” Kuroda breaks out a weak smile. “You know, It took me until high school to learn how to swallow pills. You’re such a fast learner.”

Akihito perks up. He’s a fast learner? That thought fills the boy with joy. He’s good at something!

Yoh brushes a hand down Akihito’s wings. “Hey, Aki-chan. Are those new flight feathers I’m seeing?”

Akihito lifts one wing up to the front of his face. Huh. It does look like some new tips are coming in. The broken quills were so itchy and painful that he didn’t notice them. 

The new feathers don’t look quite like flight feathers. They do look like flight feathers. Just… more golden. Sleeker. More like fire and less like physical matter.

Weird. Huh.

Akihito chirps in response. Suzu would have been amazed at his new feathers. 

“Where’s Suzu?” He smacks his lips, yawning and stretching. But oh. Wait. He already knows the answer. Suzu is dead. Suzu died trying to save him.

An awkward pause. 

Kirishima returns to the penthouse. When did the man leave? The secretary carries a paper bag. The man takes a pill packet out of it. 

“OKei-Kei!”

“The pill, boss.”

Asami nods and breaks the pill out of its plastic packaging. Yoh gets to his feet and fills up a glass of water from the kitchen.

“Here, Aki-chan.” Yoh places down the water. Asami places the pill in Akihito’s fingers. It’s big, but Akihito’s sure he can swallow it. 

The boy gathers his nerves. He can swallow it! He’s done it before. Taking a breath, he places the pill on his tongue and kicks back a gulp of water. 

The pill doesn’t go down. He’s starting to taste the medicine. It tastes terrible. He almost gags, but then goes for a second shot of water. 

This time, the pill goes down. 

“Great job, Aki-chan!” Kuroda praises. “That was hard work.”

“I swallowed!” Akihito crows victoriously. It was lots of work. He did it, though. He hides another yawn behind his elbow. 

“Sleepytime, Aki-chan?” Yoh places a warm hand on the boy’s shoulder. Akihito nods. He sure is sleepy. But he wants to stay with them. His entire family is here, with him. He doesn’t want any of them to leave. 

“Sleep with me?” He reaches for Asami and Fei and Yoh. The three men look at each other. 

“Whatever you want, Aki-chan.” Yoh breaks the strange tension. 

FeiLong breaks into a smirk. “Of course, Aki-chan.”

Asami nods and ghosts a hand at the nape of Akihito’s neck.

FeiLong growls back.

“What did I just witness?” Kuroda whispers to himself.

That night, Akihito sleeps soundly between his fortress of mafia men. Mommy, daddy, and Daddy are all together and happy. Or, at least, tolerating each other. 

Akihito hugs Yoh’s leg, entwines an arm in Asami’s large hand. FeiLong combs fingers into Akihito’s hair, braiding the long golden tresses. 

“Goodnight. Love you.” Akihito snuffles into the warmth.

Three choruses of “Love you”s reply back. 

Akihito smiles. He misses Suzu. But his heart is calm and warm, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this early (not on Monday) because there's a big storm coming and IDK if I'll have power or not


	19. Kiss Kiss Fall In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mommy and Daddy get closer.

“Teremok!”

Asami has produced a bear that looks exactly like how Teremok was when Akihito just got him. 

“He looks so healthy! Did he go on vacation?”

FeiLong, in the background, guffaws like a hyena. 

Asami nods solemnly. “Sir Teremok went on a long and bountiful vacation. He is ready for his solemn duty to eat yakisoba with you now.” 

“Yay!” Akihito reaches for the bear. Asami smiles genially and delivers the bear into Akihito’s hands. 

Akihito hugs Teremok tight. He’s missed his bear. The bear smells different. Like factory. Not like home. But he supposes Teremok will smell like home again soon.

Asami scoops up some noodles and Akihito opens his mouth to receive the scrumptious buckwheat goodness while Akihito fixes the bear’s squished face.

FeiLong appears from the bedroom in just a bedsheet fluttering behind him, naked otherwise. 

Yoh sighs and enters the kitchen from the bathroom. “New table?”

“Yakisoba. Help yourself.” Asami nods. Indeed, now that Akihito notices, it’s a completely different table with matching chairs. There’s even a high chair. What?

“Daddy! More!” He whines, pawing at Asami’s hand holding the chopsticks. He wants more Yakisoba.

Yoh pads into the island of the kitchen and starts on the dishes. Asami continues to feed Akihito little bits of Yakisoba indulgently, staring at Akihito’s lips and tongue. Yes, be jealous. That way, Akihito gets to eat more of the Yakisoba.

At another offering of Yakisoba, Akihito shakes his head. He’s eaten too much.

The doorbell rings. 

It’s the doctor from before! “Miss Lychee!” He yells from his chair. His hands wave enthusiastically.

“Hello, Aki-chan. It’s good to see you again.”

Akihito chirps back, which FeiLong chuckles at him for. 

Yoh pats his hair. Yoh’s hands are still wet from the dishes. “I’ll be here, Aki-chan.”

Akihito nods and takes Yoh’s hand to stuff in his mouth.

“Fingers are not for eating, silly Aki-chan.” Yoh laughs good-naturedly. 

“Well, I suppose we can start now. Aki-chan, would you mind getting undressed? And perhaps moving this to a bed?”

Asami deftly lifts Akihito in one hand, grabbing Teremok with the other. Everyone treks to the bedroom. 

“You’ve lost some weight. You eating lots?” The sensei warmly asks. 

Akihito, head stuck in his shirt, squawks in response. Asami helps him undress.

“You put up a very heroic fight against those clothes, there.” Sensei remarks. “I’m going to check your eyes, ears, and tummy, okay?”

FeiLong lounges on the top of the bed, while Yoh takes a seat right next to Akihito. Asami takes a seat on Akihito’s other side. The blond stays still as the sensei pokes things around with various instruments. Asami rubs circles into his bare inner thighs. 

The sensei’s fingers are ticklish! Akihito squirms as sensei presses fingers all over his stomach and skin.

“You sure are ticklish, Aki-chan!”

After a while, the fingers retract. 

“Can you open your wings, Aki-chan? Sensei wants to check on your wings.”

Akihito dutifully nods and spreads his wings open. 

“Wow! You’re growing in new feathers!”

Indeed, Akihito can now spot more of the new feathers. Now that he can see more than the tips of the feathers, he notices that each new feather changes color to camouflage with the background, like an octopus. Half of his wings look… invisible, for lack of a better word. 

As he shifts, his feathers morph colors and change with his different positionings to keep his wings camouflaged. 

“Oh no! Sensei forgot to listen to your heart and lungs. Sensei will put this metal disk on you, okay Aki-chan?”

The sensei puts the stethoscope on Akihito’s chest. 

“Take a deep breath in and out.”

Akihito does. 

“Cough for me, Aki-chan.”

His wings are itchy. He feels like layers of him can just slough off. 

Akihito coughs, and a half-molted and camouflaged feather shoots out to whizz through the wall and boomerang back, cutting deep into Yoh’s forearm and rocketing through the brickwork of the other wall. A second later, a large explosion of fire erupts mid-air some hundreds of meters away outside and colors the entire room in blue. 

The electricity cuts. Then the generators hum and the lights come back on. 

“Sorry, Yoh-Yoh!” Akihito flaps his wings and hands in distress. “I’ll- I’ll heal you!”

Yoh’s hand is hanging by a hinge, spurting blood. The extremity is almost completely severed, if not for the bare bit of skin. Yoh is sweating and clutching at his half-cleaved arm, but doesn’t say anything.

Akihito hurriedly hugs Yoh tight and slides himself under Yoh’s shirt so they can touch skin to skin. He floods Yoh with life energy, the two of them surrounded by a haze of golden glow and little rings of dancing hellfire. 

Over long, terse seconds, Yoh’s arm heals until it’s better than before. The little wrinkles on Yoh’s face smooth out. Yoh looks approaching twenty instead of approaching thirty. 

“You okay, Yoh-Yoh? Aki is sorry! Aki is very, very sorry! Don’t hate me, Yoh-Yoh!”

Yoh unclenches his teeth and releases a breath. “I’m okay, Aki-chan. It was very nice of you to heal me.” The man smooths his just-healed hand down Akihito’s spine. There’s not a scar to show for what happened just a minute ago. “And I don’t hate you. I can never hate you. It was an accident.”

“Well. I think your battle feathers are growing in quite well, Aki-chan. Make sure to eat lots more proteins and fats and carbs, okay? We want you strong and healthy, so eat lots more.” Sensei remarks shakily.

Akihito nods. He can eat more!

“Your asthma looks to be stabilized. Make sure to keep up with the morning and night doses. And Asami-sama. You mentioned he took a plan B last night?”

Asami nods. 

“A long-term option can be an IUD. It can be-”

“Do it.” Asami replies. FeiLong nods gravely in accordance while sprawled among the pillows. 

Sensei rummages in her bag and produces a plastic box with a t-shaped copper object in it. “Aki-chan, can you spread your legs for me?”

Akihito hesitates. Looks to Yoh and Asami and FeiLong. The men nod. Akihito grasps Yoh’s hand and opens his legs. 

Sensei moves to insert something metal and duck-bill like into him. Akihito slams his legs shut and climbs onto Asami. He never wants another cold, metal cylinder-like thing in him again. The thought sends shivers up his arms.

“Don’t use the speculum. I’ll do it.” Asami declares. The man lays Akihito down on the bed. Akihito clings to Yoh. Yoh lets him, shushing the boy and whispering about how good he’s doing while smoothing down his flaxen hair.

While sensei is demonstrating Asami something, Akihito pulls Yoh down so the man is atop him. He doesn’t want to see the metal thing. He breathes in the feel of Yoh. 

Yoh is comforting. Akihito can spend a lifetime bathing in Yoh’s presence and he will be content. Akihito nuzzles into Yoh. Yoh holds him tight. 

“Aki-chan, open your legs for me.” Asami gently commands. Akihito does.

He feels something warm and wet enter him. It’s uncomfortable and he squirms, but Yoh holds him tight and runs hands down his sides. “You know Tao, Aki-chan?” Akihito can feel the calluses on Yoh’s hands. There are similar ones on FeiLong and Asami. Gun calluses, he thinks.

Akihito nods. “The guy who didn’t like me?”

Yoh nods. “Well, it’s more like he didn’t understand you. He’s older, now. Taller than you. Can you believe it?” 

Akihito can believe it. He winces. There are two fingers in him now, but he feels his body quickly get used to it.

“Well, Tao wasn’t always so tall. He was tiny, too. He had to learn a long time to make tea. One day, when he was still learning how to make FeiLong tea, Tao accidentally left some tea leaves burning on the tray.”

“Why would he leave tea leaves burning on the tray? Isn’t the tray wood?” The Tao Akihito remembers was ill-tempered and just a boy. There are three fingers in him now. The stretch burns deliciously, and the fingers sometimes hit a spot that makes his hips stutter and jerk sometimes. There’s a heat in his belly. Akihito pays it no mind. Yoh’s story is more interesting.

Yoh nods from above him. “Indeed, it sounds strange. He should have dosed it with the fire on the tray or smothered the flame before it got too large. But Tao was worried about getting tea to FeiLong on time, and so he disregarded the fire. By the time Tao arrived at FeiLong's room, the fire was large and too big for Tao to control. So he dropped the tray.”

“Oh no! I hope Tao wasn’t burned.” Akihito inquires. 

“Aki-chan, keep your legs open. You’re doing so well.” Asami says from the foot of the bed. Akihito obediently opens his legs again. Yoh half-slides off the boy to give Asami more access and to keep Akihito’s knees spread. 

There are four fingers in him now. The sensei ducks out of the room. FeiLong fans himself with a collapsible fan he got from somewhere. Probably from under the pillows.

Yoh keeps petting Akihito. “The fire spread to the carpets and the drapes and all through the room. It was very smoky, FeiLong and Tao’s faces were blacked by the soot. It was very funny to see.”

There are five fingers now. Akihito feels something test the ring of his hole. The fingers shape into a fist and slowly presses into him. Akihito’s legs shake. His breathing comes in faster. His muscles try to expel out the intrusions, but all it does is suck the fist deeper. It feels good and itchy to be stretched. Why does it feel good?

Yoh pets him slowly and calmly, as if Akihito is not breathless and gasping, hips swiveling for something he doesn’t know. “You’re a good boy, Aki-chan. You’re doing so good.”

Finally, the fist pops in through the widest part. Akihito grasps at Yoh, fingers clutching tight at the man.

“The fire spread so much it got to FeiLong’s hair. FeiLong’s hair was very, very long then. It went all the way down to his feet. And the fire spread up and up his hair. Tao was scared because he didn’t want FeiLong to die. But in the end, they all ran outside and I got a bucket of water to splash atop FeiLong. FeiLong was drenched but his hair was saved. Unfortunately, the fire ate most of his hair. What was left of FeiLong’s hair was only a centimeter or so long.”

Akihito gasps, from the heat in his belly or from the shock of the story, he doesn’t know. “Fei-Fei! Are you alright? Were you sad about your hair?”

“I was very sad about my hair, Aki-chan. But hair grows back. Don’t worry, everything turned out alright.” FeiLong replies lazily from the head of the bed, eyes lidded and dark, focusing intensely where Asami’s fist meets Akihito’s hole. 

FeiLong groans and twists so the man is laying on his belly. Asami laughs. “You like this,  _ mommy _ ?”

Asami suddenly punches into Akihito, and Akihito moans, low and long, his legs opening without his consent. His back arches and he grasps onto Yoh. 

FeiLong grunts back in response, trailing a hand down to his stomach. FeiLong’s arm under his stomach moves back and forth.

Yoh shushes him. “You’re okay, Aki-chan. You know, Tao never did make another fire again. I think he learned his lesson.”

Akihito nods. That makes sense. “I’m sorry about the fire. And about the explosion. And your hand. I didn’t mean to! Now the walls have  _ holes _ , and you were hurt. You don’t hate me, right?” He bemoans. 

“That’s quite alright, Aki-chan. You’re still growing into your body. You’ll learn control with time. And I’m sure Asami will have the holes repaired posthaste. It’s not something to be worried about. And Akihito, I don’t care how many times I have to say this. But you’re precious to me. I can never hate you, no matter what you do.” Yoh soothes. 

Akihito feels something more press  _ into  _ him. More up into him than the fist. He squeals, clinging onto Yoh, but he keeps his legs spread. Yoh continues to pat him and whisper reassurances. 

The something pops into him. Asami pulls a bit on the thing, making sure it stays inside. Then the fist retracts and exits him with a sloppy sound. Akihito feels open. He doesn’t like it. He shifts his legs together.

“You’re good, Aki-chan. It’s finished. You’re good.” Asami rises up and leans to kiss Akihito’s forehead. 

Asami opens the bedroom door and calls the doctor back in. Sensei slips two fingers and a thumb into his open hole to tug on the same thing Asami did. 

“You did good, Asami-sama. It’s better work than some professionals.” The sensei looks over some papers. “Looks like everything is good to go, except for the vaccines. I take it you can do those too?”

Asami nods. Sensei says her goodbyes and waves to Akihito. Akihito waves back. The lady leaves, promising lychees next time.

“You know, that’s not the only mischief Tao was up to when he was growing up.” Yoh murmurs. 

“Turn over, Aki-chan.” Asami pats Akihito’s hipbone. Akihito turns over so he’s on his stomach, just like FeiLong. The boy rests his head on his arms.

“What did he do?” Akihito’s curiosity peaks. 

“Well. He once ran away to become a fish vendor one day.” FeiLong interjects. The man’s voice is heavy and breathy.

“Are you okay, Fei-Fei?” Akihito feels a pinch in his butt. But he quickly forgets about it when Yoh starts blowing raspberries into the boy’s shoulders. 

“Yeah, are you okay Fei-Fei?” Asami taunts. 

“Are  _ you  _ okay,  _ daddy _ ?” FeiLong growls back, voice low and sultry.

Akihito grabs Yoh’s hand and tries blowing raspberries on the bodyguard. The first two tries are all spit and bubbles, no raspberries. Akihito feels another pinch, but it’s so fast he doesn’t get to react before Yoh blows another series of raspberries onto the blond’s back.

Akihito finally makes a raspberry! The key seems to be air, it seems. He shrieks when Yoh blows even more raspberries. Asami holds Akihito’s lower half still with a strong hand to the small of his back. The boy feels a pinch, and then Yoh starts poking at his sides.

“Yoh-Yoh! Stop!” Akihito squirms. He blows another long raspberry on Yoh as retaliation. Another quick pinch in his butt. “That’s not fair!”

“Nothing’s fair, Aki-chan.” Yoh responds sagely. 

FeiLong, still on his stomach, nods. “Wise words, Yoh.” FeiLong’s eyes gleam in amusement.

“You’re all done, Aki-chan.” Asami flips the boy over and starts clothing him. The man hands Teremok over to the blond. “What do you and Teremok want to eat for lunch?”

“Eggplant curry!” He yells, sitting up. Teremok nods in time with Akihito.

“Eggplant curry it is.” Asami smiles indulgently. 

Yoh picks Akihito up and finishes dressing the boy. “Make sure to eat lots, Aki-chan.”

Oh, Akihito can definitely eat lots. He nods. “I will!”

FeiLong laughs. 


	20. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring daddy and mommy and daddy

“And why do you like your daddy?” The strange woman asks. 

This is the first time Akihito’s with this woman. She’s nice enough and plays with Akihito. She also likes to ask questions. Lots of questions. Apparently, when she’s around, daddy and Daddy and Fei Fei can’t talk to Akihito. They just sit in a corner, observing Akihito, not making a noise.

It’s weird. 

Akihito continues drawing with the woman. “Because he’s nice. And he doesn’t make me heal lots of people every day. And. He doesn’t make me kill lots of people too. I don’t like killing people”

Akihito remembers the days he thought he had to kill to survive. Those were grim days, barely surviving. He wonders how he ever survived that way. 

“That must be very nice, Aki-chan. My friend, Ito-san, likes working as a police officer because he doesn’t have to kill people every day as well. He gets to save them instead.”

Akihito nods. “You’re Mr. Bear Man’s friend?” He continues to color red, pretending to not be interested.

“Indeed I am. Why don’t you tell me about your picture, Aki-chan, and I’ll tell you about mine?”

Akihito doesn’t want to listen to the woman talk about her boring picture of a black cat. Akihito knows what it is. What else is there to it?

But he acquiesces. He wonders why adults all want to talk about his pictures. 

“This is Suzu. I met him when I was stolen away. And two times after I was stolen away again, he came back. And then when I was stolen away last time, he came but he was all red. He’s not here now.”

Akihito holds up the all-red pictures. There’s a vague blob of black for Suzu’s tactical vest under the tuxedo suit. 

“Do you miss Suzu, Aki-chan?”

Akihito nods. He misses Suzu. He misses Suzu so much. 

“Do you wish you can say something to him?”

Akihito nods. He wishes he could say lots of things to Suzu. But whenever he tries to put it in words, the words can’t come out.

“What do you want to say to him?”

Akihito opens his mouth to answer, only for him to be pushing out empty air. He tries again. And again. His fingers tremble in embarrassment. He lifts a shaking hand to his neck. He should be able to talk! He should!

“When my dog died, I wished that I could say lots of things to him too.” The woman placidly pronounces. “I had lots of things I wanted to say to him and lots of things I still wanted to do with him. But he left. And I couldn’t say them. But what helped me was that when I couldn’t say things, I could sing them. Let’s try that, Aki-chan.”

Akihito swallows. He doesn’t want to sing in front of this woman. 

“It’s alright. I won’t judge you. Go ahead and sing, Aki-chan. I’ll sing with you.”

Oh. That’s better then. 

Akihito gathers his courage. The woman nods encouragingly. “Go on. Your singing can’t be as bad as mine. Mine is super bad!” The woman imitates a strangling seagull. It is pretty bad.

Akihito’s lips tilt up. He opens his mouth. And surprisingly, sound comes out.

_ Worthy is the lamb _

_ Worthy is the lamb _

The woman stops singing along. She just stares at him, smile frozen.

_ You are Holy _

_ Holy _

Silence.

“He. Suzu doesn’t need it, though. Because he knew it already.”

“Okay, Aki-chan.” The woman puts down the crayons. “Thank you for telling me that. That must have been hard for you.”

It wasn’t hard, per say. It just didn’t really come out easily. Akihito shrugs.

The clock ticks. “I. I think we have to end here. It’s been nice singing together. I hope you can tell me more about yourself in the future.” The woman bows and then talks to his daddies in the corner. 

Akihito continues coloring.

Hm. He’s used up this red crayon. Is there another? He searches inside the box. There are other orange and purple crayons, but no exact same shade of red…

“Ready for dinner, Aki-chan?” Yoh bends down to peer at what Akihito was drawing. “That’s a nice drawing. You worked really hard on it, I see.”

Akihito shrugs and then lifts his arms up to be carried to the table. The woman leaves.

“How did you like it, Aki-chan?” FeiLong inquiries, like the man was not in the same room as him the past hour. 

Akihito shrugs, again. “It was okay. I don’t like her always asking questions. Why is she so interested in me?”

FeiLong sighs. “Well, sometimes it’s nice to talk through things with someone else.” FeiLong’s face changes in the way that the man does when he gets immeasurably sad. FeiLong gets sad just by looking at Akihito, sometimes.

Akihito nods as if he understands. It is nice to talk things through, sometimes. But strangers will never understand what it’s like.

“Do you think God exists?” FeiLong searches, eyes strangely alight as the man plates and cuts some baozi small enough for Akihito to not choke. 

“God is a woman inside all of us.” The words come out. He doesn’t know where they came from. “We are all our own Gods.”

Asami stares intensely at Akihito. “Do you know if there are any other people like you, Aki-chan?”

It seems like all his daddies want to do is ask him questions as well, just like the woman.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember my parents.” He purses his lips. He doesn’t like the questions. “You’re my daddy and my mommy and my daddy.” He looks at Asami, then FeiLong, then Yoh, eyes wide.

“Eat your baozi.” Yoh puts a hand on Akihito’s shoulder. “I love you, Aki-chan. I never want you to go away, no matter what happens or what you do. I promise.”

… Okay?

“You’re not a bad boy. It’s just that people have treated you badly and made you think you’re worth less than you are. You deserve to live. You should live. Everyone has the right to live.” FeiLong feeds some Baozi into Akihito’s mouth. 

… Akihito’s getting really confused. Where is all this philosophizing coming from? He chews and FeiLong just feeds him more, not giving the boy an opportunity to say anything back. It’s good baozi, juicy and hot.

FeiLong must have made them at night and kept it as a surprise, because Akihito doesn’t remember FeiLong being in the kitchen all today.

“Whenever you start thinking bad thoughts like you’re not worthy or that you need to kill yourself, tell daddy, Aki-chan. Tell one of us. Can you pinky-promise that?” Asami extends his pinky across the table to link with Akihito’s.

“But. But then I would be bothering you every day.”

“Aki-chan, you’re not a bother. Whoever told you that is wrong.” FeiLong declares with conviction.

“I promise I won’t get mad or annoyed if you tell me, no matter how many times. I’ll never be mad at you, Aki-chan. You can tell me whatever you want, wherever you want. I’ll never turn you away.” Asami intones. 

“... Really? Promise promise?” 

“I do. To the end of the abyss.” Asami replies.

Akihito links his pinky with Asami’s. They shake on it. It’s a solemn thing.

“Thank you, Aki-chan.” Asami smiles, grimly.

“Open up, Aki-chan.” FeiLong waves his chopsticks full of baozi enticingly in front of Akihito’s face.

Akihito chomps on the chopsticks, not letting go of the wood.

“Oh, my. It seems like your chopsticks are taken hostage by big bad Aki-chan, Fei-Fei.” Yoh’s lips twitch.

“It seems so. Which means that there’s no more baozi going to Aki-chan!” FeiLong teases.

“No!” Akihito yells in despair. When he spoke, he let go of the chopsticks and FeiLong retreats back to scoop up more food. 

Asami laughs.

**

“Feed from me, Aki-chan.” Asami lays Akihito atop him. Akihito lies bare, ear to Asami’s chest. Asami’s heartbeat is loud and steady, beating and never ceasing. 

Akihito sleepily mouths at Asami’s pec.

The man chuckles. “No, not that way. I’ll get you a bottle later. You spent a lot of energy healing Yoh today. Feed from me.”

Oh. That kind of feeding.

It’s been a long while since he fed. He’s living on his own life energy. If he only had this much energy when he was just starting out, he would have gone on a rampage and sucked dry everyone he came across. Now, Akihito barely blinks. He’s used to the emptiness. 

Slowly, Akihito opens up the maw inside him. He sucks sleepily at Asami’s chest, right above the heart. Asami cradles him securely.

There’s no gold. Nor any hellfire. It’s just a peaceful, willing transfer of energy. Everything is at equilibrium. The ambrosia of life gently fills Akihito more and more. 

The boy feels something getting harder at Asami’s navel. Then again, now that he thinks about it, Yoh got hard there as well when he fed from Yoh. Same with Yuri and Mikhail. 

Akihito doesn’t open his eyes, though. He’s too lazy to, and it’s too comfortable. 

“Daddy loves you, Aki-chan.”

Akihito never does drink that bottle. He drifts off to sleep too soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update today lol
> 
> The song is Agnus Dei by Samuel Barber  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuBQZFOnk7s


	21. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery is hard

Akihito stretches, joints popping, loose feathers shaking to the floor. 

It’s hard to distinguish the feathers now. They all camouflage into the decor. So well his feathers blend into the surroundings, only if one inspects Akihito’s shadow can they see his wings. 

A hand strokes down his wings, making his feathers seem to ripple like still water disturbed. 

“Daddy loves you very, very much sleepyhead.” Is the first thing Akihito hears that morning.

Akihito lazily opens his eyes. It’s just him and Asami. Where are Fei and Yoh?

“They’re in the kitchen already, Aki-chan.” Asami answers. How did daddy know what he was thinking? “You can never hide anything from me.”

Asami pokes the tip of Akihito’s nose with a finger. Akihito shrinks back, shocked. The blond hits something on the headboard with his elbow.

Akihito rubs his elbow, then yawns. It doesn’t really hurt. He was just more surprised than in pain. He turns towards Asami, who has a peculiar expression on his face.

Gears whirl, and the wall at the headboard disappears. There’s a secret room?!

The room is all red. 

“Daddy?” Akihito breaks the silence. He wants to explore it! He jumps up from the bed to hop over the headboard. His head swivels all around to see all parts of the new room. 

“I suppose it’s about time you find out.”

“What’s all this?” There’s chains and leather and lots of weird metal things. “Daddy… Do you hurt people?” He asks, breathless and betrayed. 

He thought his daddy would never hurt anybody. 

He can’t believe it. He can’t believe that someone so close to his heart could have the capacity to hurt others. What the hell is this place?

“Only if they ask for it.” Who the hell would ask for it? Maybe it’s in payment for some debt, or as punishment for some grave error. Akihito doesn’t like it. Akihito doesn’t like it at all.

It’s a torture room. He feels dizzy. He remembers the terror and the fear and the pain he’s experienced. Those experiences are not even near torture. He’s getting dizzier. The air gets thinner.

“Aki-chan, you’re okay. You’re okay.” Asami scoops Akihito up into a bear hug, rocking him to shore. Back to the bed.

Asami presses the button and the room disappears. 

“I’ll show you the room when you grow up a bit. You’ll understand later. The things in the room are something adults like to do.” Asami runs a hand down Akihito’s invisible wings. “Don’t be scared. It’s okay. I don’t hurt people.”

“Really?” Akihito murmurs. It’s scary, what he just saw. He doesn’t understand it. Why would people just do things like that? Is daddy like one of those bad men?

No. Daddy can’t be like those men. He can’t. It’s not possible.

“Daddy’s sorry he’s scared you. Why don’t we eat some breakfast and talk with mommy and your daddies?”

Akihito clings tighter to Asami. “Okay.”

“That’s my boy.”

**

“Do you feel like you’re alone sometimes?” The nosy woman asks. It’s the second time Akihito’s with her. The radio is on in the background, playing some kind of modern orchestral music.

Akihito nods. Of course he feels lonely sometimes. Everyone does. 

The woman makes a commiserating noise. “I feel alone sometimes too. But then I remember that I have many people around me that care for me. Do you have people that care for you, Aki-chan?”

Akihito nods. “I have my daddies and my mommy.”

“That’s very good, Aki-chan. Do you feel like you can talk to them about anything?”

Akihito shakes his head. There are just some things nobody can say. It doesn’t matter how close he is to people. He can’t say those things.

“Why not?”

Akihito’s getting annoyed at the questions. He pats the ball they’re playing with a bit harder than needed. 

“How about today, you try to tell your parents something that comes to your mind. It doesn’t matter what it is. Don’t think about whether you should or should not say it. Just say it. It’ll be okay.”

Akihito pretends to not hear. He bounces the ball again. 

“Why don’t you practice with me? Something that I’m thinking right now is how you’re not treating the ball nicely. It didn’t do anything to you. I wouldn't normally say this, because it can be mean. But it is something that came to my mind. What’s something you’re thinking, Aki-chan?”

“That you’re annoying!” He picks up the ball and settles to the other side of the room. He can’t believe he said that. That was so mean.

“Good job, Aki-chan! That was wonderful!” The woman is not offended. Adults are confusing. Shouldn’t she be hurt? He just said something mean!

“I know sometimes it’s easier to just show and not speak. Sometimes my mouth closes up and I can’t talk, too. Why don’t you show the ball what you’re feeling today?”

Show the ball? Akihito looks down at the ball. How can he show it how he’s feeling? 

Akihito thinks back to today. The birds are especially curious today, chirping non stop outside the window. The sky is a clear blue, the clouds so fluffy and white. The air is crisp with fall and the leaves are fiery oranges and reds, floating and rustling down like feathers.

He’s feeling the change in seasons in his bones. It’s itchy and he wants to jump out of his marrow. He wants to fly and be free, to migrate with the birds. He wants to perch up high and launch himself into the sky and feel the blaze of the sun scorch across his skin as the autumn wind cools it.

The music on the radio changes. He rolls the ball in his hands. Show the ball what he feels today?

He cradles the ball. Spins around and into another turn. Gently throws and catches it, the way he wants to fly. The ball flies up again, and when it lands in Akihito’s hands again, he softly follows the momentum into a circle. 

The music crests and peaks. He spins, ball in his hands, arms out like he’s catching the wind. He spins and throws the ball, rolling it across his body. It seems like the ball is flying and freezing in midair, absconding the rules of gravity.

“That was beautiful, Aki-chan. It really conveyed what you feel! Good job.”

Akihito smiles. He feels free, like he would have if he could fly. Like the way he longs for.

“So you wanted to fly and migrate with the birds?” The woman asks.

Akihito nods. “I miss flying.”

“Did you learn how to fly?”

“A bit. Not really.” Akihito bounces the ball. 

The session ends without fanfare. The woman leaves after talking to his daddies and mommy comes to sit next to Akihito.

“Do you want to learn to fly?” FeiLong smooths a hand over the invisible wings. His pinions are more fire than feather now, reflecting in Fei’s eyes. It settles him all the same.

“Fly?” Akihito asks. He’s allowed to fly now? Is it because he mentioned he misses flying?

“I would like to see you take to the skies. It is in your nature to. It’ll be a pity for you to be locked up like a caged bird and never learn how to.”

“I want to!” He reassures FeiLong. He hugs FeiLong tight. FeiLong hesitates before hugging back. “Any of us would move the world for you, Aki-chan. I did much wrong to you. I hope you can forgive me.”

What? “What are you talking about, mommy? You didn’t do anything wrong to me.”

FeiLong hugs him tighter. 

Asami comes to the two of them. “Who started a dog pile without me?” And joins in on the group hug. 

Yoh sees the woman out. When the man comes back, he takes out his phone and snaps a photo. “I’ll send it to you both.”

Asami inhales above Akihito’s hair. “We’re going on a surprise trip to a beach. You’ll be able to fly to your heart’s content. Would you like that, Aki-chan? Just us and your mommy and your other daddy.”

Akihito nods. He would like that! “Yeah!”

**

It’s night. FeiLong is giving Akihito a bath.

_The lilly has a smooth stalk_

_Will never hurt your hand_

_But the rose upon the briar_

_Is lady of the land._

He splashes a bit of the water while blowing bubbles. There's many splots of red in the water. His hole is bleeding again, after daddy put in that painful IUD. His hips still ache.

_When with moss and honey_

_She tips her bending brier_

_And half unlocks her glowing heart_

_She sets the world on fire._

“What are you singing, Aki-chan?” FeiLong rubs more shampoo into Akihito’s wild hair.

Akihito shrugs. “Pretty pretty.”

FeiLong hides a snicker behind his soapy hand. “Yes, pretty pretty. You’re very pretty, Aki-chan.”

“Mommy is the prettiest!” He declares.

FeiLong smirks. “Indeed, I am. Asami! Yoh! Come here!”

Asami bangs open the door. Yoh is right behind. “What is it?” Their eyes are bright and scanning the bathroom. For what, Aki doesn't know.

“Repeat what you just said, Aki-chan.” FeiLong’s cheshire smile is satisfied. 

“Mommy is the prettiest?” He repeats, splashing a bit of bubbles.

“Hear that, Asami?”

“But I’m the most handsome, isn’t that right, Aki-chan?” Asami’s smile spreads across his face like a fox. His posture relaxes. So does Yoh.

Akihito nods. That’s true. “Daddy is the most handsome!”

“How about me, Aki-chan? Who do you like best?” Yoh joins in, leaning on the doorframe.

“You’re… I like you too! I like daddy best though.”

“You mean me, right? I’m the best daddy.” Asami clarifies.

Yoh raises an eyebrow. “He was obviously talking about me.”

“Well, how do you like me, Aki-chan?” FeiLong muses.

“I like mommy very much! When I grow older I want to marry mommy!”

“Keep me young and we’ll see.” FeiLong responds, washing Akihito’s hair.

“How about me, Aki-chan? Don’t you want to marry daddy?” Asami chuckles.

“Duh, I want to marry daddy too. We’ll spend all day every day together, and you’ll… you’ll have to unstick me to take a shower!”

“Oh, I won’t unstick you, Aki-chan. We’ll share the most delicious showers together.” Asami’s eyes twinkle.

“Get your head out of the gutter, Asami.” FeiLong tuts, covering Akihito’s ears.

“Like you haven’t done worse, Fei-Fei.”

“Obviously Aki-chan likes his Yoh-Yoh the best, right?”

Akihito hesitates. “I liked Yoh-Yoh best first.”

FeiLong makes a self-satisfied noise. “I chose Yoh to care for Akihito, so it’s my win.” The man finishes washing Akihito and Yoh hands FeiLong a towel.

Asami fumes in the corner. 

Yoh sighs. “It’s not a competition. Akihito likes all of us. And we all like Aki-chan. You ready for some yummy dinner, Aki-chan?”

Akihito bobs his head. “Dinner! Dinner!”

Yoh’s eyes crinkle. “Make sure to eat a lot, okay little guy? We want you to grow up big and strong, like your daddy.”

Akihito stares open-mouthed at Asami and Yoh. “Uh-huh.” He agrees. They’re all very big and strong in an understated way, which is impressive considering Asami lives off of alcohol and Akihito only spots Yoh eat once every third meal.

Asami smirks. “I’m big and strong in other areas, as well. I’ll show them to you when you grow up a bit more.”

“What are they? Please, show me? I'm big enough now!” Akihito pleads, curiosity shining. 

Yoh presses his lips, but the man’s eyes gleam. “Stop teasing him, Asami.”

Asami huffs in amusement and strolls over to the kitchen. FeiLong dries himself off and takes the opportunity to tickle Akihito’s bare feet while the boy is in Yoh’s arms.

Akihito kicks and tries to evade the fingers, to no avail. “Mommy! Ticklish!”

Yoh deposits Akihito into the kitchen chair. They all sit down.

FeiLong moves to open the jar of sesame sauce. 

“I can help mommy! I’m big and strong!” Akihito declares.

“Okay, Aki-chan. Have at it.” FeiLong passes Akihito the unopened jar. Akihito grips the glass with both hands and heaves, trying to unscrew the lid. 

Akihito’s lips press and eyes squint as he tries to open the jar. While catching his breath, he spots Yoh and Asami hiding smiles.

That’s not nice! 

Eventually, Asami takes the jar from Akihito’s hands and casually unscrews it. “Here you go, Aki-chan. Don’t worry, I believe you’re big and strong. You’re daddy’s little helper. You’ll become bigger and stronger yet.”

Akihito fumes. 

FeiLong laughs, and Yoh joins in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: The music Akihito dances to is the Arrival of the Birds from The Theory of Everything. This is his dance, if anyone is interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yScl8X9vtUo


	22. Love Me Harder Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love you, Aki-chan. Daddy loves you.”

Akihito shrieks peals of laughter as Asami blows raspberries into the soles of his feet. The boy is on his back, legs up and hostage in Asami’s grip.

“Do you yield, Akihito?” Asami’s mouth quirks. 

“I yield, I yield, I yield!” Akihito slaps the palm of his hand to the couch. He jerks out of the tickle hold, accidentally sending a vase flying. The vase shatters and Akihito gasps. 

The boy scrambles to the floor to pick up the pieces. The vase, ugly as it may be, costs a lot of money. Akihito knows because all the ugly vases in the BaiShe HQ were ridiculously expensive, so this one must be too. 

“Aki-chan! Stop!” Asami rushes to Akihito’s side and single-handedly picks the boy up. The man deposits the blond back onto the couch.

Asami drags a trash can over and starts to pick shards out of Akihito’s feet. 

Yoh and FeiLong bust open into the room. “I heard something shatter. Oh, Akihito. Are you okay?”

Akihito nods. He’s okay. “Hurts.” He sniffles. Asami picking the shards squeezes more blood out.

“I’ll get some alcohol and tweezers. Yoh, can you get a dustpan?” FeiLong sighs.

“Next time something breaks, leave it to an adult to take care of it, alright Aki-chan?”

Akihito pouts. “But I can do it!” He inhales sharply on the next squeeze. “Hurts.”

“Then you shouldn’t do it. You’re daddy’s little helper. But sometimes, daddy has to do things on his own, okay? And that includes cleaning up messes.”

Akihito doesn’t like the idea. Nobody should have to clean up his messes. That’s not fair.

“I know you want to help, Aki-chan. That’s very kind of you. But when daddy says you can’t do something, you can’t.”

He pouts, crossing his arms. The image is ruined by his winces wherever a shard comes out.

FeiLong comes over with alcohol and tweezers. Asami takes them gracefully. “What happened?”

“He kicked the vase and it broke. Then he stepped all over it.”

Asami didn’t have to phrase it like that! It makes the blond sound like a very bad boy.

FeiLong narrows his eyes. “What did I say about staying clear of glass and ceramics, Aki-chan? Do you need a reminder?”

Akihito frowns and turns away. He doesn’t need a reminder. Nobody needs to clean up his messes. 

FeiLong tuts. “I see you’re in need of a reminder. Asami, I’ll take over.”

What?! Asami noncommittally hands Akihito’s feet to FeiLong, retreating to the other side of the couch. 

Yoh starts sweeping the floor clean. FeiLong stares down at Akihito. The boy’s back is on the couch, his feet in FeiLong’s lap. FeiLong disinfects Akihito’s cuts.

Akihito hisses. “Hurts.”

“Of course it hurts, silly boy. You should have learned not to step in shards like that already. Don’t worry, you’ll learn for good this time.” FeiLong continues to tweeze the shards out. 

Of course he’s learned for good. It hurts. He’ll remember this forever.

FeiLong tisks and bandages his feet. “Don’t use your feet until it heals over. Be glad it’s only a few cuts.”

Akihito crosses his arms and presses his lips, looking away. What is there to be glad about? He arches his neck to peer backwards. Asami is going over some reports. To him, Asami is upside-down.

“When something breaks, you stay far away from it. You got me, Aki-chan? This is the last time I’m going to say it.”

Akihito presses his lips harder. 

“I see it’s not getting through to you.” FeiLong lifts his feet up so his legs are in the air. The man sharply smacks two times on Akihito’s unprotected thighs. 

The blond cries out and whimpers. It hurts, a lot! Yoh inhales and exhales heavily, exasperated. Asami doesn’t look up from the reports. Akihito’s lower lip wobbles and he can’t help but cry as the first tears escape.

“When your daddy tells you no, I expect you to follow that order. If your mommy tells you to stop, I expect you to stop. You got that?” FeiLong accents his words with an unrelenting hand, spanking all over Akihito’s thighs. 

Akihito squirms to avoid the slaps, but FeiLong holds him still and pops him two more for good measure. The boy rubs his eyes and cheeks, hard. He’s sobbing, now.

“Stop that.” FeiLong spanks him once more. Akihito stops rubbing immediately. “Good boy, Aki-chan.”

Akihito is still crying. His upper thighs are pink and hot. He wants to rub at his eyes, but he doesn't dare to. FeiLong leans over and kisses Akihito’s pink little toes.

“Will you listen to your mommy and daddies now?” 

Akihito nods miserably, hiccuping.

“Good. Will you be stepping into shards anymore?”

Akihito vigorously shakes his head. 

“That’s a good boy, Aki-chan.” FeiLong lowers Akihito’s legs and picks Akihito up in a carry to the bedroom. Yoh follows a bit later with a bottle.

FeiLong takes the bottle and waits between Akihito’s hiccuping sobs to get the boy to latch. FeiLong patiently smooths a hand over the boy’s fringe. Finally, after four failed attempts, Akihito takes to the bottle.

“You did well, Aki-chan. You’re a good boy.” FeiLong sighs and lays down with Akihito, hugging him from behind and rubbing a hand over the smarting backs of Akihito’s thighs.

**

“Aw, look at him!” The familiar voices of Haruto and Yuta exclaim. “He’s so cute!”

“You’ll wake him at this rate.” Asami’s voice.

“What happened to his feet?”

“Stepped in some ceramic shards. He won’t be walking for a few days yet.”

“Aw, cutie pie, no.”

Akihito stirs and stretches. He reaches towards daddy’s voice. 

Someone hugs him. It smells like daddy. Akihito snuggles into the warmth.

“Did you have a good nap, cuddlebug?”

Akihito murmurs something indistinct. 

“That’s good. It’s time to get up now, Aki-chan.”

Akihito shakes his head and refuses to open his eyes. Asami’s chest jerks like the man’s laughing. The man rearranges Akihito so the boy is at the kitchen table, sitting on Asami’s lap. 

He hisses. His thighs sting. Asami pets Akihito’s neck soothingly.

Suddenly he feels a spoon at his lips. “Want some okonomiyaki?”

Akihito’s eyelids shoot open, and so does his mouth. He munches on the pancake. 

“Yummy, Aki-chan?”

Akihito nods. “Yummy yummy!” He mumbles from his full mouth. In the background he can hear two cooing voices.

Asami smiles. “Don’t talk while you’re eating. You might choke.”

Akihito turns around and sees Haruto and Yuta. “Haru! Yu! You’re back!”

“Of course we’re back, silly bean.” Haruto ruffles Akihito’s sleep-messy hair. 

Yuta kneels down at Akihito’s feet to poke the boy in the belly button. “Make sure to eat lots, Aki-chan. You need to grow bigger!”

Akihito giggles. “Haru, Yu, eat with me! Tasty, tasty!”

Asami nods, and Haruto and Yu settle down at the kitchen table. 

“Where’s mommy and daddy?” Somehow, FeiLong and Yoh disappeared when Akihito closed his eyes. Just a blink. And then they’re gone. 

“They had to go back to work, Aki-chan. They’ll visit in a bit. They told me to tell you they miss you lots. And that they left you a present” Asami puts a hand on Akihito’s. 

Akihito feels lonely. He feels colder and emptier. He feels bad. But there’s people he loves all around him. Yuta’s here, and so is Haruto and daddy. Why does he feel so alone?

“What are you thinking, Aki-chan?”

The strange woman asked him to tell what he’s thinking and just say it without thinking about it. Maybe he should try that. “I miss them too. I don’t want them to go. I feel lonely. Everybody always leaves me.”

Asami listens patiently as Akihito struggles to get the words out. The man continues to feed Akihito okonomiyaki. “Do you know what I think, Aki-chan? I think that they miss you just as much, if not more. If they had a choice, they would stay with you. But they have work to do. They’ll come back as soon as they’re able. In the meantime, you have lots of people who love you here.”

Akihito nods. That’s true. 

“Daddy is here for you. I’ll have to go away to do work sometimes, too. But that doesn’t mean I love you less, or that I think about you less. I’ll still wake up with you and I’ll see you everyday. No matter what, you will always have someone who loves you with you.”

Asami stares seriously into Akihito’s eyes. 

“I promise you, Akihito. I’ll never turn you away. I will never ignore you, or disregard your words. You’re important to me. You’re important to lots of people. And I will always love you, no matter what you do or what you say. So tell me if you’re lonely, or sad, or angry. Tell me if anyone hurts you or if anything hurts. Tell me anything you want at all times. Throw tantrums and scream at me. Hit me. I don’t care. You’re my precious Akihito. You’re my light in the darkness.”

Akihito’s heart is in his chest. 

“I love you, Aki-chan. Daddy loves you.”

Akihito’s so used to breaking, he thinks he’s breaking again. But he’s not. It’s different. It hurts but doesn’t. It feels the same, but not, in a way Akihito can’t put his finger on.

But it hurts in a way that feels good. Like glass reheating to fix a crack. Like clay re-wetting to reshape itself. Like some parts of his heart are fuller, now.

“Daddy loves me? Really loves me?” He asks, voice glass.

“Yes, Aki-chan. Daddy loves you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featuring Asami monologuing. Man does Asami never shut up when it's about Akihito in canon and out


	23. Bird of Prey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems like such a long time ago when he was watching the shadows for prey. Now he's the prey. No, he was always the prey.

“Can I say something, daddy? Don’t be angry.” Akihito peers over at Asami. 

“Go ahead, Aki-chan.” Asami encourages. The man looks up from his reports. Kirishima is on the left side of the table on a computer. The three of them are at Sion in daddy’s office. It’s big and with lots of windows.

“When. When you were in me, it felt  _ good _ .” He whispers. “Why did it feel good?”

Kirishima chokes. 

  
  
“OKei-Kei! OKei-Kei!” Akihito runs over to shove a bottle of water into glasses secretary’s hands, abandoning his book in beginner Chinese.

Kirishima Kei waves away the water. “I’m alright. I’m okay. Just choked on my spit.”

Asami snickers, not discretely. 

“Why did it feel itchy and hot?” Akihito asks again.

“When two people love each other very much, sometimes they do things to each other’s bodies that make them feel the way you described. It’s called making love. Or fucking. Or having sex.” Asami closes the manilla files and puts down his pen. “Why do you ask? Are you curious?”

Kirishima continues to choke every so often in the background but waves Akihito away whenever the boy sends a worried look his way.

“Does everyone feel that itchy and hot?”

Asami picks the boy up so that Akihito sits on the desk to face the businessman. “Many people do. Some people don’t. Because many people do feel itchy and hot and they like it very much, they like to have sex.”

Oh. That makes sense. “So people just have sex with other people to feel good?”

Asami smiles, evaluating Akihito. “Some people do.”

Akihito’s confused. He knows that some people have sex and love each other. “So if someone likes someone else very much, and likes sex but doesn’t want to have sex, is that okay?”

“Yes, Aki-chan. That’s okay.”

“So… people just randomly choose someone close to them and have sex?”

Asami slides a hand through his hair. Kirishima has given up on choking and has just settled back to watch the exchange like a ping-pong match.

“Some people do that.” Kirishima interjects, walking closer to sit by Aki. Asami leans back and smiles. “But many people want to have sex with someone they’re attracted to. It’s called sexual attraction. People can look at others and think to themselves, “I want to have sex with them” or can imagine them having sex with that person. Maybe they get nervous and tingly, or hot and itchy in their tummy. It all depends on the person. If I smell a cake and think it smells good, that’s being attracted. If I want to eat the cake, that’s called desire.”

“But. I haven’t ever felt attraction. Or desire.” Akihito tries to verbalize through his distress. “Why? You said lots of people do, so why don’t I?”

Asami hugs Akihito tight. “It’s okay. Some people never do. And that’s alright. They live happy and full lives without experiencing sexual attraction. If someone never tastes a lemon cake, they can live just as good of a life as someone who does eat lemon cakes regularly. Eating or not eating lemon cakes doesn’t make or break a person. Daddy loves you just as much if you never want to eat a lemon cake, Aki-chan.”

Akihito giggles a bit at the analogy. “You’ll still love me even if I don’t ever think you’re a good looking lemon cake?”

“I will, Aki-chan. Don’t you worry.”

“Then can you make me feel hot and itchy again? Please, daddy?” When the bad men did it, Akihito didn’t like it. When FeiLong did it, Akihito liked some of it but didn’t like the rest of it. But Akihito trusts daddy. Trusts that daddy won’t hurt him like those other men.

Something primal flashes on Asami’s face. “With pleasure, baby boy.”

Kirishima ducks into his computer, blushing halfway up his ears, typing away madly.

“If you want to pause, say yellow. We’ll stop and talk about things, and then resume. If you want to stop, say red. If you like something, say green. And Akihito? Do tell me everything you like.”

Akihito nods. Okay? Akihito can do those things.

Asami smirks, bloodthirsty. And dives in for a kiss. 

The kiss is hungry and searching. Dominating. Akihito finds it weird. It makes him want a bottle of milk. “Yellow?” He breathes into Asami’s mouth.

Asami stops immediately, concerned. 

“Kisses make me hungry. I want milk. And cake!”

Asami’s worried lines disappear. He smiles. “Sure, baby boy. Daddy will give you some milk. Some special milk. And some tasty lemon cake.”

Kirishima makes a half-strangled noise.

Akihito cheers, pumping his fist. “Yay! Can we finish this later?”

At that, Asami full-on laughs. “Yes, we can finish this later.”

**

Akihito carefully looks over the phone. It’s sleek and small enough to fit into his hand. It has three contacts: Daddy (Yoh-Yoh), Mommy, and Daddy (Asami). It also has three pictures: One of FeiLong, one of Yoh, and one of them posing together with Teremok on Yoh’s head.

“Your other daddy and mommy wanted to give you this so you could contact them, even when they’re away. You can call them or text them anytime.” Asami explains patiently, sliding a hand under Akihito’s briefs and shorts to tickle lightly at his belly.

Akihito laughs and squirms, entranced by the technology. He hasn’t held a phone in well over a year. It feels wrong, somehow.

“If you ever get lonely, you can also call them anytime. They’ll pick up.”

Akihito nods, catching his breath from the tickling. “Will you pick up, too?”

“I will.” Asami answers, easy. “Now that we’re fed and watered, do you want dessert?”

“But we just had cake?”

Asami licks his canine. “I meant another kind of dessert, Aki-chan.” The man shifts his hand down to fondle between Akihito’s legs.

“Oh.” Daddy continues to play with his body. Akihito’s breaths come in faster. He starts to feel more sparks of itchy-hot-good. The blond hangs onto the businessman, hips grinding down in circles on the fingers. 

“That’s it, Aki-chan. Does it feel good? Green?”

“Green.” Akihito moans. He grinds harder. A finger circles his hole, insistently.

His breaths come out in pants. He clings onto Asami, trying impaling himself on that finger when it stretches him deliciously. His voice comes out, unbidden, long and drawn out.

“Good?”

“Good. Green.” The blond repeats, slurring. 

His shorts and pants are slid off in a blink, and Asami throws him onto the bed. The man follows shortly behind, divesting himself of his clothes and taking off Akihito’s shirt. Once they’re both naked, Asami leans over the incubus and starts licking all the way down his ears and neck and chest, down to his hips and legs. 

The man holds Akihito down so that the blond can’t writhe away. Akihito gasps and shuts his eyes tight, fingers clenching hard into the older man’s shoulders. He arches his back and neck, to get closer or get away from the digits he doesn’t know.

“Your sweet mewls just make me hungrier, Aki-kitten.” Asami growls.

The man spends eons just licking here, biting there, drawing out sounds Akihito can’t seem to control. 

By the end, Akihito’s a shivering mess, and Asami looks like nothing has touched a hair on his head. “Was that good, Aki-chan?”

Akihito sighs and nods. “That was super good. Can we do it more? Now?”

“Careful or I might think I got you addicted. Your mommy and other daddy wouldn't approve.”

“But it feels so good! More? Please?”

“Good job using your manners.” Asami smirks, self-satisfied. 

**

“Mommy! Daddy!” Akihito screams into the phone with Teremok. There’s Yoh and FeiLong, pixilated on the tiny screen. 

“Are you being good for your daddy?” Mommy raises an eyebrow while lounging on one of the opulent fainting couches in BaiShe HQ.

Akihito nods. He’s been so good.

“Good boy, Aki-chan.” Yoh smiles gently. 

“Have you been missing us?” Mommy smirks.

“Maybe.” Akihito hedges. “Maybe not…” 

Kirishima chuckles. “He’s been positively clinging to Asami these past few days. Wouldn’t even let boss go to the bathroom by himself. Once, Asami tried to take a shower and Akihito worked himself up so much he almost threw up.”

It wasn’t like that! Akihito wasn’t like that at all! O-Kei Kei is a tattletale.

Asami is at the corner of the bedroom in a suit and with a glass of bourbon. It’s the first time in days he’s seen Daddy in a suit. Daddy has been home looking over more reports with OKei-Kei before suggesting Akihito to contact mommy and daddy.

“We’re not leaving you, Aki-chan.” Yoh leans over the camera, eyebrows concerned. “We didn’t leave you. Nobody is leaving you. You’re not going to be kidnapped again.”

Akihito shakes his head, hiding his face from the camera and burrowing it into Teremok. The boy is on his stomach on the bed. “You can’t promise that!” His words are muffled. At times, he feels like nobody really understands him but Yoh. Yoh always knows what Akihito’s thinking.

Asami puts a hand on Akihito’s shoulders and rubs consolingly. “You’re not going to get kidnapped again, Aki-chan. Every adult around you promises to protect you.”

FeiLong and Yoh say nothing. Kirishima sighs into his manilla folders.

“Your daddies and mommy will try our hardest to make sure you don’t get kidnapped, Aki-chan.” Asami reassures. “And combined, we have a lot of power. That means that we can do lots to prevent you from getting taken away again.”

Akihito reaches out to grasp at Asami’s hand and hugs it tight to his chest. He doesn’t look up. “Don’t want to get stolen away again.” He murmurs.

“You won’t under my watch.” Asami responds, manhandling the boy so he’s sitting on the man’s lap. “I appreciate your dedication to sticking near me. But I won’t be going anywhere.”

Akihito will stick to Asami whether or not the man stays. He’s lost so many people already. He’s scared.

“I’ll protect you, Aki-chan. I won’t be going anywhere.”

“Okay.” Akihito’s throat is rough. “Promise? That you won’t leave me?”

“Promise.” Asami echoes. So does Yoh and FeiLong’s tinny voices. 

Akihito feels like he’s waking up after resting his eyes. The world is the same, just shifted even though he knows nothing has shifted.

The boy absentmindedly mouths at Asami’s chest. In the background, Yoh laughs.

FeiLong laughs too. “He did that to me too when he was sleeping. Guess he was dreaming of yummy food, huh Aki-chan?” Akihito can’t see the screen from here, but he knows FeiLong’s eyes are glimmering. Yoh snorts something unintelligible.

Akihito stills and jerks back, shocked. What is he doing? Did he actually do that to mommy?

Asami huffs an amused breath. “It’s almost dinnertime. Do you want a bottle now or later, Aki-chan?”

“I want cake!” The blond declares.

“No dessert until dessert time, Aki-chan.” Yoh chides. 

Akihito whines. He wants cake. “Bottle now?” His face is squished into Asami’s chest.

Kirishima bows and leaves for the kitchen. Asami turns serious. “He’s still bleeding, but only a few drops now. His pain from the IUD and from discipline are fading. He can sleep through the night with me and Teremok. 0.05 mg of melatonin settles him if nothing else works. How is the mess on your end?”

FeiLong’s voice is pensive and tired. “Satisfactory. Yantsui is dead, with no major losses on our side. We have taken over the organization. Mikhail has helped with the mess, surprisingly. He wants to visit Aki-chan soon.”

Kirishima returns with the bottle and gently slides it into Akihito’s lips. The boy takes to it. It’s a comfort by now. It’s nice. Lavender hazelnut.

“Your brother will do well to stay dead.” Asami’s chest rumbles. “Well, we can always invite the ferret over when Akihito is testing his new battle feathers.”

The joke falls flat. FeiLong snarls. “Even then. I'd rather him not visit Aki-chan. After that man had him, he came back so thin and trembling I could see the ridges of his spine. A strong enough wind would have snapped Aki-chan in half. And he dares to call himself Aki-chan’s daddy.”

Asami lifts up Akihito’s shirt up to his shoulders. The boy stirs and settles, snuffling into Asami’s warmth. He’s tired after that emotional upheaval. He’s peaceful now. Everybody promises to not leave him.

“Looks better. More color to his cheeks.” FeiLong’s fainting couch creaks as the man adjusts himself into a new posture. “You better be feeding him well.”

“He’s still not eating well enough. He’s only gained less than a fourth of a kilogram since we got him back.”

“Try sneaking in more calories into his milk?” Yoh suggests.

“If he still doesn’t gain enough weight by the time we’re finished here I’ll bring back another pot of soup. This time for appetite stimulation.”

Asami laughs. “That’ll be an adequate enough threat for him.” A fond pause. “He’s still sleeping on his stomach.”

Akihito stirs. Asami shushes him back to a semi-sleep. FeiLong replies. “Is he eating enough? In other ways?”

“Still some trouble with that.”

Yoh suggests quietly. “Rotate rewards. Let him pick a choice out of three. Egg tarts, belly rubs, crime thrillers, sleeping atop someone maybe. Easing into the feeding helps. So does staying with him for a while afterwards. I can give you a list of rewards that worked.”

Asami nods. It tickles Akihito’s hair. “I’m hungry, daddy.” Akihito sleepily smacks his lips slowly. He knows he heard the conversation. But the words elude him. His memory of it seems amorphous. What were they talking about?

FeiLong chuckles. “Hungry little guy? Make sure to eat a lot, Aki-chan.”

“Mommy? You’re here?”

“And so is your other daddy.” FeiLong saucily replies.

“Mommy? Daddy? When are you coming back?”

“When they’re done with business in Hong Kong, Aki-chan.” Asami cuts in. “It’s nothing to worry about. They’ll be back soon, and then you can show them how good you are with your new battle feathers.”

“Oh! Yeah! Look!” Akihito remembers experimenting with his feathers when he was supposed to be napping. He was trying to figure out why his wings felt so light, and discovered that they transformed to be half flames. He concentrates on the essence of life energy coating his wings and pours more into them, to make them visible.

“Good job, Aki-chan.” Asami congratulates. Mommy and other daddy repeat the congratulations. 

Akihito arches his wings and shakes them. He watches as shadows of invisible feathers become smaller and smaller until there are no shadows while his loose feathers float to the ground. 

It seems like such a long time ago when he was watching the shadows for prey. Now he's the prey. No, he was always the prey.

A few minutes later, Asami carries him to dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexual little space
> 
> Featuring asexuality! And a patient Asami.


	24. daddy, *daddy*, and Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiss kiss fall in love!

“What book do you want to read?”

“That one.” Akihito points. “I can get it!” The book is up high on the shelf. 

Asami lowers the boy down to the carpet and sits regally into his imposing chair. The man nods. 

Akihito reaches for the book. He can’t get it, so he balances on the tips of his toes. He still can’t get it. Impatient, Akihito starts climbing the bookcase.

“Get off, Aki-chan!” Asami runs from his seat to Akihito. 

It’s too late. The bookcase already starts tipping forward, with Akihito on it. The boy jumps off and a thick hardcover hits the blond’s right wing as he lands. 

_ Crackcrackcrackcrack. _

Akihito lands wings splayed and on bandaged feet. His pinion hurts so much he’s nauseous. Asami sweeps him off his feet just as Akihito lists to the side to heave.

“Heal, Aki-chan. Concentrate.” Asami commands, holding Akihito tight, rocking the boy as the man beelines for the kitchen, calling for Kirishima. 

He tries to concentrate, but the pain makes it hard. It’s too much. Everything hurts too much. He’s crying and throws up at Kirishima’s feet when the man appears from behind a door. 

Another set of footsteps appear with Kirishima, but Akihito pays it no mind as he tries to control his shuddering breathing. 

“Concentrate and heal, Aki-chan.” It’s… Mikhail?!

Akihito clings only Asami with his good side. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” He screams in short breaths, inconsolable. It hurts too much. He’s getting snot all over the men.

Asami bounces him lightly, careful to not jostle his wing. “Heal, Aki-chan. C’mon. Breathe through the pain. Concentrate.”

Kirishima reappears with a numbing gel, gently slathering it over the purpling, crooked wing. The broken feathers and flesh make it visible. The boy wails all the way through it.

The numbing helps. Through what seems like an eternity of pain, Akihito finally gains a grasp on healing. His healing sputters out and he grits his teeth and cries as a new wave of pain hits, but the two men encourage him through it. 

Kirishima applies more gel. The antiseptic smell is sharp and pungent, but it helps him breathe easier.

His cries get weaker. He’s just sniffling now, his wing aching some. It’s otherwise numb. Akihito is almost done healing, and he’s dropping. His energy falls like a skydiver off a cliff. 

His eyelids droop, and he’s hiccuping lightly every so often. Asami shushes him and continues bouncing him, holding him tight, rocking him. Mikhail holds his arm that was just healed.

“That was quite a welcome, Aki-chan. Make sure to not climb bookcases in the future, hm?” Mikhail muses.

Akihito sleepily nods into the crook of Asami’s neck, rhythmically puffing warm breaths into daddy’s skin. His hiccups are stopping, now.

Asami grumbles. “You’re early.”

“How could I resist Aki-chan? It’s been a long while since I’ve seen him, after all.”

Akihito’s too drowsy to react to Mikhail’s presence. Waves attempt to drag him down to sleep. 

Asami softly shakes him. “Don’t fall asleep just yet. Take. I’ll get you an egg tart if you do.”

Akihito’s tired. He doesn’t want to take life energy. He just wants to sleep. But egg tarts… “Two?” Akihito bargains.

Mikhail snickers. 

“Two egg tarts it is.” Asami blithely bulldozes on. Kirishima nods and exits the penthouse, reminding Mikhail something about a nonviolence truce.

Akihito slowly begins to reach inside him, to open up his hungry cavern. He leisurely extends tendrils of energy to Asami and suckles steadily as Asami halfway unclothes them both to increase skin contact.

“You’re exceedingly soft with him. Melted butter. Pudding.”

Asami narrows his eyes at Mikhail’s nonplussed expression. “How many accidents did he get into?”

Mikhail smiles grimly. “More like how many did he not get into. He’s a curious little bugger. Gets into everything. The only thing you can do is nail down everything you can see. That, and child safety locks.”

Akihito makes a questioning noise. Asami pets and bounces and shushes him. “You’re alright, Aki-chan. Take more.” 

Mikhail watches pensively. “I’m not supplying any more blonds.”

Asami tilts his head. “I would have expected the opposite of you.”

“There’s more to me than my stunning looks, you know.” Mikhail dismisses. He sighs. “After the auction, it doesn’t seem right.”

“If you want to repay me, do it by hunting down auction houses in your own country.”

“Choking the flow would only make more business for my neighbors. I’m not on an island like you.”

“Maybe all that land will help you when you’re running from Aki-chan’s new battle feathers.”

Mikhail brightens visibly. “He got new ones? He’s growing so fast.” His voice is nostalgic.

“You’re looking at them now.”

“... they’re invisible?!”

**

“So where is Suzuki? He taking a break?” Mikhail lounges on the couch. Akihito is squirming atop Mikhail, hands sticky with milk.

Asami is across from them, going through reports with Kirishima. 

Akihito frowns. “He. Was all red.” He parses out. His tongue is thick. Stuck in his mouth. “And then. His fire blew out.”

Behind Akihito, Asami subtly shakes his head. Mikhail nods in understanding. 

“Oh, I’m sorry Aki-chan. I wasn’t thinking. Do you want to play with Teremok?”

Akihito nods. “Can me and Teremok have kogel mogel?” He wants food! He’s always hungry these days. It seems like the more he eats, the hungrier he gets.

“Sure.” Mikhail exaggerates a big heave as he gets up with Akihito on his chest. The man picks Teremok up on the way to the kitchen. 

“Charlotte russe? Ptichye moloko? Sharlotka? Kissel?” 

Mikhail laughs. “A tea party and not inviting daddy? Sneaky sneaky, Aki-chan.”

“It’s with you and Teremok and daddy!”

“Oh?” A saucy smirk to Asami.

“No! First daddy is  _ daddy  _ and second daddy is daddy and Daddy is Daddy!” Akihito grips his wings around Mikhail as the man putters around the kitchen. 

“So which one am I?

Akihito shrugs. He doesn’t care. He’s thinking about cakes.

Ten minutes later, a man appears with all he’s mentioned as well as rose varenye and medovik and five other cakes. How? They’re in Japan, not Russia. He isn’t sure there are even patisseries around the area that carry Russian cakes. 

“Tea party time!”

**

Mikhail stands stock still as he stares at the diamond cut clean in half. 

“Aki’s sorry! I didn’t mean to break your shiny stone!” The boy clutches to his wayward feather that cut the stone. He can’t see the plumage but he can feel the soft flames licking into his skin. 

In the background, someone is hyena wheezing. They’ve been playing around with all of the men who were at Akihito’s bodyguard choosing. Asami encouraged Akihito to play around with his new feathers.

“It’s okay.” Mikhail mouths. “It was just a synthetic diamond.”

“Oh.” Akihito makes his feather combust into blue stygian flames, illuminating the dojo. Some men twitch. “If it makes you feel better, you can hug Teremok!”

Akihito offers Teremok with both arms outstretched to Mikhail. The man takes the bear. “Aw, thank you cutie pie. Daddy feels much better now.”

“Teremok is the best!”

“The bear daddy got for you is indeed the best, isn’t he?”

Akihito empathetically nods. 

“Why don’t we play with something else, Aki-chan?” Suggests Kirishima. The man looks shaken.

“Okay!” Akihito scrunches his eyebrows and plucks a fallen feather from the floor. Using the feather as a focus, he slowly creates a ball of fire. The shifting flames are only visible from how it electrifies the air around it. “Catch!”

He throws the ball to Mikhail. Misha sputters and catches it on instinct, staring dumbfounded at his hands. The man recovers quickly and throws it to Asami. “What a nice little ball you made, Aki-chan. I love the color. You like daddy best, right?”

“Yeah! I like daddy!”

Asami’s mouth presses together. “Aki-chan, you love Daddy best.” The man passes the ball back to Mikhail with an intensity.

“I want to marry Daddy!”

“Do you like Russian food better, Aki-chan?” Mikhail smirks and punts the ball fast to Asami.

“Cakes are delicious!” He nods. Russian cakes are so good.

“Aki-chan likes spending time with his uncle OKei-Kei and Kuroda better than with you.”

“I like OKei-Kei and Shinji-ji?” It is true. Why are they spitting out facts while passing the ball of flames faster and faster to each other? The bodyguards watch the intense match like kittens watching a string, heads bobbing in sinc.

“Aki-chan got to go outside every day with me. He likes swimming and taking walks in the garden.”

“Aki-chan is safe with me. He has people around him who protect him and love him.” Akihito would have never thought Asami would say something like that when he first met the man. To talk about love so easily…

“At least he had an education with me.”

“At least he’s not in a dog’s shock collar with me.”

The ball lies in between the two men, forgotten. They glare lasers into each other’s eyes. 

Aki-chan giggles and claps his hands. “Kiss kiss fall in love!”

That seems to break the awkwardness. Mikhail chuckles with a hand scratching his head. 

Asami turns and gestures lazily to Akihito. “Come to daddy, Aki-chan.”

Akihito runs to Daddy, Teremok in hand. Daddy catches him and lifts him up. “Daddy! Daddy!” Akihito squeals in joy. He clings to Daddy like a monkey, breathless and eyes alight.

Asami’s smile to Mikhail is full and self-satisfactory. “The choice has been made.”

Misha’s sunny smile gains a dark edge. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy your turkeys, you heathens


	25. Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One Happy FamilyTM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy December 1st yo. May you scramble to do all that you planned to do this year and make more things for yourself to do by next month

The bird chirps, short and sweet and clear. On the netted balcony, Akihito imitates the sound. The bird stares at Akihito and chirps a more complicated tune.

Akihito copies it back. He then challenges a harder tune. 

There’s a gathering of curious birds around him now, of all species. They chirp over each other, overlapping in a cacophonic mess, challenging Akihito.

Akihito copies them back the best he can, one by one. It’s hard to parse them. The birds yell over him, dares over dares.

“Aki-chan?” Misha asks, hair mused from sleep. “Ah. You silly boy. Do you want to eat breakfast with daddy?”

Akihito breaks his stare from the crowd of birds and flashes a sunny smile. “Food!”

“I need to check his strings first.” Asami emerges from the closet, shirtless and showing off his washboard abs. How the man maintains such a physique on just alcohol and angst is incomprehensible to Akihito. 

“Breakfast? Please?”

“I’ll feed you while I check your strings, how about that?”

Asami lays the boy down. Akihito’s back is to the bed, his calves around Asami’s head. He’s wearing nothing underneath Asami’s dress shirt he’s stolen.

“Spread your legs, Aki-chan.”

Akihito holds onto Teremok and gazes into Mikhail’s eyes. The little blond makes different poses with Teremok, enacting a bear jumping and rolling on clouds with the appropriate noises while he’s chewing on an apple slice, thighs open.

Asami, without preamble, slicks up a finger and probes around the deepest the digit can go. 

“His eyes are so wide. Innocent. Trusting.” It seems like Mikhail doesn’t notice himself uttering these words. 

“Didn’t take you for the sentimental type, leather jacket daddy.”

“Like you’re any better? Look at what you’ve done to him.”

“You’re all good to go, Aki-chan.” Asami closes Akihito’s legs, wipes his hands on a baby wipe, and starts dressing him. “What do you want for breakfast, little kitten? Omurice? Misoshiru? Natto?”

Mikhail laughs at Akihito’s reaction to the last option. “No natto for Aki-chan, then.”

Akihito nods, swallowing the rest of the apple. “Syrinki?”

“Missing home, I see?” Misha ruffles Akihito’s hair. 

“Miss Suzu.”

“I miss him too, buddy. I miss him too.”

**

“Wow, look at you! You’ve grown taller, Aki-chan!” Misha gushes. 

Akihito blushes. It’s the first time since Misha visited that Akihito’s stood up. He’s always been carried and coddled and sitting.

Asami smiles. “Six centimeters.”

“You grew 6 centimeters? Whoa! Soon, you’ll be taller than daddy!”

Akihito nods. “Teremok is the tallest and fiercest, though!” He crouches, face towering over Misha. The man is lying on his back atop the sofa. Huh. No wonder why he’s been getting new clothes recently.

Misha readily agrees. “Teremok sure is. You think maybe he’ll be hungry from being tall and fierce?”

The blond giggles, imitating a grand rawr with Teremok. The bear lands on Misha’s stomach and does a twirl. “Hop on daddy!”

Kirishima drops off a warm bottle at Asami’s paperwork. The crime lord saunters to Akihito, petting the boy’s crown braided hair and gently nudging it into the boy’s lips. 

“Aki-chan’s one seventy-five centimeters now.”

The incubus sucks, content on the milk, head resting on Misha’s belly. His eyelids gradually close. Misha’s heartbeat is familiar and strong, loud and steady. 

As he falls asleep, he feels a hand lifting his shirt up to trace a trail up his spine and over his ribs. The adults murmur about trade deals and nutrition plans and death tolls. He makes a noise and the hand smoothes down his back, rocking him back to the waves, the thump-thump security of a warm, undying heart.

**

The woman is talking to Asami and Mikhail, distant and words clear but muddled. He knows he can hear the sounds perfectly fine, but the constants and vowels escape him.

Akihito’s watching a nature documentary on tv. It’s pretty pretty colors, with pretty pretty dolphins and fish and corals. The sound washes over him, the colors crisp. He can’t move his eyes off the screen.

“-five things you hear.” The tv is turned off. He still stares at the screen, like he’s hypnotized.

What? He slowly turns his head, like a marionette, to the woman. She’s out of focus, like the rest of the room. She slowly comes more in focus. 

“Tell me five things you hear, Aki-chan.”

“Waves. Thump-thump. Static.” He has to listen. What else is there? “You. Daddy? Misha?”

They’re indeed all there, crouching down around him. 

“Very good, Aki-chan! Today we’re going to go outside. Isn’t that fun?”

Outside? Akihito hasn’t been outside the building since he came back from the police station. All the playdates he’s had in the dojo has been in the dojo a few floors down. 

Anxiety simmers low in his stomach. The woman smiles sunnily. "C'est mon Aki-chan! Let’s get your shoes on!”

Misha chooses his jacket and boots. It’s winter, now. But Akihito wouldn’t know. He hasn’t gone outside in months. He hasn’t put on shoes in months. The boots feel weird on his feet. Bulky. Boxy.

They all go down the elevator. Akihito, Asami, Misha, and the therapist. Kirishima stayed in the penthouse to make dinner. 

The elevator dings. The doors slide open. They’re in the lobby. 

Akihito can see the street from here, through the glass entrance. The air in his lungs still. His vision is stuck on that little strip of visible concrete, that portal into the outside world. 

He smells the loud mess of people and life. He hears honks and heartbeats and the shuffle of shoes on concrete and birds and thousands of other noises. It’s so much.

Dread fills his stomach. He doesn’t know why he’s so terrified. His feet don't take him forward. He knows he’s not going to get kidnapped again. Nothing is going to happen. 

“Aki-chan. Breath with me. Inhale.” The woman mimics a large, clownish inhale. Then she blows it out. “Exhale. C’mon. You’re alright. You’re in the apartment lobby. It’s 16:40. It’s December third. You’re in Tokyo, Japan, Shinjuku ward. You’re with your daddies. Can you tell me something about the lobby?”

“Twenty-six people were in the lobby the past week.”

“That’s good, Aki-chan. Tell me one more thing about the lobby?”

Barely a whiff of old blood. Stale. Akihito turns to it. There’s not a stain. But he’s healed so many people he knows the feeling. “Someone around 33 years old died of a stab wound to the stomach over there. He hurt. Lots.” He points. The words come out of him disconnected. It’s not fun Akihito or silly Aki-chan here. It’s something else. Something older, without joy, without light.

“I want to anchor you. Can I touch you, Aki-chan? Or would you like to touch your daddies?” The woman crouches down to him, voice even and calm.

Akihito shakes his head slowly. Smoothly, like a robot. His vision lands on his Daddy. 

Asami approaches and kneels in front of Akihito, hand up. Misha doesn’t say anything as he stares at where the blood stain should be. “Can I touch you, Aki-chan?”

The blond inclines his head the tiniest bit. Asami, quicker than Akihito can comprehend, lifts Akihito off his feet and hugs the boy tight into a front-side piggy back. The businessman positions the blond’s head right above the man’s beating heart, the thumping steady and thick.

“You’re good, Aki-chan. You’re a good boy. I want you to come back down. Talk to me. What is your favorite part of daddy?”

That’s easy. “How loud Daddy’s heart is”

Asami’s heart skips. Was this not the answer daddy expected?

“What ice cream flavor do you like? Vanilla? Red bean?”

“Pistachio.”

“Mmm. That’s tasty! I like pistachio ice cream too.”

A small, muted giggle works its way up his throat for a second. The woman smiles.

“Can you look at the doorway for me, Aki-chan? Tell me two details about it.”

“Glass.”

The psychologist nods along.

“And big.”

“That’s great, Aki-chan. Do you like the doorway? How does the doorway make you feel?”

“Like. It’s too big. The stuff outside the door. It makes me feel scared. Like I’m going to be taken away again if I go outside the door.”

“You won’t be taken away, Aki-chan. Your Daddy will be with you.” Asami’s arms clutch tighter around Akihito. It makes the boy feel better. More secure. 

The woman nods. “Your Daddy is right. Your Daddy will protect you. I know it’s hard to make your feelings know it, even if you know it. Take your time, Aki-chan. You don’t have to go outside now, or tomorrow, or a year from now. You don’t have to go outside at all. But wouldn’t it be nice to play with me for a bit down here from now on? I really like the big, big windows! Wow! You would be really doing me a  _ big  _ favor by coming down here whenever I visit.”

Akihito doesn’t respond.

“If you don’t want to play with me, I bet one of your daddies really likes the big windows here, too!” Mikhail nods along to the woman. “You can look up and see trees from the window! And you can read here, and play lots of games here too. Isn’t it nice?”

Slowly, Akihito nods. What’s this lady’s obsession with getting him to the windows? “Misha likes here?”

“Misha does! Isn’t it great down here, next to the street? Daddy loves going outside, Aki-chan. Maybe someday you can come outside with me.” 

Oh. ”Maybe?” That explains why Misha was always taking walks and going to other places. Misha sure likes outside.

Everyone sends him big smiles. Akihito curls his fingers into Daddy’s dress shirt. “You’re good, Aki-chan. You’re a very good boy.”

**

Akihito lies on his back to the bed, belly full and bursting with warm noodles and ice cream. Asami unbuttons his dress shirt. 

Mikhail is already on the bed, lounging and reading out loud a story about a giant turnip. In Russian. Akihito’s pretty sure it’s some kind of passive-aggressive jab at something.

Asami takes off his belt. The  _ shlick shlick _ sound jolts cold down his veins. His pupils dilate. 

Akihito jumps under the covers and hides, trembling. “I’m a good boy, I’m a good boy, I’m a good boy.” He whispers to himself, frantically.

It alarms the men. “Aki-chan! Are you okay? What happened?” Mikhail stops his reading, book abandoned on the floor. The Russian reaches over to lift the cover, only for Akihito to slam the blanket down so he’s hidden.

The boy’s quick breathing makes the air under the cover thick and humid. 

Footsteps. “Aki-chan.” It’s Asami. “I won’t be mad. I’m going to lift up the cover so you can breathe, Aki-chan. I’m not going to do anything else.”

After a tense few seconds, Asami slowly lifts the covers enough so there’s a hole large enough for him to breathe through. Akihito spots Asami holding an inhaler ready in his left hand. 

“What’s going on inside your head, Aki-chan? Talk to me.” Asami sits on the floor beside the bed. It should have been ridiculous: the crime lord is half undressed in his business slacks and has no shirt on, but he looks as impeccable as always.

The two men wait in companionable silence, waiting for Akihito. After a long while, Akihito gathers his breath. “I’m a good boy?”

“Of course you are, baby boy. You’re always good for me.” Asami reassures.

“You’re the best boy for anyone to ever have, Aki-chan. Daddy loves you  _ this  _ much!” Mikhail stretches his arms wide like he’s carrying a big ball. It makes Akihito’s lips quirk up.

“Oh.” Akihito forgets why he’s scared of the sound of a belt. It’s not like he’s been hurt or  _ abused _ . Nothing happened. He was just a big drama queen every time he earned himself a spanking. He’s being a drama queen now.

“What was on your mind, Aki-chan?” Presses Asami. But Akihito only shrugs. 

Akihito doesn’t say anything more, but from then on nobody around him wears belts.


	26. Work Life Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t leave me, Daddy! Take me wherever you go. Please.” He can’t imagine Asami leaving to enter another room, or forbid, another building. He can’t fathom Asami doing something without him. It’s torture. Like he’s going to die. Asami can’t leave him. “I’ll be a good boy.”

“Whoa whoa Aki-chan! Calm down! You’re okay. You’re okay.” Misha frantically tries to placate an inconsolable Akihito. The boy started screaming just a few seconds ago. He tried to hide his sniffles and rising panic, but he couldn't. He needs Asami. It feels like he’s going to die if he can’t see Asami.

The Russian found Akihito pawing at the door lock mechanism through blurry eyes, clumsy and desperate.

Mikhail takes the sobbing boy into his arms and rocks them both, around and around. At first, Akihito’s screams take a higher pitch, but then he starts sniffling and sobbing instead, voice horse. He’s still as frantic. He can’t control it. It hurts. It’s terrifying. Asami can’t just leave. He can’t. He can’t leave Akihito.

Asami bursts into the penthouse. “What is it?”

“Separation anxiety. Bad.” Mikhail mouths over the hysterics.

Another body wraps itself around Akihito. For a second, Akihito struggles and screams as hard as he can with his horse voice, but then he recognizes Asami’s murmured reassurances and warm beating heart.

It takes almost another hour for Akihito to calm down enough to stop crying. He clings a death grip onto Asami the entire time. 

“I’m not going to leave you, Aki-chan. Daddy will never leave you.”

“...” Akihito doesn’t muster up the strength to reply.

“Daddy’s sorry he had to go to work before you woke up. It must have been scary to not know where I was. I’m sorry, Aki-chan.”

Akihito nods. “Don’t leave me, Daddy! Take me wherever you go. Please.” He can’t imagine Asami leaving to enter another room, or forbid, another building. He can’t fathom Asami doing something without him. It’s torture. Like he’s going to die. Asami can’t leave him. “I’ll be a good boy.”

Asami sighs.

**

Shinji-ji laughs, wiping his glasses. “Wow, you’ve grown so big. I think you’ll get taller than me, Aki-chan.”

“Really?” Akihito cocks his head. He’s still a good head and a half shorter than everyone in the room. There’s no way he’s going to get that tall. 

Shinji-ji nods stoically. “You’ve grown a lot. I think you’re going to grow up to be just as big and strong as your daddy.”

At Akihito’s face, Asami huffs. “You’re already big and strong in your own way, Aki-chan. Don’t worry.”

“Strong enough so nobody ever leaves me again?” The blond dares to ask.

Asami crouches in front of the boy. “Aki-chan. People are going to enter and leave your life. It’s natural.”

What? He shakes his head. No. Daddy can’t leave. Daddy can’t leave like how Suzu did. “Daddy?” He whispers, untethered.

He wants daddy so much. Akihito opens his arms and tilts his head. Obliging, Asami effortlessly lifts him up. Cradles his head. “Daddy loves you. Daddy won’t leave you. You won’t be stolen away again.”

Akihito clutches onto Asami’s shoulders. 

“Daddy has to go to work. Sometimes, Daddy can’t bring you along. But there will always be someone who loves you with you, Aki-chan. Daddy promises.”

“Really promise?”

Asami nods. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Look at you, Ryuichi! You’re taking to parenting like a fish to water.” Shinji-ji flashes a discrete, cheesy thumbs-up.

Asami sighs longsufferingly. “There’s wine for you in the third cabinet to your left. See yourself to it. My arms are preoccupied.”

**

Kirishima strokes the boy’s blond locks and takes away the half finished bottle, heading for the kitchen. The little guy is dead asleep, limbs sprawled everywhere into an impossible position like a cat. Asami is reading the day’s briefings besides the boy. 

He remembers the first time he laid eyes on the boy. The angel jumped down three flights of stairs, taunting them with a tongue sticking out. That slippery little rascal evaded all of Souh’s men.

Akihito’s so playful. The boy has so much life. At that time, it was clear that Asami wanted to tie that brat up and have his way with him. 

The second time Takaba was mentioned was with the information leak. The CD with the incriminating evidence was wiped clean except for a GIF of a kitten meowing with the caption, “CATured you!” When Asami saw it, the boss laughed. 

That’s when Kirishima knew that to Asami, Akihito was more than just a coy, sexy little minx. He was a boy who got the great Asami Ryuichi himself indebted to him. This peaked the businessman's interest, like a leopard lifting it’s eyes on worthy prey. This was maybe, someway, to help his boss defrost his icy exterior. Back then, Kirishima couldn’t remember the last time Asami laughed. Now, his boss is laughing every day.

So it was shocking, but not unexpected, when Asami declared a deed exchange for the boy on FeiLong’s ship. Kirishima had questioned his boss’ decision. A deed of that magnitude… in exchange for a boy, barely eighteen, who the boss had seen only once? Certainly unusual.

But once Kirishima saw the golden hue and the snow-white feathers, he understood why his boss was so adamant. A boy like Akihito had indescribable value. And his boss had the perception to see that from the first glance. His doubts were unfounded. 

Akihito started as an asset. But after the boy’s protection saved everyone in the warehouse shootout, Akihito’s value started to change. The boy was just a boy. Not even eighteen, like everyone assumed, but less than a year old. An innocent, suffering under cruelty of people but not able to comprehend why. 

Three months into caring for Akihito at the penthouse, Kirishima looks around and realises the apartment has become a home. There’s knicknacks scattered everywhere, stuffed animals, tiny spoons and shirts and bowls. There’s a baby shampoo bottle next to the sleek, expensive hair products his boss favors. There’s giggles from the living room. There’s life. 

And Akihito- with his sunny smiles, his random little songs, his tiny socks that fit into the palm of Kirishima’s hands- has begun to become more than just a job. Kirishima has begun to care for the boy. He’ll gladly give up his life to protect the blond. His boss and his long-time friend is always Kirishima’s priority. But the boy has wormed into a special, impenetrable place in his heart. 

Akihito. Dear little Aki-chan, whose heart is so big yet so delicate, who's been under the hands of brutality and still came out kind. After Cherenboyl’s ship bliz, Kirishima caught a glance of Akihito’s condition. And it wasn’t pretty. 

Kirishima wishes to protect the little guy. Akihito doesn’t recognize how precious he is, how bright his soul is. What lengths people will go to get their hands on him.

Like children do, Akihito doesn’t understand his own value. How unique he is, in every way of the world. Kirishima found himself a caregiver, to an uncle, to a quasi-father with four other men. Three other men, now. 

On the bed, Asami repositions Akihito’s legs so that they’re splayed. The boy snuffles and shifts, but doesn’t wake. The blond’s skin is gold in the wash of the lamp. He understands why, now. Why everyone is so entranced by Akihito, who’s clueless to it all. 

As Asami checks Akihito’s IUD strings, Kirishima gets the car ready. Akihito’s inconsolable separation anxiety makes it so that all of the business dealings are while Akihito’s asleep, but Asami rearranges his schedule with nary but an amused huff. 

“Where to, boss?” In the driver’s seat, Kirishima dons his driving gloves. It’s going to be a long night. But seeing Akihito’s sleeping face makes it all worth it. 

“Sion.”

**

“Do you want more, Aki-chan?” Asami has Akihito laying atop the man, sucking lazily at the freely given energy. Lately, daddy’s energy is sluggish. Slow. Like daddy’s lifeforce is suppressed. 

Akihito nods. He’s still hungry. But he doesn’t want to take more from daddy. “Yu? Haru?”

Asami raises an eyebrow. “You want to take it from your friends?”

Akihito noses at Asami’s sternum. The man’s nipple is so close. He wants to wrap his lips on it and suck, ear to his daddy’s chest, hearing nothing but the thumping of daddy’s heart.

“Yuta. Haruto. Undress. Kirishima, on rotation”

“Understood, boss.” Kirishima quickly switches with the men and takes guard. 

The bodyguards stare nervously at Asami. “Boss?” Yuta’s voice pitches an octave. 

Asami answers with raised eyebrows. The two men hurriedly start stripping. “Go ahead, Aki-chan.” The businessman gently encourages the boy to crawl to his friends. “Take as much as you like.”

As Asami commanded, the men are nude. Akihito opens his arms and tilts his head to the side. 

Yuta sits on the bed, crooning. “Aw, Aki-chan. Come here.” The bodyguard hugs Akihito tight and Haruto comes from behind to sandwich the boy. 

Akihito idly probes threads of suckers through the skin on skin contact. He sighs and nuzzles into the heat, the twin heartbeats, the asynchronous breathing. Asami, on the other side of the king size bed, cracks open a binder and starts penning through reports. 

It’s easy to get lost in the repetitive suckling, but he stops himself when Haruto and Yuta start drooping. He can always eat more tomorrow.

Akihito, without fanfare, extracts himself from the pile and squirms back onto daddy, poking his head up to try to sneak a peek of what’s written in the binder.

An amused huff. “Done eating, Aki-chan?”

Akihito chirps back, content. He’s half-way full. That’s good enough. Akihito gives into temptation and mouths at the exposed nipple. 

A full-on laugh. “You hungry, Aki-chan? Yuta, Haruto, return back to your post.”

Akihito bobbles his head, keeping his lips firmly on the teat. Kirishima returns to the bedroom, passing a blushing Yuta and Haruto.

Akihito pulls and streams the lifeforce back into daddy. HIs daddy’s tired. Maybe this will help.

Once the secretary catches sight of Akihito sucking on his boss’ tits again, the man sighs. “I’ll make a warm bottle.”

Mn. A warm bottle sounds good. The blond gets lost sleepily sucking on the teat. It’s one of those moments that lasts forever, but doesn’t last long enough.

Kirishima, warm baby bottle in hand, chokes. 

Asami smirks. “Like what you see?” The smirk turns salacious. “Want your nipple sucked too?”

The secretary hands Asami the bottle. While the businessmen smoothly replaces his nipple for the rubber one, Kirishima fishes out a hand-held mirror and hands it to the boss.

At Asami’s flabbergasted, wrinkle-free mid-twenties-aged visage, Kirishima guffaws. 

**

Akihito contently smacks his lips, stretching and popping his shoulders. 

“Tasty-tasty, Aki-chan?” Haruki smiles gently down at the boy. Akihito’s just finished feeding from the bodyguard. 

“Mnn-mnn!” Akihito replies, busy trying to climb the man, now that he’s finished siphoning lifeforce. 

Sakura giggles. “Looks like you’re a tree for the foreseeable future.”

“Tree Haruki! Tree-ki!” Akihito chants. 

“Let’s get your clothes on, little man. Then maybe you can climb me when you’re getting some dinner in you.” Haruki winks goodnaturedly. 

Akihito drums his toes on Haruki’s stomach. Haruki quickly redresses himself then Akihito, patiently commanding the boy to lift his hips or to give the man his foot. 

Asami comes to the kitchen with them from the bathroom. The businessman is disappearing for longer and longer minutes. At first, it was only a few seconds. By now, daddy’s gone for five minutes at a time. It always sets Akihito’s teeth on edge, but he panics less and less every time. Because daddy comes back.

“Daddy!” He squeals, immediately waving his arms. Akihito climbs down from Haruki and clumsily putters his little feet to Asami, climbing atop the man’s thighs where daddy sits instead of his high chair where he’s supposed to eat.

“Want some sunomono, Aki-chan?” Asami teases, circling a slice of cucumber in front of Akihito’s wide eyes. 

Sugary, salty, sour deliciousness bursts on the boy’s tongue. Akihito smiles toothily, bits of sesame stuck on his chin and lips. 

“Silly, messy boy.” Daddy wipes his face with a towel. 

Haruki and Sakura move back to patrolling various areas of the penthouse, checking the perimeter. Akihito bounces on Asami’s lap, excited for the next bite. 

Kirishima sticks his head in the penthouse halfway through the meal with a package. 

Akihito stares at the box in curiosity, devouring a chocolate mousse cake. It’s rich and spongy and deep chocolatey, melting on his tongue. He can’t help but wiggle his butt when eating the dessert.

“Slow down, kitten. You’re going to choke.” Asami pets the blond’s braided locks. 

Once Akihito’s done eating and daddy wipes his mouth with a wet towel for the last time, daddy ties shoes onto Akihito’s swinging feet and carries him down the elevator with Kirishima. 

The elevator goes all the way to the ground floor. The window out to the world doesn’t seem as big as it was when he was down here with the lady. But it’s still as big. 

Daddy carries him, swaying slowly to the glass door. It’s snowing outside, little white dots drifting and landing on everything. There’s not many people on the street. The snow muffles everything, so that the lights seem magical and Akihito can’t hear the usual sludge of hundreds of people. 

It’s quiet. Serene. The loudest thing is daddy’s heart, ever steady fast. 

“Daddy?” Akihito’s fingers clench on daddy’s coat, his little fingers betraying his nervousness. Outside is so big. So unknown. So dangerous. But at the same time, the snow cocoons the outside, making it seem softer and smaller and safer. 

Asami rubs an unhurried hand down Akihito’s back. Kirishima opens the door. The whoosh of cold air is a shock, but then it morphs into wonder as Akihito’s breath comes out crystalized. 

Akihito hugs daddy’s neck tight. And daddy steps foot outside. 

For a second, the air inside his lungs solidifies, but daddy is quick to whisper assurances and lightly bounce him. “-re okay, Aki-chan. Daddy will protect you. Don’t you worry about a thing.”

“Daddy.” Akihito dares to loosen a finger. When nothing happens, he unclenches another digit. Snow lightly drops onto his hair, his eyelashes, the back of his hands. It’s peaceful out here. The blond turns his head to the sky. He’s amazed by the view of drifting snowpetals, floating with the breeze, perching on wherever it can touch. 

“Happy Christmas Eve, Aki-chan. Daddy loves you.” Asami presses a kiss to Akihito’s forehead. Daddy’s lips are warm, melting some snowflakes so that the blond’s skin is wet now. 

“Love you, daddy.” Akihito giggles back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aki doesn't know how much and deeply he's loved.


	27. Tsundere brothers and Yandere mothers, oh my

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is a secret between you and me, you got that, crybaby?”

The moment Yoh’s rain on a windowpane and FeiLong’s sweet fumes enter Akihito’s range, the boy lifts his head and scans the window impatiently. 

Daddy and Kirishima are in the lobby discussing something with briefcases while Akihito is by the windows, reading a children’s book in Chinese. It took daddy over half an hour to convince Akihito to read by the windows the first time. Now, Akihito bounds towards the windows by himself, Teremok in tow. 

Finally, Akihito spots the two men. “Daddy! Daddy! It’s mommy and daddy!”

A few minutes later, mommy and daddy open the door. Their coats are wet, their boots covered in dirty street snow. But Akihito runs to the men, full force, arms out. 

“Mommy! Daddy!”

FeiLong catches the boy cleanly and ruffles Akihito’s blond locks. “Look at you, Aki-chan! You’re so tall now.”

Yoh grunts in agreement. “You’re growing well, Aki-chan. Are you eating lots?”

Akihito nods enthusiastically. “Mommy! Daddy!”

“Aw, you’ve missed us, huh?” FeiLong pretends to muse, shooting a victorious grin at Asami.  _ Looking young, Daddy. _ FeiLong mouths.

Yoh takes off his jacket and rubs the soles of his boots to get the rest of the snow off. The third newcomer awkwardly stares at Akihito. 

“I’m sorry it took longer than expected for us to come back, Aki-chan.” Mommy runs a hand through Akihito’s waist-length hair. “But now, you can visit mommy and daddy in China anytime, okay?”

Akihito nods. 

FeiLong laughs. “Come out, Tao. We know you’re there.”

**

The third person turned out to be Tao. Over the years, Tao has filled out, growing into the shadow of a man he will be. Tao is taller than Akihito, quiet in the way Yoh is, sly in the way FeiLong is. Tao is a child in the mafia. Nothing changed that. 

Tao now also apparently can boss Akihito around. 

“No, Akihito. You can’t drink from that. Give it to me.”

“No!” Akihito clutches the bottle that’s fallen. He was drinking his afternoon snack when his lips went slack to yawn. The blond just picked it up and was going to resume drinking the lavender hazelnut milk when Tao meanly started to pick on Akihito.

“Akihito.” Tao seems to try to search for words. FeiLong, in the kitchen, hides a smile under a sleeve. “You’re being a very bad boy right now. Give me the bottle.” The words sound like Tao is repeating something that’s been said to him.

“NO!” Akihito hates being called a bad boy. He stomps his feet, frustrating welling up his shins and chest. He plops down dramatically on the carpet, hiding the bottle under his belly where he’s lying down. He doesn’t want stupid Tao to steal his milk. It’s his milk. Daddy made it for  _ Akihito _ . 

“You have five seconds before I’m getting Fei to spank you, you,  _ you baby _ .”

“NO!” Akihito screams. He doesn’t want a spanking! The blond flails his arms and legs while he’s facedown on the carpet. “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!”

Yoh’s quick but unhurried footsteps come closer and stop next to Akihito. “Hey, little guy. Take a deep breath. It’s okay.” Yoh places a hand on the boy’s head. 

It takes long minutes for Yoh to quiet Akihito down, but eventually, Akihito is just sniffling and hugging Yoh’s shin. FeiLong continues to cook in the kitchen, unperturbed, as if this is a typical afternoon.

“There you go.” Yoh smiles down at him, and Akihito rolls over so that his neck doesn’t have to crane while staring at Yoh. “Do you want to tell daddy what’s got you so worked up?”

Tao pouts from the couch. “His bottle fell on the ground, and he was going to stick it back into his mouth. I told him to give me the bottle. And then he started screaming.”

“Aw, Aki-chan. Is that why you were so mad? You were still hungry and wanted to finish your bottle, but Tao stopped you?”

Akihito nods. 

“Don’t worry, Aki-chan. Nobody’s taking your food away from you. Nobody’s going to starve you. Tao just wanted your bottle so that he could wash the nipple. You don’t want to eat any dirty germs, do you, Aki-chan?”

Akihito peers up at Yoh’s earnest face. Is that really what was going to happen? Akihito doubts it. Tao could have just wanted to steal his milk from him. But Yoh makes everything better. He opens his arms.

The man’s lips melt into another smile as Akihito is hoisted up onto Yoh’s hip. The bodyguard pokes a fingerpad on the boy’s nose. “You’re good, Aki-chan. Nobody’s going to spank you for what happened. We’re just going to take the bottle over to the sink and get you a new nipple, alright?”

Akihito wordlessly watches as Yoh changes the rubber nipple and washes the dirty one. FeiLong eyes Yoh fondly when the other man is not looking. 

When Akihito makes a distressed noise at the milk being poured out into a saucepan, Yoh assures him that it’s just being heated. Look, Aki-chan. I’m just heating it up. Isn’t it nicer warm?

Tao looks on, frowning, a dark, looming shadow. 

“Tao, do you mind putting the milk back into the bottle?” 

The lanky teen sulkily rises to do so, banging the pan on the stove. Akihito flinches. It sounds too much like gunshots. 

“Here.” Tao looks away while presenting the new bottle to Akihito. 

“Say thank you, Aki-chan.”

“... Thank you.” Akihito whispers, voice breaking from his screaming episode. 

“Good boy, Aki-chan. Good job, Tao.” Yoh makes to ruffle Tao’s hair, but Tao slaps the hand away. 

“Whatever.” Tao mumbles, walking away to do who knows what. Brood in a corner, most likely.

**

“Do you want to play with me?” Akihito politely asks Tao, Teremok cradled in his arms. 

Tao peers at the boy, a sneer ready on his lips. But then the teen’s face smooths out. “Nice try. I’m not going to play with a whore who seduced Fei.”

FeiLong chooses this time to walk into the living room, grace personified, robes billowing behind him. “What was that about me?”

Tao’s visage completely changes from contempt to adoration. “Fei!” 

Mommy quirks his lips up and ruffles Tao’s hair. Tao leans into it like a touch-starved puppy, grin wide and eyes sparkling.

Somehow, Tao whips out a comb. Where did it come from?

“Go ahead, Tao.” Mommy sits down on the carpet next to Akihito, back to Tao. Tao starts to reverently comb FeiLong’s hair. 

Akihito watches Tao for a moment. The teen is reposeful, rhythmically swooping the comb down FeiLong’s long, luscious hair. Akihito places Teremok on mommy’s lap and stuffs his nose into the man’s hips. It’s a Teremok-Aki-Mommy sandwich. 

He feels warm fingers pat his neck. “Mommy wants to know if you’ve been good while mommy and daddy were gone.”

Akihito slowly nods into the silk. He’s getting sleepy. It’s very easy for him to get sleepy, now. All the heartbeats around him are hale and loud and even. This comfortable position can be easily turned into an unwelcome position, though. Akihito knows well. “No spanking?”

An indulgent chuckle. “Mommy will not spank you for your answer, Aki-chan.”

“Aki’s been naughty, mommy.”

“Ho? In what way?”

“... Aki doesn’t want to share Daddy with anyone. So Aki makes Daddy stay with him.”

“Does Aki-chan get jealous if Daddy is with someone else?”

No? Not really. Akihito shakes his head. “Scared.”

FeiLong sighs. Slowly shapes the words. “You’re not going to be taken away again, Aki-chan. You’re safe. Daddy is here. Mommy and daddy are here. And if anything happens, you have your uncles to take care of you too.”

“Mommy, don’t leave me.”

The wooden comb cracks.

**

Daddy, mommy and daddy all have to go do something. They said they will be back in 30 minutes. They promise to come back.

Tao is Akihito’s babysitter.

At first, Akihito nodded along. When Daddy leaves to do things, Daddy always comes back. Whether it be 5 minutes or 10 minutes or 30 minutes later. So it shouldn't change, when it’s Daddy and mommy and daddy all leaving to do things. They promised to come back. So they’ll come back.

It’s the same, right? So why is Akihito’s stomach so fluttery? Why does it feel like a scream is just waiting to erupt from his belly?

Tao glares at Akihito. “Get up and clean up after yourself. I’m not tricked by your ploys, you lazy pig. You’re stealing my Fei. Fei is not your mommy!”

Akihito stares at the fallen bowl, shattered into three pieces on the kitchen floor. He should clean it up. But last time… last time, mommy said to not clean it up. Daddy also didn’t like him cleaning it up. 

The boy shakes his head, mute.

“You need an incentive? Did you know? I haven’t ever been spanked, because I’m a good boy. But Fei had to spank you many, many times. You think I haven’t noticed? You’re a bad boy. So clean it up, or you’ll get a spanking.”

Every sentence that comes out of Tao’s mouth is like a dagger into Akihito. “Mommy…”

“Five.”

Akihito tries to unstick his leaden feet, to go clean up the bowl.

“Four.”

The boy’s hands shake. His breaths are uneven. What is happening? Akihito doesn’t want a spanking. But he can’t clean it up. He just wants Daddy or mommy or daddy. He wants an adult. He wants someone who will understand him.

“Three.” Tao’s eyes are sharp. Assessing. Victorious. They both know what will happen. Akihito hates it. 

“You’re not the boss of me!” He stomps. He can’t clean it up. “No! No!” He screams, through his panic.

“Two. One.” Tao smiles grimly. 

Akihito shakes his head. “No, no, no!”

Tao sweeps the shards into the sink with one movement. The floor clear, the teen stalks forward and grabs Akihito’s wrist, pushing the boy onto the kitchen chair so his torso is on the seat. “Stay. If you fall off, I’ll add more.”

The thought spills cold fear down his stomach. 

Akihito wheezes. He’s trembling. Tao hums. Walks around the penthouse. The boy doesn’t dare move from his position. 

The phone rings. Tao picks it up. 

“Yes, Fei. Yes. It’s alright, me and Aki-chan are having a fun time. I can take care of him for 30 more minutes. Yes, yes. Go ahead. Don’t worry about him.” Tao hangs up with a click.

“Please, please, I’m sorry! Tao, I’m sorry! Please, I’m a good boy, I’m good.”

For some reason, that seems to stop Tao in his tracks. “Oh, god. I… What was I doing?”

“I’ll be good, please, I’ll be good! Please, Tao, I’m sorry. Aki’s sorry. Aki will clean it up!”

Tao comes to his senses. “I’m not him. I won’t be like him. He’s not my father.” The teen whispers to himself. Tao smooths fingers over Akihito’s long hair, petting down his neck. 

Nobody’s touched that part of him in such a long time, he’s forgotten about the reaction uncle Yura’s trained into him. When Tao reaches the full expanse of his neck, Akihito’s limbs sprawl out like a cut marionette's strings. 

Tao inhales. Tests his grip again. Akihito pants and moans into the varnish of the chair. 

“Mommy…”

Shocked, Tao lets go, stumbling back a step. “I. I didn’t mean to. I-” The teen shakes his head. “I’ll get you a bottle.  _ Don’t  _ tell this to anyone else. This never happened, you got it?”

Akihito nods. Tao comes back with a bottle, awkwardly offering it to the bent-over boy. Akihito doesn’t dare move. 

“You… you can get up.” When Akihito doesn’t respond with anything other than a stuttered breath, Tao pulls Akihito up the chair, even though Akihito can’t move so he’s sure he’s dead weight. Tao grunts and pulls the boy into the bedroom, grabbing Teremok on the way. 

Akihito’s still scared. What’s happening?

“Uncle Fei is my uncle. I’m sorry. Yoh was right.” The apology exits clumsily out of Tao’s mouth. It looks like it’s hard to say. “I was jealous. Really jealous. You just wouldn't-. Anyway. I let my anger get the best of me.” 

Akihito breathes into Teremok. His eyes are itchy.

Tao sighs, just like how Fei does sometimes. “After you came to HQ, it seemed like uncle Fei’s life revolved more around you than me. Uncle Fei’s life still does. He doesn’t see me. Not really. Not ever, really.” That last part is muttered. Tao clears his throat. “But I’m older than you, and must know better.”

What? The attitude change gives him a whiplash. What is happening?

“This is a secret between you and me, you got that, crybaby?”

Akihito nods, jerkily. Akihito can keep secrets just fine. This one is nothing more than a drop in an ocean of red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From one child of the mafia to another. Nothing is really how it seems.


	28. Life Goes On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami consolingly pats Akihito’s shoulder. “It’s not something for little boys to hear late at night. Daddy and mommy will tell you when you’re ready, Aki-chan.”
> 
> “I love you, Aki-chan.” FeiLong breaths out, hugging him close like he’s precious. It just makes the smell of copper stronger. “Mommy loves you very much.”

Daddy, mommy, and daddy come back bloodied. Oh, they’ve showered somewhere else. They’ve changed clothes. But Akihito can still smell the sharp copper that’s absorbed into their skin. 

Akihito’s in the bedroom, full from a late dinner. Tao and Yoh are cleaning up. FeiLong and Asami are muttering in low tones at the desk by the closet.

“Mommy?” Akihito’s voice cracks. It’s the first word he’s said to them since they came back.

FeiLong looks up. “Yes, Aki-chan?”

“Who is Tao’s daddy? Why is Tao’s daddy scary?”

The men look like they’ve swallowed a mouthful of vinegar. “Where did you hear about Tao’s daddy, Aki-chan?”

The boy was about to say Tao, but he remembers his promise. It’s a secret. “I dreamed it. Before the fire.” 

Asami leans on the backrest, assessing FeiLong. FeiLong sweeps his eyes to Akihito. Teremok. “Tao’s daddy wasn’t very nice, Aki-chan. But you don’t need to worry about him anymore. He’s not going to bother anyone anymore.”

“Okay.” To Akihito, it’s that simple. He crawls over to the two men.

“What are you doing, Aki-chan?” Asami teases.

Akihito climbs atop FeiLong’s legs so that the man gets a lapful of squirming Akihito. “Want mommy.” He confesses as he hooks his fingers together over the long-haired man’s neck and legs over the man’s hips like a baby monkey. 

“Did you have fun with Tao today?”

Akihito nods, hesitantly. “Mommy’s sad. Daddy is sad too. Why?”

Asami consolingly pats Akihito’s shoulder. “It’s not something for little boys to hear late at night. Daddy and mommy will tell you when you’re ready, Aki-chan.”

“I love you, Aki-chan.” FeiLong breaths out, hugging him close like he’s precious. It just makes the smell of copper stronger. “Mommy loves you very much.”

  
  


**

“You only gained half a kilogram?” FeiLong tuts, disapproving eyes glaring judgment down at Akihito. “Do you need a trip over my knee to remember to eat your food?”

What?! No!

“Then you should know to eat better.”

Yoh, in the kitchen, chuckles. “You know, Aki-chan, this sounds really familiar-”

“No!”

His parents hide their sniggers. Tao looks pretty amused as well.

They can all eat wasabi for all he cares!

**

“And breathe out.” The doctor lady smiles. “You’re all good, Aki-chan! What a good boy you’ve been.”

Yeah! He’s a good boy. 

“All he needs are some vaccines, now. Asami-sama, if you sign the form here…”

At Akihito’s fearful expression, FeiLong laughs. “It’s only some shots, Aki-chan. Nothing to be nervous about.”

The lady takes out what has to be a dozen needles and vials. Akihito just stares at them while the lady leaves. “Daddy?”

“Lay down, Aki-chan.” Asami runs a hand over Akihito’s back.

Hesitantly, Akihito lays on the bed. Yoh drags the boy upon his lap. Daddy pulls his pants down by the waistband and swipes an alcohol pad across his skin. 

FeiLong feeds a bottle into Akihito’s mouth, brushing his hair. Akihito fidgets. He’s scared of the needles. 

“May I scruff you, Aki-chan?”

Akihito stops fidgeting, but his limbs still want to  _ go go go _ . He can stay still. He can!

“Don’t be nervous, Aki-chan. It’ll just be to help Daddy so Daddy won’t have to do it twice.”

Oh no. Do it twice?! Akihito weakly nods. FeiLong coos. 

“Good boy.” Yoh smiles down at him and slowly moves his hand on Akihito’s neck. After a breath, Yoh massages his nape. When Yoh’s hand finally finds the orientation to scruff him, Akihito’s legs stop twitching and everything turns fuzzier. Softer. Calmer.

Tao inhales. “That’s creepy. His pupils are huge now.”

FeiLong pats Tao’s head. “It’s natural for the young of some animals. Be glad it’s not natural for humans, or else I would have scruffed you everyday when you wanted to be a pirate.”

Akihito feels pinches, but it’s an afterthought. He knows he was scared, but he’s not. He’s safe. Daddy’s here. With each swallow, banana milk slides comfortingly down his throat to warm his tummy. 

In the background, Tao whines in embarrassment. “Don’t bring that up, Fei…”

He closes his eyes. 

“There you go, Aki-chan. That’s a good boy.” Yoh reassures him.

The bodyguard’s grip gets stronger. Another wave of relaxation washes through him. 

Asami grunts. “Half-way done.”

Akihito gets the urge to see how many are left. He tries to crane his neck, but Yoh pets and shushes him. He can’t really move that much, anyway. The urge fades away.

It feels good. There’s no stress, no worries, no fear. Everything is alright in the world.

A while later, some things are thrown in the trash can. Daddy eases his underwear and pants back on. 

Yoh releases his nape, and Akihito whines, nudging into the fingers. He wants to marinate in this relaxation.

“Okay, okay.” Yoh laughs. The hand is placed back on his neck. 

With his other hand, Yoh slides the boy’s sweater up and over, taking his hand off only for a second for the sweater to land on the bed. The man massages the base of the blond’s shoulders, soothing his wings out. 

“Is this better, Aki-chan? Give your wings some air to breathe?”

“Hnngn.” 

Feilong huffs with amusement. Daddy, at Akihito’s legs, chuckles and flips through some paperwork. FeiLong pours himself some whiskey while Tao chatters on about something or the other.

It’s peaceful. Soothing. Easy. 

“You ready to come up, Aki-chan?” Daddy crouches in front of him. There’s nobody else in the room. Where did they go? What time is it?

“It’s dinnertime, kitten. Everyone is in the kitchen. You want some sushi?”

Akihito shakes off the remnants of sluggish serenity. He moves one finger, then his arm, then his torso to sit up. 

His movement quickens as awareness floods in. Daddy takes advantage and kisses each of his clumsy fingers and toes. “Ten little fingers, ten little toes. And  _ one  _ little nose!” 

Akihito shrieks with laughter and lifts his arms up. “Daddy, up?” Daddy slides the abandoned sweater back on the boy and heaves the blond up to a hip carry. 

Asami flits a kiss on Akihito’s forehead. “If you like being scruffed, Daddy won’t mind doing it more often.”

Akihito wrangles a grip on Daddy’s shoulders, leaning his head on Daddy’s clavicle. “Can Daddy do it lots? All the time?”

Daddy’s chest shakes. “Anytime you want, baby.”

**

  
  


Six months later, Akihito can finally go outside without panicking. He can walk in parks, pet dogs, run his fingers through the fecund earth. He can control his fires, and bestow lots more than a mere protection rune. He knows the weight of his wings, the flutter of his feathers, the whistling of the wind like the beat of his heart. 

“And who’s your favorite person?” Mr. Beard Man teases. It’s the first time since the warehouse incident that Akihito’s seen his police friends. Daddy’s busy today, but Haruto and Yuta indulgently watch over him. He’s with people who love him. He will be protected.

“Daddy!” He screams, clapping his hands. That’s his answer, hands down. There’s no competition. 

“Awww.” The crowd of police coo. Akihito’s just so cute.

“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! Love Daddy!”

“I bet you do, buddy. What do you like the most about daddy, hm?”

His answer hasn’t changed since he was asked last. “How loud Daddy’s heart is.”

“Cutie-Aki-chan! That’s so sweet.”

“Aki-chan.” Yamanaka, the chief of the violent crimes and terrorism division, holds up a hand. He’s serious. The crowd quiets, like they’re back in the bullpen. “Can you hear everyone’s heartbeats?”

He nods slowly. It’s been so long he’s forgotten what it’s like for normal people. Can normal people not hear hearts? 

“What’s the quietest thing you can hear, Aki-chan?”

He always hears the hum of electricity, the woosh of air in and out of lungs, the beating of hearts. He listens closer, trying to filter out the messy, busyness of people outside. Daddy must be somewhere. He can feel Daddy. Can he hear Daddy?

After a few seconds, he finally pinpoints Daddy’s steady thump-thump far away and up. 

Akihito points to where Daddy’s heart is beating.

“I can hear Daddy’s heart. Doki-doki.”

Haruto textes something. The man looks up from his phone. “Aki-chan...your daddy is at Sion.  _ Five kilometers away _ .”

Yep. That’s where he was pointing. The world is getting too headachy, so Akihito decreases his sensitivity. Like the pupils of an eye shrinking to adjust to bright light, the world muffles so that it’s not that loud anymore.

Ah. That’s better. Haruto presses a smile. “Hey, Aki-chan. Do you want to show off your new wings?”

“Yeah! Look, I got new feathers!” Akihito excitedly babbles. Haruto obediently zips open the slits on the back of his shirt, and Akihito flares out his wings and layers the pinions with energy so that they’re visible, like oil on glass, like the color of water. 

“Wow, Aki-chan. First you grew a lot taller then you’ve got new feathers? Look at you!” Ito-san praises. The rest of the police force ooh and ahh. 

Akihito bounces in happiness. “Uh-huh! Uh-huh!” He nods. “I’m big and strong now!”

“You sure are!” Yamanaka laughs. “How old are you now, Aki-chan?”

“I’m two!” He sticks out two fingers in a vee. He can count! On his birthday, Daddy gave him a camera and lots of tickles. FeiLong gave him a gun, which Daddy confiscated right away. Yoh, winking, gave him a get-out-of-spanking coupon, to use at his discretion. Tao begrudgingly gave him a comb. 

“Eh? A big boy now, aren’t ya?” Tanaka leans against the filing cabinet, gruff and with a beard. “Does big boy Aki-chan still like playing with shaving cream?”

“... Maybe…” The blond equivocates. “Aki-chan is a good boy!”

A policewoman squeals. “So cute!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they went and killed Yantsui. Finally. While Tao was babysitting Akihito. 


	29. You're a kind child, Aki-chan.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody loves him. So why is he sad?

“Eh?” 

“Eh?” Akihito copies, tilting his head. 

“What did you say, Aki-chan?”

“So he’s in jail? Why doesn’t someone just explain why what he did was bad?” Kuroda is babysitting Akihito today. FeiLong, Asami, and Mikhail are meeting somewhere secretly. Yoh is watching over Tao.

Kuroda strokes his non-existent beard. “Hm. Sometimes, people don’t listen. They don’t think what they did was bad. So they need a time-out to think about what they did.”

“But if they think about what they did in the time out, why do so many of them do the crime again?” Akihito walks, swinging his and Kuroda’s hand between them. They’re walking to the konbini to pick up some pocky. 

“Because they don’t have other options, Aki-chan. The world is not fair.”

“Oh, Aki-chan?!” Yamanaka-san stops in front of them, in surprise. Ito-san is with the police chief. “What a coincidence! It’s nice to see you.”

Akihito bounces in excitement. “Mr. Beard Man! Mr. Sushi!”

“Yamanaka-san. Ito-san.” Kuroda nods. “Have you gone over the files I sent you?”

“Kuroda-san.” Yamanaka replies discreetly. “It’s going as well as it can go.”

“Ha, you look good, Aki-chan. Where are you going?” Ito-san ruffles Akihito’s hair. 

“I’m Mr. Sushi, Aki-chan?” Yamanaka jibs. 

“Mr. Sushi fits you, chief.” Ito-san’s eyes glint. 

“Pocky!”

“Ah, the konbini, then?” 

“Yes. The one on block 62. Aki-chan, do you want to ask your questions to Mr. Beard Man and Mr. Sushi?” Kuroda adjusts his glasses.

Akihito shyly hums, looking up at Kuroda. 

“Go ahead, Aki-chan. Your friends will try their best to answer.”

“Why do people do things that are cruel?”

“Oh, Aki-chan, that’s quite a question.” Ito-san penses. 

Apparently, all four of them are going to the konbini together. “I mean. Animals can hurt others, but they don’t… think really hard and then do it?”

“You mean  _ plan  _ cruelty?” Yamanaka’s arms are akimbo, the man thinking deeply.

“Yeah?”

“Well. Humans are different from animals in that we have the capacity for premeditated cruelty. Cold-blooded murder, for example. But because humans have a larger capacity for forethought, it means that humans are more responsible for their actions.” Kuroda interjects.

Akihito nods his head. He’s thankful that today, it’s a day where things are clear. A day where he can understand what Kuroda is talking about, even when he usually will be confused.

“Cruelty… when you think about the sheer scale of cruelty in human history, it’s revolting. Cruelty is everywhere. Nothing justifies it. People are cruel to animals, the world, other people, themselves… But don’t despair, Aki-chan. Just as there’s cruelty, there’s kindness and hope and love. Your Daddy loves you, and so does your mommy and daddy. I love you too, Aki-chan.” Kuroda squeezes Akihito’s smaller hand.

“But why are people cruel? Why are people so mean all the time?”

“We’re here, Aki-chan!” Ito-san sing-songs. Akihito looks at the store. It’s high-end, and nigh empty. Akihito peers behind. Haruto and Yuta, following at a discrete distance, flash him peace signs.

“People.” Yamanaka sighs. “Are mean when all they’ve known is meanness. Or they’re mean because it makes them feel good, powerful. Or they’re mean because they want to hurt others. It’s not good.”

Inside the store, there’s row after row of pastel-packaged products, lined up neatly up and down the aisles. There’s nobody else in the store but them. A few people who work there incline their heads at their group when they pass, offering help.

“Why aren’t there anyone else here?” Akihito, eyes wide at Kuroda.

“This is a special store, Aki-chan. Nobody’s going to bother us here.”

“Bother us?”

“Your uncle means that this store is high-end, Aki-chan. Most people can’t afford things in here.”

“...What? What do you mean?” The items on the shelves are just normal water, normal rice, normal fruits. Why would they be so expensive?

“Your Daddy wants to be sure that in case an accident happens, you won’t get in trouble. Your Daddy pays the people here to be discreet.” Shinji-ji answers.

“Lots of questions today, kid?” Yamanaka smiles genially. 

Okay. That makes sense. In case he exposes himself, nobody’s going to know. He’s not going to get in trouble. He won’t get kidnapped again.

There’s so many things in the store, all lined up pretty, Akihito gets drawn in. His eyes glaze over the colorful packaging and he can’t tear his gaze away. Everything calls to him, lulling him into a trance.

“Aki-chan?” Ito-san is crouching in front of him. “Oh. Hey, buddy. You got lost, there. Do you want to choose the pocky?”

Akihito shakes himself out of his fog. Yamanaka-san is mentioning something about therapy progress and overstimulation. 

At Akihito’s suggestions, Kuroda picks up a strawberry, an original, and a matcha flavor pocky. They head to the registrar, where an assistant quickly scans their items and bags them. Kuroda slides out a sleek, black card. Oh. Yeah. People have to pay for things. 

For some reason, after not seeing money for so long, it feels wrong. 

“Why do people have to pay? Aren’t all the fruits of the earth for every living being?”

Ito-san startles. “Well. Um. People have goods and other people need to trade for them.”

“But why can’t people give their things for free? Everyone can do something different, and then share. That way everyone gets what they need.”

“Aki-chan, not everyone is as open-hearted as you. I know it’s unfair to pay for what you want, but that’s how the world works. If nobody pays, some greedy people-”

Oh. Oh, no. No. That can’t be, right? “The reason why we have to pay is not really to help the person who sells it, it’s to prevent certain kinds of people from buying it!”

Nobody says anything. The store owners just stand awkwardly with the bag of pocky. Yuta and Haruto stare pensively at Akihito. 

“That’s. That’s why this store is special, isn’t it? To prevent the people who need food more than us from getting food? Because they’re not special enough? What happens to people who don’t have money for food? Or pocky? From any store? Because the store sells it for money, and the people don’t have money? Do they just… die? Oh. OH. Or.” Akihito turns to Kuroda. “They do crime. Not because they like it, or don’t know it’s wrong. They do it because they don’t have other choices. And then they go to jail. And then once they come out, they have less choices, because they went to jail. And so they do it again. And then they go to jail again-”

“Aki-chan.” Yamanaka cuts him off. “You’re a very bright boy. You’re right. I won’t mince my words. Making necessary resources inaccessible to the people who need it most would just mean that those people have no other option than to get it another way. Which can mean stealing, and other kinds of crime.”

Akihito’s voice, so big and frantic and fast a few seconds before, becomes timid. “Why don’t we just give the stuff to people who need it?”

“Because people are greedy. Selfish. Everyone needs food, and water, and shelter. So people take advantage of that and profit off of these universal needs.”

“Why, Mr. Sushi? Why can’t people just work together and take care of each other and share? The earth is more than rich enough. There’s enough food for everyone. So why are people starving?” He’s not so naive to believe that people are not starving. He’s passed starving people roaming the streets and parks many times. They can’t lie to him about that.

Mr. Sushi smiles weakly. “I know it’s unfair, sweetie. But it’s just the way the world is.”

“But. It could be  _ so much better _ . So why don’t people make it better?”

“I know, I know. There’s lots of people who want to make it better, but systems are slow to change. It’s lots of hard work. All we can do is our best.”

“Mr. Sushi.” Akihito whispers, distressed. “Why? Why is the world so bad, when it could have been so  _ good _ ? Why did humans ruin it? Why do people hurt themselves?”

“It’s not so much about hurting themselves, as hurting others, Aki-chan. You’re right. Humans are doing a lot of things wrong. But once we know what we are doing is wrong, we try to be better.”

Akihito nods. He’s tired. He doesn’t want the pocky anymore, but Ito-san gently takes the bag from the shell-shocked worker. They all leave in a group, with Akihito hip-carried by Kuroda. 

“You’re such a smart, bright boy, Aki-chan. I know there’s a lot of bad things in the world. But Shini-ji wants you to know that for all the bad things in the world, there’s a lot of good, too. What people have to do is try their best to do as much good as possible. And to me and your Daddy and your other parents, you’re very, very good. You make us all so happy. We love you so, so much. Don’t forget that.”

“Okay, Shinji-ji.”

Shinji-ji presses a kiss on Akihito’s forehead. The boy giggles, breaking the sombre mood. Ito-san and Yamanaka-san press kisses on the blond’s forehead as well, making sure to leave Akihito’s head wet. 

“Eww!”

**

“And so, that’s how I found him, fish in his hair and seaweed in his clothes.” FeiLong smugly recounts, laying back into the chair. He’s nursing a whiskey in his expensive silk pajamas. 

Tao’s cheeks redden. “Well, it was only once. I didn’t do it again.”

“I know, Tao, I know.” Yoh reassures the embarrassed teenager. “You never tried to become a fish seller again. You learned.”

Tao ducks. “Uh-huh.” His voice is muffled under his sleeves. 

Aki-chan peeks up from his coloring. It’s different, seeing Tao with FeiLong. The boy turns into a completely different person.

The front door swings open, and somebody groans. It’s Kirishima. “Package for Aki-chan. It was from your…” The man coughs. “Your… comfort women friends.”

“Comfort women?” Akihito repeats, cocking his head. FeiLong leans back and laughs like a hyena. The shock of the sound startles Tao and Yoh, a bit.

“Uncle OKei-Kei means the friends you made at the underground hotel.” Yoh interprets for him. Thank goodness for Yoh.

Akihito nods sagely. He understands. The boy makes curious chirps at the long, rectangular package.

“Do you want Uncle OKei-Kei to read you the note, Aki-chan?” OKei-Kei adds as he settles in, loosening his tie and putting the keys on the kitchen hook.

Akihito nods so fast he’s dizzy.

Yoh snorts and scoots forward to cradle Akihito’s head in his muscled thighs to stop the boy from nodding his brain into a concussion. “Easy there, buddy. Excited?”

Head ensnared, the boy can only moan an affirmative. Tao is entranced by the package, taking wild guesses at what it is with FeiLong.

Kirishima clears his throat and opens the envelope decorated with glitter, hearts, and neon highlighters. “Dearest, cutest, most adorable..” The secretary’s face spasms and he clears his throat. 

_ “Aki-chan, _

_ We all hope you and Teremok are doing well and that you’re having lots of fun. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other, so we don’t expect you to remember us. We’re the girls from the hotel in the basement. _

_ We hope you’re healthy and happy. Just to fill you in; After you ran away, Ai-chan ran away too. It was very scary for her. She was very brave. She was very inspired by your bravery, Aki-chan. When she was running away, she heard that you were taken to a big building. She called your daddy and told your daddy and Suzuki-san and Kuroda-san about the big building.  _

_ Your daddy saved all of us. After Ai-chan told them, Suzuki-san ran off immediately to save you. Your Suzuki-san sure loves you, Aki-chan <3<3\. How is your daddy? How is Suzuki-san? Are they doing well? _

_ Please tell your daddy that we are grateful for everything he’s helped us with, and tell Kuroda-san thank you for telling the police about everything. We heard that there was a big raid on the building, and lots of other people were saved, too.  _

_ You’re a kind and brave child, Aki-chan. Xoxoxo. Hopefully, we’ll meet again in better circumstances. Stay safe and happy second birthday! _

_ -The Girls” _

It’s silent, in the penthouse. 

Kirishima pauses. There’s a heavy weight to the man’s shoulders. “I-”

The secretary thinks better of it. Flips the card over. “There’s more, Aki-chan. It says;  _ P.S. Enjoy the piano. Never stop making music. Your music is beautiful. It’ll be a shame if nobody but us hear it. _ ”

Oh. Did he sing one of his inane songs to calm himself at the underground hotel? One of them probably overheard it. He’s embarrassed that they got him a gift, that they care so much about someone who just left them for dead in the end. He didn’t even think about the girls after his Daddy picked him up from the police station. How are they? What happened afterward?

And Suzuki… Suzu is dead. They still think Suzu is alive, and with Aki-chan. Suzu told him that he was a kind child. And.

There’s something hard in his throat, wet in his eyelashes. His heart beats, beats, beats. 

Oh, Suzu. He knew Suzu was there. But he didn’t even try to save Suzu. 

Yoh catches on the quickest. “Aki-chan. You’re alright. You’re safe now. You got that?”

Akihito presses his face into Yoh’s legs, hides his face from the world. Yoh gently pats his hair and back, reassuring and kind. The man sighs. Akihito can tell that all the adults are tired and grief-worn. It’s in their souls. 

Even Tao knows better than to chatter. 

FeiLong breaks the silence. “Do you want to open the present, Aki-chan?”

Akihito nods, but doesn’t lift his head. “OKei-Kei can open it.” He mumbles into Yoh’s legs.

It’s an electric keyboard. It’s probably the cheapest thing in the apartment, but Akihito knows that he’ll love it. 

He’s just sad, right now. He doesn’t know why. He was okay, before. He got over it. He knows Suzu isn’t coming back. He should be okay. But he isn’t. 

Akihito’s just sad. But nobody pressures him, or makes him talk, or makes him quiet, or makes him do things he doesn’t want to do. Some days, all Akihito does is stay in bed and stare, thinking, drifting. Of course, he shifts every once in a while. Goes to the bathroom. Gets up to drink a sip of water when he becomes too thirsty. But nobody says anything about those days. Nobody says anything about anything, these days, like they're walking on eggshells around him. It’s all so empty.

Everybody loves him. So why is he sad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You probably noticed that as Aki-chan gets more regressed, the writing gets simpler. When he gets less regressed (which will be more often as he continues to process), he can have more complex discussions and he’s more serious.


	30. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akihito and his family

Suzuki grins and scolds him, wiping lemon cake crumbs from his chin. “You’ve got it all over your clothes, Aki-chan? And how did it get on your ear?!”

Akihito shrieks and tries to dodge the brandished towel, but he’s too laughter-clumsy to be successful. 

“Suzu, tickles! Su-”

-zu.

Akihito wakes up. It’s dark. 

“It’s alright, Aki-chan.” Asami’s golden eyes gleam in the darkness. “It was just a dream. Go back to sleep, baby boy.”

Oh. Okay. 

Akihito flops back down on his pillow. He reaches for Daddy’s hand, but his fingers find Daddy’s hip instead. 

He always dreams of him. Of them. Of everyone. Of Tao, of FeiLong, of Yoh. Of Takato and Kou, of Kirishima and Kuroda, of Ito-san and Yamanaka-san. Of Yamazaki-san. Of Suzuki. Of Yuri. Of all the people he’s murdered and help murder, of blood dripping from his footsteps, of his wings being hacked off. Of when he was just a photographer, jumping off roofs and eating breakfasts for dinner, worried about rent.

But then he wakes up, and his dreams fade fast and he forgets. The horror and fear in his dreams are distant, and grow more distant when he wakes. And the other dreams? It feels so natural, in his dreams. 

But when he wakes up, he can’t understand the naturalness. Being Daddy’s boy is natural. What more can he want, when he’s protected and loved and his every want is attended to?

“Daddy?” He whispers. 

“Hm?”

“Why is the world so scary? Why are people mean to each other?”

“Nobody really knows why, Aki-chan. It just is.” Daddy responds. Daddy’s never sleepy. Daddy’s always awake, when he wants to be awake. Sometimes, Aki-chan wonders how it’s possible. 

But Aki-chan knows that Daddy is lying, right now. Lying to him. Daddy knows why. He just doesn’t want to tell Akihito.

Aki-chan retracts his hand, but Daddy gently pulls his fingers. Daddy puts the boy’s hands to his warm neck and the boy’s feet to his warm stomach, warming up his cold extremities. 

Akihito doesn’t cry. His tears have dried up. But his heart still squeezes. He breathes through the pain. Daddy soothingly strokes Akihito’s back.

“Daddy’s going to hold you tight, Aki-chan.”

Daddy holds Akihito tight, and doesn’t let go even when Akihito needs to go to the bathroom. By the end of the day, Akihito’s so fed up he raises his voice and slaps Daddy’s bicep. Of course, it’s barely a tap for Daddy. Daddy kisses his forehead and lets him go, smirking amusedly all the while.

Doesn’t Daddy have work to do?!

But once Akihito’s left alone, he realises that he’s the most well-rested he’s been in weeks and that Daddy’s been subtly feeding him life-energy. And. He’s been eating. And talking. And not in bed the whole day, like how he would be after one of those dreams.

“You going to eat that?” Tao pokes at Akihito. The teen is as annoying as ever. At least that doesn’t change.

“ _Yes_.” Akihito hisses, and plops the entire mochi in his mouth in one go.

Akihito might have choked on it and Kirishima might have had to help him breathe, but it was worth it.

**

  
  


Akihito is outside, squatting in the dirt, fingers deep into the fecund earth. A small worm squiggles out, and Akihito smiles wide in delight. 

The worm is wet and pink and wriggling, like how Akihito is after bathtime. 

“What’cha got there, little guy?” Haruto crouches next to him. The man casts a shadow on the grass.

“Mr. Worm!” Akihito gleefully shows the bodyguard the worm dangling in his fingers. He tries to give the worm to Haruto.

Yuta crouches with them all. “I don’t think Haru wants Mr. Worm right now, Aki-chan. Why don’t you return Mr. Worm to his home?”

Akihito pouts but returns Mr. Worm back into the dirt. The boy tries to pat the earth back to how it was, but the remnants of upturned earth and his failed grass crowns and plucked flower petals bellow his efforts. 

Hm. He purses his lips and concentrates, trickling a tiny bit of life energy back into the earth and making up a whimsical tune, humming softly. The earth and air around them vibrate, for no better word, with life, and it seems like the sun is warmer, the grass greener, the birds chirping louder while the ripped terrain transforms into a plot of rich, lush vegetation. 

In the second the transformation happens, Haruto snatches Akihito’s wrist and forces the boy to stand up, breaking the boy’s connection to the earth. Everything switches back to normal, as if nothing has happened. No warm sun, no green grass, no clear chirping of birds. Just normal garden, and the aftermath of the growth.

“Aki-chan!” Haruto stresses, jaw stiff.

“We’re not in public!”

Yuta exchanges glances with Haruto, and Haruto sighs. Yuta takes Akihito’s wrists, making the boy look at the other bodyguard.

“Aki-chan.” Yuta sighs. “I know we’re not in public, but you must remember to keep your abilities inside the penthouse. This time it was fine, because nobody else was here, but if anyone else comes to this part of the gardens, they’ll wonder why here it’s so different from just a few minutes before, and they’ll start to ask questions.”

Akihito stares, eyes big and pleading. 

“But!”

Haruto places a gentle hand on Akihito’s head, careful to not mess the braids, a sharp contrast to how he was before. “It’s just so that nobody gets interested in you, okay, Aki-chan? You’re not in trouble this time, but just remember that if other people get interested in you, then bad things might happen.”

The thought spills pure fear down Akihito’s back. The boy’s hands tremble. 

“Oh, Aki-chan. You’re alright.” Haruto leans and hugs the blond, uncaring of the boy’s dirty hands. “It’s just so that you don’t get kidnapped again. And even if that does happen, you have me and Yu to protect you, and your Daddy and your mommy too.”

He’s always so afraid of getting kidnapped again, of getting hurt again, of being betrayed by his own body. He’s tired of it. He’s been tired of it. He’s always afraid. When will he not be afraid? It was just supposed to be a simple, easy trip to the garden. 

“Wanna go home now.” Whispers Aki-chan. “Please, Yu?”

**

A week later, when Akihito and his day guards are getting taiyaki, the blond spots Kou and Takato laughing, walking on the other side of the street. Kou’s ring finger is shiny with silver, and he’s holding a baby. They both seem so much older, fully grown. The last time he saw them, he was the older one. 

It’s a cutting comparison to him. He’s frozen in time, never changing, stuck in time as a child, while they got jobs and started a family and moved on with life. 

They’ve moved on. Akihito hasn’t. Akihito’s moved backwards, regressed into this humiliating facsimile of a life. 

Akihito wants to grow up, to grow up fast, to grow up right this instant. He doesn’t want his “friends” who are more babysitters than anything else. He doesn’t want to live in the lap of luxury at the penthouse, with his sham of a family and to ignore all the lives he’s taken. He doesn’t want _all of this_. 

For the moment, he has sudden clarity. It’s easier to think deeply, to remember what it was like to make it out on his own. To not depend on anyone to dress him, or feed him, or sleep with him. To live by himself, to pay for his own apartment and food and hold down a job and have his own plans for his own damn life. 

He’s scared and ashamed and disturbed by what he’s become. How could he-? How could he let himself get this deep, fall this far, become this disgusting?

Akihito is tempted to wave to Kou and Takato, to let them know he’s here, that he remembers them. But he sees the child in Kou’s arms, and that’s a real child. Kou has fallen in love, married, and had a kid. The kid is probably only a year younger than “Akihito” is now.

So Akihito doesn’t wave. He turns his face the other way, so they won’t recognize him if they look across the street. He’s borderline burrowing his face into Yuta’s suit jacket, hiding like a child in their mother’s skirts.

To their credit, Yuta and Haruto don’t say anything until they get to the penthouse, taiyaki eaten and the rest stored away in the fridge. Akihito looks around, at the understated wealth, at the floor to ceiling walls, at the plush wool carpets. 

He doesn’t belong here. He never did. 

“Hey, hey. Aki-chan, what’s wrong? Talk to us.” Yuta’s quiet, concerned face waves in front of him. 

They’re on the bed, getting ready for naptime, like he’s an actual child. Like he needs this much sleep. Another flush of disgust at himself wells up, helplessly. 

Haruto pats Akihito’s head. “Are you thinking sad things? It’s okay if it’s sad, or happy, or mad. Your Haru and Yu don’t mind. We just want you to tell us what’s gotten into you so suddenly, buddy-boy.”

Oh. Yeah. He promised to talk about things that bother him, of things that made him sad or angry instead of bottling them inside. But what’s the use? He’s not an actual child. He doesn’t need all this attention and care and resources. It’s disgusting. That’s what it is.

Akihito can’t stop thinking about that baby in Kou’s arms. 

But he promised them. He made a stupid promise, like he was mentally challenged or something, like he was an actual stupid baby.

But he promised. 

“Do I belong here?”

Haruto and Yuta break out in relieved smiles. “Oh, I thought it was going to be something else, Aki-chan.”

“What? What did you think it was going to be?”

Yuta presses his lips together like he’s holding back a laugh. “Well, um. You see…”

“You’re growing so fast, sensei just wanted everyone to be prepared for your puberty.”

“Puberty?” Didn’t he already go through that?

“Like when your voice drops and you want to start-”

“Okay!” Yuta butts in, sharing a meaningful glance with Haruto. Akihito follows the interaction with wide eyes. 

“Yes, Aki-chan. You belong here. And you always will.” Haruto kneels down on his knee to pick Akihito up and coddles him. Oh, yes. Akihito loves being coddled. 

Akihito winds his arms around Haruto’s warm neck. After the first few times they picked him up, they’ve learned to adjust the carry so he isn’t pressed up against their gun holsters. 

“Sleepytime, I think.” Yuta laughs, a sparkle in his eye. “Do you want a tummy rub, Aki-chan?”

Akihito whines an assent, and Haruto huffs in amusement. “So spoiled.” 

**

  
  


_Three Years Later_

Akihito’s on the bed with Misha, hiding his face into Misha’s stomach. The sun is so bright. Who allowed it to be so bright so early?

“C’mon, Aki-chan. Don’t you want some blini?” 

“Blini?” Akihito whips his head up so fast, his eyes blink to adjust to the sudden light. Misha, Teremok in hand, makes the bear imitate eating happily.

Misha smiles sunnily down at Akihito. Ever since Asami, FeiLong and Misha forged an alliance and cemented their control over just about the entirety of the Asian continent, Misha’s been visiting more often. Sometimes, Tao visits too. But Akihito still likes Yoh and FeiLong’s visits the most.

“Stop doing that to Teremok! I don’t need that stupid bear. I’m five, not two.” Akihito huffs. What does Misha think he is? A toddler?

“Okay, grumpy-pants.” Misha laughs. “Let’s go get your breakfast. It’s not going to wait for you, you know.”

At the reminder of blini, Akihito scrambles off the bed to the bathroom, ignoring Misha’s reminders to actually wash his face and to scrub behind his ears. 

He hears the penthouse entrance open. Who’s coming home? Is it Shinji-ji? OKei-Kei? Mr. Beard Man? Mr. Sushi?

Face still wet, Akihito skids into the living room. “Daddy! Mommy!” And runs headfirst, arms out, to them all.

Mommy catches him and spins him around. Akihito squeals in delight. 

“Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!”

“Why, hello, Akihito. How’s my favorite boy doing?” FeiLong smirks saucily. 

“I’m happy mommy is here! And daddy! And Daddy! Hi, Tao.” Akihito nods at Tao, who returns the nod stoically. 

All of the adults are perpetually frozen in time at their prime. It seems like not one of them has aged, except for Tao, who has gotten taller and filled out to the well-built figure he’s growing into.

Sensei says that Akihito won’t grow anymore. Everyone’s taller than him, and it means that he’ll have to look up to look at them. But that’s okay. It just means that it’s easier for them to cuddle him later.

Yoh greets him with a fond head pat. “Hello, Aki-chan. Long time no see.”

Daddy, emerging from his home office, leans on a wall and elegantly drinks the rest of his whiskey. “Looking young, FeiLong. Almost like you haven’t aged since I last saw you.”

FeiLong huffs derisively. “Pot, kettle. Hogging Aki-chan like an uncivilized beast.”

“You’ve got something to say about that, Fei?” Misha smoothly interjects. Everyone is glaring at each other, except for Yoh and Tao who look on munching… is that pocky?

“Pocky!” Akihito exclaims. “Can I have some, daddy? Tao?”

Three unanimous “No”s resound. The three crime lords glare at each other some more.

“You’ll ruin your appetite, Aki-chan.” FeiLong demurs, hand stroking Akihito’s braids. “Maybe after lunch.”

The blond pouts. “Misha? Daddy?”

They smile and shake their heads at him, weirdly in sinc. “Listen to your mommy.” Daddy responds.

Oh. So that’s how they’re playing it.

**

At the dining room table, mommy is attempting to feed Aki-chan hand to mouth. Yoh sits on his other side, and Daddy is across. Misha is across from Tao. It’s sushi night. Akihito loves sushi.

“I’m five, not _two_ .” Akihito stresses. He’s been having to remind adults about this all the time. Why can’t they ever remember? “I’m a _big boy_ now.”

“Oh yes. How awful of me, Aki-chan.” FeiLong pats Akihito’s hair. “I forgot, with you growing so quickly and all.”

“I can eat by myself, mommy.” Akihito pouts. 

“Yes, yes. Mommy was just reminiscing about when you were younger.” 

Clearly, FeiLong is not going to stop feeding him from hand. Akihito’s lower lip juts out, but he chews on the sushi mommy gives him anyway. It’s tasty. It’ll be a waste of good sushi if he doesn’t eat it.

Misha is, surprisingly, making pleasant conversation with Yoh and Tao. 

If you asked Akihito if all three crime lords can peacefully eat dinner together a few years ago, he would have said no. But here they are. It’s a weird warmth, inverse of the time he saw a babe in Kou’s arms. 

It’s like a family, what he has here. A big, extended family with two dads and a crazy uncle Misha and an older brother. He’s a normal boy, with nothing that special about him, in a normal family. 

It feels good. Akihito knows that he shouldn’t want Asami as a Daddy and FeiLong as a mommy and other mafia men as guardians. But It feels good. Right. Like he has a place to belong, finally. 

Like he has a home. 

And for Akihito, what is there more to want?

“Mommy loves you, Aki-chan.” Mommy declares when they’re all on the couch after dinner, lounging and taking turns rubbing Akihito’s belly. FeiLong always likes to remind Akihito of his love. 

“Daddy loves you too.” Asami follows up noncommittally, eyes gentle and soft.

“And daddy loves you.” Yoh states, like nothing else is possible. Like it’s a fact, and nothing will change it. 

“Misha loves you too, Aki-chan!” Mikhail adds in, poking Akihito on his nose.

“Gege loves you too, Aki-chan.” Tao reluctantly joins in, not wanting to miss out.

Daddy blows a raspberry on Akihito’s navel. Akihito screeches in joy, kicking his legs reflexively. When the blond catches his breath, eyes wide and sparkling, he smiles and engulfs daddy into a hug. “Aki-chan loves you all, too!”

It's that simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Akihito’s version of freedom
> 
> Happy Christmas Eve, guys. It's been a long journey. It was a great ride with y'all. 
> 
> *tips hat*
> 
> See you on the other side

**Author's Note:**

> Questions, comments, critiques? Please leave them down below!


End file.
